Sunday, April 29, 2007

Random Ramblings

Here i stand..
just thinking
and recollecting
days gone by

The ghosts of the past
float by me
Some smile...
Some mock
A few actually
bring out
long forgotten tears
A few just
get me to ponder
A few What ifs
float by too

Mesmerised i stand
and watch them
mixing together
and finally
disappearing
as a whiff
back to where
they came from
down the depths
of my heart

Bid adieu i have
to too many along
my way
Each time
scared to face
the new day.

Each time
moving away
wanting
to regret the change
but then
unable to

Change,brilliant change
the thing
i despise
the thing
i love
the one thing
that always keeps
me alive

Friday, April 20, 2007

Her

She looks at me,
with a bright smile
on her beautiful face
Cheerful way to
start her new day.
Wears she does
her favorite dress
Choosing all accessories
very carefully..
Where did the vanity box go??
She finds it
beneath used tissues..

Carefully she powders
her nose
hiding the black circles
under her eyes.
Oh! the party last night!

She looks into my eyes
the eyes that mirror
her sorrow
The eyes that display
the truth to the world
the eyes that dont smile..
Eyes,oh eyes!

I drop my mirror
on the floor
Why do you never lie?
Why do you
prevent me
from convincing myself?
Cleaning up
the broken mirror,
I simply hide
the rest in my trunk.

Monday, April 09, 2007

The omnipotent force-fear

The uncrowned king moves forth
having claimed what is rightfully his.
Lands to many he has conquered
Glory he hath acquired
Wherever he goes,
cheers he doth hear

He walks past
his innumerable guards
armed to the teeth..
To his luxurious bed,
he moves forth
sleeping with his armour on
out of fear of an invisible enemy

Dreams just filled with blood
He somehow continues the battle
even then.
But then, a tougher one
The one within himself..
The everlasting battle
that continues to ceaselessly wage
inside his head..
Screams of death,
Rivers of blood,
Ravged souls...
just that...
The spoils of war,
haunt him
even in his throne..

Constantly on the watch
looks he does at his dog
and eats the leftovers of his taster.
Heavily clad he sweats around in summer
scared of a stray arrow,
he moves away from the lake...
looking at the sentry changing shifts
Wondering if even the throne
and the fear that he inherited...
could ever be..

Friday, April 06, 2007

Inspiration

The deep dark sky,
stretched above for miles..
Never ending it seemed to be
somehow that day emanating a gloom
like never before

Then it came
totally out of the blue..
a brilliant lightning too
Brightening up the sky
in an instant
Shedding light into the darkness
The stars, blinded
by its briliance,
just watched

But then oh!
It did disappear
brilliant as it was,
just a temporary whiff
thing that cant last forever

Still they shone
those little stars
Shine they do
with the moon
without the moon
not very bright
but then present always

I dont want to be
the cool bright moon
or the blinding lightning
I just want
to remain
as the omnipotent star

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Requiem for a dream

There are some movies, which have some make you wonder whats wrong with the world. Lose respect for mankind in general and ponder about your own life. Requiem for a dream is one such. Today started as a normal BITSian day (i.e with a tut). After my usual classes and a slightly out of routine lunch in annapoorna with friends, i sit down and start watching this movie. It starts with the guy carting away his mom's telivision set, with carefully constructed scenes, each brimming with reality, the movie continues. I was deeply affected by the role of the mother. The mother who is so lonely and wants afection. A TV show, her supposed saviour, changes her world. The son, addicted totally, becomes a drug dealer. A different face of the western culture. Something not often portrayed in movies. Something that shows that there are depressed lost people everywhere in the world. Be it dazzling, brilliant
America, or India or the remotest part of Africa. Everywhere, the problem is the same. What have I done about them? What can I possibly do? I am lucky enough to be one of the blessed few. Hope I do something to make this world a better place.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Genes...

Recently, i was wondering if genes really had that great an effect on ones personality. I was analyzing(yea.. thats the word) various traits of my brilliant personality(atleast i should call it so) and found few traits that resembled many of the people i knew(relatives). A few traits, i find disgusting in myself. traits i want to change were also i found, inherited. Now i have something to blame for my behaviour!! But jokes apart, one thing of which am convinced is the fact that my life my behaviour is in my hands. Not totally in my genes. I can change what i want to. I can live life the way i want to.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

All the worlds a stage

Na.. am not a great fan of shakespeare or something. This is the one line thats been constanty popping into my head for the past few days. Everyone, or almost everyone is busy trying to fit in and in that process, makes it seem to a crazy observer like me that there is a huge stage setup in which each very badly wants to be a mere accessory be it the eternal doormat or the useless stained tea cup that hasnt been washed in a few years. Maybe it sounds silly, but after discussion with an illuminated few, i have concluded that as far fetched as it seems, it is true. Consider this case. There is a particular group of not so bright people i know who act absolutely smart and actually believe that they are. Not only that, they even give an inferiority complex to pathetic observers(guess thats not the way to describe them tho!). I havent been able to change myself drastically to become an accessory in any kind of stage. A fact that i am proud of. Something i hope, i can keep up for the coming years. I know its going to be tough. Maybe, someday, in a sudden wish to become famous, i might become part of the stage set up of some idiotic place where i act smart but feel like a much trodden upon door mat. Maybe that day il read this blog and give up being a mere accessory and become my own self!