Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Prayers and promises

Can prayers help us keep promises we never made, but should have? Do I need to promise something explicitly to actually stick to a decision? What if, in a two way street, I am stuck one way, because of words never said and because of words said? 
Random thoughts on a late work night. :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

A prayer

She was the one that found me. She found me, when I did not know I was lost. She loved me with all her heart and never expected much in return. She gave me solace when I could hardly find it and she was always there, looking at me with those beautiful eyes, full of love and acceptance. Zoya, is becoming worse and I feel so helpless and frustrated that nobody is able to find what is wrong with her. Every vet visit fills me with such sorrow that I just want to go drown myself somewhere.

I dont know what is wrong with her. Sachin came back after a battery of tests today. I am praying that we are able to find what is wrong at least this time around. I want her to get better. I want the dog who used to run and jump and skip and play every day. I am ready to come up with ways to expend her energy. It is heart wrenching to see her lie down wearing a huge t shirt and stare at me with those eyes. 

I am praying that she recovers sometime soon and that I get my favorite naughty pup back. Someone please save us. 

Cure for stupidity

Is there any cure for stupidity? When I am talking to someone who cannot see what is right in front of them and is searching all over the world for it, I want to just scream. I am actually screaming inside while hoping that the voice I am hearing is inside my head and has not magically escaped and found its way out.

I am not mild mannered. However, I have learnt diplomacy. Honestly, early man had it much easier. He/She could just grunt and walk away or throw a club at someone's head. I cannot do that. I can just hope and pray for a cure for stupidity. 

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Mental image

Today, I was browsing Facebook(I'm one of those daily browsers who doesn't post much in terms of content. Or so I like to think) when I came across a friend suggestion. This lady was wearing a short skirt and hugging a tree. I couldn't recognize her at first. Later I realized, this was one of my neighbors whom I'd never spoken to, possibly because I'd pegged her as very conservative. Then, I spent sometime looking at the Facebook profile pictures of my friends. I realized something interesting. We all have a mental image of ourselves and sometimes, that might be in complete contrast to how the world sees us. We could be chirpy, pretty, sensible, angry, sexy, youthful, serious, old, patient, impatient, etc etc. We try to portray that through images and in a controlled environment like Facebook, we work on our pictures to express ourselves. We can't always be how we see ourselves to be. But the times we are, we can definitely preserve that memory.

How I see myself has changed so much over the years that sometimes, it doesn't make any sense to me at all. The girl from 5 years back, might actually find me quite irritating now and the current me is finding that funny. I wish there's a way to plot mental image evolution. If only I can look into people's heads and see how they see themselves. It will be fun.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Ornery vs. Ordinary

Every time I read the word ornery, my brain usually replaces it with ordinary. I don't understand why that happens. Given that one means bad tempered and the other just means something average, I often wonder.

I remember the first time I read the word. It was when I was reading William. Someone called him an ornery boy. Anyone who has read William knows that the author uses a very colloquial way of writing. But still, ordinary did not sit well in that sentence.
I found the meaning and I did remember it.

Perhaps because I knew ordinary first, it still doesn't register. Maybe I should try using ornery in more sentences and let it stay in my head. Hmmm

There are days

There are days
When a lobophile hates words
There are days
When a foodie starves, willingly
There are days
When conversations seem pointless

There are days
When nothing makes sense

There are days
When the pain makes you forget
Every single pleasure

But these are the days
That exist to remind you
Of all that's also good in the world

For you can't identify the light
Without the darkness
You can't value love
Without the pain
You can't value words
Without the silences
And you can't value companionship

Wednesday, August 17, 2016


I've been rereading Sophie's world. This was one book I absolutely fell madly in love with when I was very impressionable(sometimes I think I still am). Anyway, reading it makes me wonder about eternity. Are we all just forms that come together, because we're what we're perceived to be? If there are no perceptions, if there are no judgements, how would we be? How much of our physical form is inseparable from our mental view of who we are? Would we look different, act different if we thought of ourselves differently? Given that even millennia are meaningless when we think of eternity, can a few seconds actually be equivalent to millennia?

These are all random unrelated questions, but perhaps they are related, in that they all came from me in this exact same order.