Tuesday, October 30, 2007

One way

A walk it was to be
a pleasant one
down memory lane
The initial mist
the sweet smell
floating around
in the air
refreshing.. soothing.
those few initial steps..

The smoother the road
the tougher the step
Flowers! Oh flowers
they were
in the garden of love..
Pleasing the senses
invigorating the body
and also the soul
But then..
Flowers do wilt
when kept for long
and the dormant thorn
raise their ugly heads..

Oh! Those moments!
The smiles..
The playful tears..
shed of
hours of laughter..

Oh! Why dint i know then?
Why do i know now?
For all great things
do really pass
Sometimes.. to simply disappear
so completely
that the mind doth doubt
how real they actually were
Did they ever exist?
Or was it just
a figment of imagination
of a very fertile mind?

Some linger
as always..
steady.. Not absent..
but then..
not present..

The same steps
that lead to heaven
lead to hell

But then..
Heaven or hell
are mere masks..
Masks that alternate...
for everything is just
a mirage
a mirage so real
A mirage, one wants
so badly to be real..

Lost in the desert
one labels life,
This mythical oasis
doth seem like a savior true..
Little good does it do
but distract the mind
for nothing permanent
comes of it
but a disappointment
deep.. very deep..
leaving behind a scar..

The closer the peak..
the deeper the fall
the greater the wounds
But the mountain of happiness
and acceptance
seems very inviting...

A mirage it is
a mirage so real
that no mortal can conquer
I cant conquer..

Sometimes, the word impossible..
does not seem to be
so unbelievable..
Anybody trying
to recreate moments special
will anyday accept

I hastily retreated
away from the lane..
the very inviting lane..
The painful walk..
oh not for me!
For hearts can be tender
Now i know, mine is...

With a heavy heart
I planted a no entry sign...
It is just a one way
i never want to wander into..

For one cannot
run forward
while looking behind..
I just sat for a few minutes..
Regret i cannot..
The road ahead
beckons me..
To embrace it
and create memories-anew..

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Happy birthday anu!

I always love birthdays! The wishes, the new clothes, the yummy food. Last but not the least, proof of a year well lived and many more to come.. Today, it is the birthday of my very special friend anu..3 years, we have known each other. Really happy to have an awesome person like you for a friend.. Happy birthday. may all your dreams come true.. now and forever..
P.S...This snap of hers is my favorite. :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Beautiful lyrics.. thotti jaya..

uyire en uyire ennavo nadakuthadi
adadaa intha nodi vaalvil inikuthadi
O.. oru nimidam oru nimidam enai nee piriyaathe
enatharugil nee irunthaal thalai kaal puriyaathe
.. nijam thaane keladi ninai vellam neeyadi
.. nadamaadum poochedi nee ennai paaradi

ithu varai enggirunthoom ,,?
ithayamum unnai kekkurathe
penne engae marainthirunthaai
ennul eppadi nulainthu kondaai,,?

unakulle olinthiruntheen
uruvathil uthiramaai kalanthu iruntheen
unnai unakke theriyalaiyaa..?
innum ennai puriyalaiyaa..?

... naan sirithu magilinthu
silikum manathai nee koduthaai
.... naan ninaithu ninaithu.
rasikkum kanathai nee anaithaai.

enggeyo un mugam naan paartha njaabagam
eppotho unnudan naan vaalntha njaabagam

uyire en uyire ennavo nadakuthadi
adadaa intha nodi vaalvil inikuthadi
O.. oru nimidam oru nimidam enai nee piriyaathe

enatharugil nee irunthaal thalai kaal puriyaathe

.. nijam thaane keladi ninai vellam neeyadi
.. nadamaadum poochedi nee ennai paaradi....

unnudan irukkayile ..
.. nilavukkum siragugaL mulaikkirathe
ithuvarai naanum paartha nilavaa...
ithanai velicham kodutha nilavaa...aa?

unnudan nadakayile...
en nilal kandamai mariyathe
munne munne nam nilalgal
ondraai ondraai kalakkinrathe

.. nee pesum vaarthai serthu vaiththu vaasikkireen
un suvaasa kathru moochil vaanggi suvaasikkireen

. .. nijam thaane keladi ninai vellam neeyadi
.. nadamaadum poochedi nee ennai paaradi.

uyire en uyire ennavo nadakkirathu
adadaa intha nodi vaalvil inikkirathu

O.. oru nimidam oru nimidam enai nee piriyaathe
en arugil nee irunthaal thalai kaal puriyaathe

enggeyo un mugam naan paartha njaabagam
eppotho unnudan naan vaalntha njaabagam
..thaara..thaara...ratha rathathara thaara....
... naan vaalntha njaabagam ..


