Thursday, March 23, 2017

To believe or not to believe

My new area of interest is actually user profiling. Professionally with data and personally through personality tests. I have been making people I know take the MBTI test (16personalities.com) ever since I took mine (trying to remember why I did that again, think it was a training effect) and found out i was an ENTJ

Now, my question is, should I believe in them or not? Is it possible that there are only 16 personality types in the world? I find that a little difficult to fully accept. I mean, think about it like this. I can say that all of us are one. How we interact might be different, but fundamentally we all want the same things, just in different ways. So when I think about that, I am unable to accept that there is some sense in the types.

But when I read the personality type, I am able to relate to quite a few things. Not so much so in other types, especially the IS ones. So perhaps from experience, I am able to accept that yes, there is a difference. Probably this is an interesting measure, even if not the most fool proof one. ( For e.g, ENTJs are least likely to believe in a higher power, but I truly believe in God and in the connectedness of things)

Combine this experience with reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, I have to admit, I am understanding a lot of things and making peace with whatever has been let go or is being let go.. 

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Times Square - here I come!

I am going to be in the Times Square this weekend. For work on Monday and for pleasure over the weekend. How did this even happen?! Thank you god! Met, Empire State building and my favorite Ms.Liberty.. will I get my fill of everything? 

Someday i will do a road trip across the US. Until then, i will keep myself happy (no, ecstatic) counting my blessings and thanking him up above for all that he gives me. J'aime Dieu.

Picture Perfect


My third attempt.. I love coloring, I think I am not consistent enough, but I don't know if this is because of my usual over expectation from myself to do a lot and do something all the time.. (Can blame it on being an ENTJ now in my new profiling avatar)  or if it is because I am not doing it everyday. 

Whatever it was, this was a nice experience. I think I have started liking purple a lot now, though blue has always been my favorite color. (My Wardrobe will wail someday)

My friend has recommended i get these felt tip pens. I am adding it to my US shopping list.

An old old dream

It was 2002. I started learning high school French. I remember those amazing classes with one of the best teachers I have ever had. We participated in a French Dumb charades and I sang a French song and we won both competitions. ( I love singing and I still do.. My team mate remarks - "How do we learn to live with the sudden singing?")

Anyway, from 2002, I wanted to visit Paris. It was the city of my dreams. Probably because i fell in love with the language. To cut a long story short, I have finally booked my tickets to my dream destination as my birthday treat.. :) Let me see how it works out and whether my duo lingo trained French is going to help me save the day.

Paris, Je t'aime.. 

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Indulged

Today, I spent the afternoon in a beauty parlor. This is something very new for me. I've never really given much importance to visiting a beauty parlor for anything except cutting my hair. I got my usual boy cut today and also decided to indulge myself in an afternoon of pedicure and manicure. This is the second time in my life that I'm trying both (first was a couple of months ago). I loved it. 

I never could understand why people spent so much time in parlors( this took an hour and a half after my usual hair cut) but I got it today. The outlet to totally disconnect yourself from everything and just get to care for your own self. 

I was reminded of my grandma and her long baths. She used to oil herself leisurely and then spend quite sometime in the bathroom. Why did I ever think that time spent in taking care of myself is not important?

It's an investment towards the one asset that's always yours. Your body. I'm lucky enough to have the time to be able to indulge in it. Lots of people don't. Thank you God. 

I had a good time talking to Jyoti and Savithri, the ladies that took care of me. I spoke to them in my Rusty Telugu and average kannada, so perhaps they ended up speaking quite a bit to me. 

One has a husband that's not able to work as he's had an accident. Her mom in law watches over her children and she only sees them once a month as they live in tirupati. She told this to me matter of factly. (bad English)

She's glad to be able to work and support them. How do people surmount such odds and remain positive? She wore a beautiful hue of nail polish and had such a well made up face. A few minutes of conversations can help us break that preconceived notions we effortlessly make about people. 

The other is getting married next month. She is not going to be able to have her friends at the wedding as it happens on a Sunday and all of them work on Sundays. She's using the money they could have spent on a reception in buying a house for her children to grow up in. 

Behind the different faces we wear, we are all trying our own ways to arrive at the same happiness. I've been so privileged all my life. Even on the days I work the same 12 hours they do, my rewards are far more. Should I thank God or doubt his existence? I should thank him because he has taken care of me, been there for me. But I should also doubt his existence because life is unfair to so many. A second or even a nano second here or there in my entry to the universe, who knows where I'd have been, who I'd have been? Perhaps I'd have been the one adding the cupcake shaped cream to the hot water for someone else's pedicure. 

I'm so glad for this afternoon as it reminded me again how the world is just a point of view. I've been indulged by life. 

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Oli padaitha kanninai

I was doing my usual Youtube surfing today. It started with listening to Annamacharya Kirtanais (I love MS. I don't think I enjoy listening to anyone else so much) and somewhere, I got to listen to Oli Padaitha Kanninai. I haven't listened to that song in ages, but I could sing along - such is the power of the words and the lyrical quality of the poem. 

I remembered my Bharathanatyam performance in school to this song ( I do not dance any more). Playing parts again and again the tape recorder, planning different versions of va, va, va (Which means come, come, come) and emoting to the lyrics. I did have fun then..

Listening to Bharathiyar's lyrics through the divine voice of MS really got me into this great mood. Words can take on a different flavor when it is set in tune and sung with emotion. Words from Mahakavi which are already so full of emotion, are no exception. 

I am now going to dig up and listen to a few more of my childhood favorites in this combination. Paarukulle nalla naadu. (I learnt this song for a music competition..)

Music is eternal. Someday, I wish someone will set tune to something i write and some one eons away will enjoy it, even if they did not know who wrote it. 

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The frozen clock

The numbers in front of me, merge together..
They make sense and they dont
For the meaning I seek, can not be found there.

I identify with the broken clock on the wall,
Stuck like me in a time, 
Perhaps hoping to never lose what has already been
A lost cause..

Could I freeze those moments forever?
The tired glances,
the furtive whispers
The seemingly endless conversations

I watch the bubble form, slow but sure
Have i become a taxidermist now?
One that mummifies memories
Holding on to something,
That would otherwise decay effortlessly..

What is fate?
The preservation?
Or the inevitable decay?