Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Some time..

I have some time.
Some time to think,
Some time to ponder
over deeds and words
which somehow break the heart
and bring forth tears.
Some time to just sit back,
and dream and dream and dream

For a moment,
I pause to question myself.
Does the farther future,
warrant so many dreams?
Is the dead past,
and the unborn future
killing my present day?

Shaken by the thought,
I decide,
that the present
is all I have.

These precious 'some times'
are mine and mine alone.
Some time, in which,
i will do,
what i really want to.
Some time,to relax
Some time to befriend
the idiot box.
Some time, to catch up
with fictious friends
of novels too many.
Some time to socialise,
Some time to wander
aimlessly down memory lane.
Definitely,some time to wonder
about the glorious thing
called future
and learn from past deeds
to make my present
all the more better.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Dreams in darkness

In a dreary hole
she lives..
forever in darkness.
Hatred,sorrow and neglect-
her best friends till date..
Neither day nor night she knows....
for there anguish-
forever abounds....
Enveloped by a huge mist
of sorrow,
she somehow sleeps.

Dreaming although-
colorful dreams.
Love,joy and care:
she forever seeks.
with a will-
that could easily
knock down any hill.

In the darkness
she dreams-
heart filled
with hope..
From reality-
she easily escapes..
Somehow u can dream-
only in the darkest of nights.
Forever this is
her mantra true..
that to dream
u need darkness too...
Thus in her life-
she's always lived-
with hope that
the light of love...
can somehow
drive away
even the darkest night.

The lost piece

Old one..

Wanted i a heart-
to care...

One fine day,
it came my way....

Days flew by....
sans a single sigh....

This affection i felt...
would never die....
Just like that-
it went away...
Down below...
fell my heavy heart....
scattering pieces all around...

Somehow,i joined,
the numerous bits...

Oh! a piece-
still not found..

The wound in here...
unable to heal.

Cracks i felt-
just everywhere...

The pain right there-
quite unbearable...

Easily it stole-
my beauty sleep...

A barrier i have-
for real laughter,
with the weight-
of a patched heart...
pulling me down....

Joy it is-
i badly want.
Hope it is-
i truly seek...

A broken spirit-
moves around...
forever seeking,
the one lost piece....

Memories haunt-
each passing day...

Oh! real joy...
do come my way.....

Gone with the Wind

One of my favorite poems.I guess,the first mature one i wrote..

Gone with the wind are those days of joy,
When life was just a room full of toys...
Clear skies full of love,
Happiness-just like a dove.
Fine weather without hate...
No use just cursing fate.

Now...
Thunder storms fill my world.
Nothing more important than gold..
People around,ready to scold...
Life somehow...full of tears..
filled with unwanted fears..
Happiness never permanent...
A smile...still very important...
Faced with more dissapointment..
i find it tough,
to concentrate on improvement...

Solutions-seldom clear...
Problems tho-quite very near.
Gone with the wind are those days of joy.....

No one near to forever cheer...
To very few you are dear....
Encouragement v seldomhear...

But,i have the freedom to fly,
in my very own beautiful sky.
A tiny compromise i made...
Responsibility seems tough....
No more can i ever be a child...
Here i stand...as an adult real new...
Ready to give my life
its own beautiful hue.

The Rebirth

From an old blog.. :D
The heat frying me
each passing day,
I try to keep
my emotions at bay...

Somehow cool,
from the inside..
I am at peace
with myself..

The shower of love,
washes away,
all hatred inside..
A rebirth i've had,
this summer....
killing all,
dark monsters in me..

The brightness of love,
chases away,all the darkness around.
A friend in need,
to really help,
and forever care,
i found...

In that love,
i gained my ground...
For each door that closed,
a window i found..
For each tear shed,
a day of happiness
i gained..

All the sorrow
i brooded over,
seems so insignificant..

Thank you
dear friend,
just like u,
each second i live,
my love,
i shall give...
to those who need..
and crave for it...

Words

Another old one.I guess on the same lines as the previous poem.

Rock hard
i felt,
had i a heart...

Nothing could ever
hurt it anyway...

Words of hatred,
heard i one day...
filled with hatred,
anger and jealousy...
uttered by friends so called.

Oh! but not to me
not to me...

Happily they give
a smile real fake..
Easily,
sentences of praise they pile...

The minute
i move away,

Lines and lines
of hatred pout..
Mistakes too many,
they can find in me...

Flaws innumerable,
so simple
for them to see...

Behind my back,
they have a knack
to say what they think
i lack.

Broke these did
my heart one day...

Tears i shed
for even
that rock
really bled..

Fake smiles,
false words,
worthless cries
of encouragement..

Are these what
I've got for my feelings true??

Cowards i've found.......
too many in number..

There are few,
still too true..

Oh! Is this what
balance is all about?

Real friends who care,
who cant forever bear,
even the tiniest tear...

Few they might be..
but still to me they give
a will to live
and loads
and loads of confidence.....

Reality

Just an old poem i wrote.It was in my other blog.Since i have decided to have just one blog,here it is.

Words,words and words are all I hear
meaning they do give me..
but I don’t want to comprehend..
I don’t..i really don’t..
somehow I cant seem to accept
simple reality.
simple very simple reality.

Thought I was surrounded
by friends-so loving..
Happy I was in my private galaxy
where things never go wrong..
words never scar hearts..
where love and affection
reign supreme

Eyes met..lips spoke..
but not the truth…just not the truth!
Heart to heart talks..
Those long lovely walks…
mirrored I thought plain acceptance
and that beautiful relationship..
everyone calls friendship.

Confident and satisfied,
I stood and looked
at a life filled with joy…

Wiped away these words did
my smile
an illusion was what
I’d always had..

Fake smiles and false hopes…
Words too many-
Seldom were they genuine.

Stood I that day
and a friend came my way
Unintentionally she uttered
a few words said by
So called friends..

Words…words…and words..
that’s what they were..
Plain words..
Force they had to
Knock down the tallest mountain.

Here I am..wiser than before..
Only after my heart tore…
My soul nursing a sore..

Takes it just a moment to speak
causes it does scars that run-
Real deep.very deep.
Friends many- they seem too
Hardly a handful true…
Search I do for a clue
Pointing to those few

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Chameleons and Homo Sapiens

I have always had this strange thought that human beings are part chameleons.Whenever i observe few people they somehow blend so much with the crowd that the whole gang becomes one entity. They laugh at things they never would when alone.Talk dirty and ooh and aah dumb comments.SOmehow losing their own identity.
Maybe the need to belong and be accepted seems more important than the need to exist as an indiviual.The few characters blend so much in them that it becomes their new habit.Eventually an old one.
I was analysing my favorite subject(me) and trying to find out where few characteristics came from.I was surprised that i did have few things in common with people i cant stand.I am a chameleon afterall.Just trying to be a pathetic one

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Mask

she was used to it. this familiar, soothing silence. The silence that gave her a feeling that nothing in the world existed except her. Nothing that really mattered. The silence that made her forget the pending assignment. The silence that comforted her soul and that way her body too. The distant screech shook her out of her slumber.She woke up unwilling to leave the comfort of the soft bed. Unwilling to face the unforgiving day. But then, she had no other go.

She had this wierd habit of looking at herself in the mirror as soon as she woke up. Maybe she felt to make sure she was not wearng any mask. Pretence, one thing she scoffed at.Sometimes, even she knew she was brutally frank.Getting by with the daily formalities, she proceeded to the bus stop, lovingly looking at her two wheeler parked outside. She loved the bus rides. Or rather, the comfort offered by the number of people who surrounded her. Each with some sort of worry. Each trying to battle his way out. Life afterall, is all about survival of the fittest! Looking at them, she knew she wasn't the only one with problems in life. The pessimistic her often mocked at the supposedly optimistic thoughts that once in a while crossed her head.

Reaching her desk, she browsed through the important life or death messages in her inbox. Somehow, her friend's heartbreak interested her no more. She reflected as to how unsympathetic she had become over the years. None gained her sympathy. Even the other day,she had had a tough time controling her laughter when radha was crying over her relationship with her teenage son.

People thought Sowmya had a pacifying face. She hated that deceptive look on her face which brought all depressed people in the neighbourhood to her. Be it that irritating five year old with her lost puppy or radha with her teenage son. Ravi walked into her cubicle with that useless impish grin on his face. Now, he never cribbed. She secretly welcomed his visits. He got her a cup of her favorite iced tea. Some advantages in being the managing director of a firm. You could get iced tea the first thing in the morning. She started rifling through the folders for the day. A formality she knew. Seldom was there anything wrong in them. Not that her employees were all that trust worthy. They were too scared of making any mistakes lest her father spot them and throw them into some nasty corner prison cell.

She was packing her bag that evening. All set for the capital. Her father wanted her by his side. He felt it was time she started taking over his empire.
Anything but marriage. Deciding to turn down all suitors. She reached her fathers house the next day. They still had her childhood room as she had left it some five years ago.

"We have a party in the house today evening" her father said as she came down for breakfast. She knew she was expected to act the role of a princess. Smiling at every familiar face that walked past her. The charming hostess handing down all the dishes carefully prepared by someone else.Accepting compliments and gliding past gracefully. She had stopped complaining about it long back. It was another part of her existence.Just like her bus ride.The party that day was grander than the many she remembered. Rahul was talking to her about his europe trip.

She was done for the day." I hope you like him." Her father was right behind her. She hadnt noticed him." You make a nice couple. This June would be an ideal time to get married. Youd be acquainted with the business by then." He left to send someone off before she could reply. Casting it aside as a mere whim of his, she went to her room and slept.

The car was down by the time she was done with the breakfast. Her father hated buses. No use trying to go alone in one. "Waste of time.These buses." She could still hear him turning her idea down the last time she was home. He led her to her cubicle. She was surprised to see another chair next to hers. "Rahul will be with you.""I thought that you two get better acquainted."She decided to convince her father aganst their marriage.
She argued with her father that night. An unsuccessful argument.She resigned herself to her fate and went to her bed.
A decade later,
Rahul was getting ready for the party that night. Sowmya had just then come down, all set. He was happy with his life. A very beautiful and rich wife. With such a pleasant attitude.He loved the smile that lightened her face always.Little Adarsh came running down the stairs.In his typical questioning tone,the little one asked,"Dad,why doesnt mom never look in the mirror?"
For the first time, Rahul noticed a peculiarity in his wife of almost a decade.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Acceptance

I was just browsing through orkut. Glancing through the different communities. I was saddened by few. One glorified Hitler's actions as correct. They even went to the extent of comparing Jews to muslims and saying that they should be eradicated from India. I love my country too. What i really think is that the greatness of India lies in her diversity. The mere fact that people whose cultures are so different, live together infact quite happily. Hitler was very intelligent. There is no doubting that. But he was a person who was ruled by hatred and the thought of vengence. Hatred when it rules a person causes nothing but destruction.
I realised recently, that hatred stands out for a longer time. I remembered many unpleasant memories rather than pleasant ones when i thought of few people i have met. I too am ruled by hatred. I was dissappointed in myself and decided to conquer the hatred in me. I am scared of the effort required. But i know that is what needs to be done...
The message that love can conquer everything is as old as the world itself.. But i somehow feel, it is not love for fellow beings that is the need of the hour. I feel its acceptance and an effort to understand someone whom you actually hate or someone you love.