It landed
from nowhere
on his hands
Dark.. mysterious
he no entomologist
but he..
he knew..
it was a leech
The insect
that drains your blood
the insect that drains
your energy..

In a frenzy
he searched
like a man possessed
for a fire
Ah! the last stick
in a used box..
with all his energy
he tried
again and again and again
to light..
again and again and again..

His efforts.. alas!
were in vain..
one last time
one very last time..
he tried..
The flame
lightened his life..

the leech clung on
sticking to its last hope..
the last refuge..
hoping the small flame
would not kill...
or did its ego
make it feel bigger?

The flames crept up
slowly surely
they burnt it..
It fell down
better off dead
all hopes broken
all dreams crumbling
and looked up at him
eyes filled with pain..

"Better you than me"
he said
and walked away

Thursday, October 18, 2007


The breeze greeted him
Caressing his tears...
Was it consolation?
But why did tears flow
more so?
The cold water
that splashed
on his face...
Why did it sting?
His every step..
The pain..
oh! why was it so?
On a cold winter day
He was hot..
hot all over..
and he was cold..

With each whispered word
with each silent touch
oh! How beautiful had the world been!

The mirror cracked
when he looked into it..
Children ran away..
scared of the monster
the monster that he was
the monster
that he looked like..

It was pity mere pity..
not something divine..
Why oh why?
The broken pieces
fluttered in the wind..
Familiar they were
the pieces
of his broken heart..

Scared he was
that they would scar
a passing stranger..
He carefully collected
the pieces too many
Assemble them he could not..
For few pieces
were still missing..
Still with her..
She whom he loved..
She whom he wanted..

Walked he did
searching for his maker..
Had he too shied away?
Had he too run away?
For woe it was he felt..
Woe at being
so undesirable..
Woe at being
so unimportant..
Staring at the sand..
the sand that bore her footprints..
The sand.. he treasured..
holding it close to his broken heart
the sand that cemented it

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Chicken soup for the soul

A must read book for everybody. For those who have not read it, check the community in orkut.


The conquest

It slithered- silently
down the beautiful lane
lonely, all alone,
Lovely, to look at
mesmerizing, charming
a charm that entertained...

Too taken up was he
to notice the dead grass
that marked its path
Too carried away
by its beauty
to notice the breath that killed
to notice the mouth
that spit venom
to notice the eyes
that mesmerized
to merely strike
strike for pleasure

He came near
to merely hold it
this being so dear
the sparkling eyes
gazing deep into his
spellbound he stood
unaware till the strike

He gasped in surprise
defense.. he thought
and breathed his last
still... in love

It slithered away
towards a new
unsuspecting conquest
looking back
at the many
lying lifeless.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


She held it in her hands..
her possession so dear
Recalling the pain
the pleasure she felt now
The pain she had undergone
before she had reached it..

Now, all she had
she had ever wanted.
For a moment,
She left it unguarded.
oh! it disappeared!
the very hand that had
helped her get it
held it now..
Mocking at her..
with eyes ablaze..

Was she the mere instrument?
The instrument that helped reach
an end so different
so vastly different from her dream??
The end.. filled with hate?

She merely shrugged.
The journey...
her travels..
her memories..
Hers and hers alone.

The prize she sought
was just the wrong one.
For what is yours
cannot be taken away
the greatest force fails
when it covets
for something..
not its own.

She set out
on a new travel..
all alone.
For the warrior never gives in.
The warrior also knows
when the battle is over.

A story i wrote for kids. :D

Once upon a time, in the city of banglore, lived two nice children called Uthara and Keshav. They had a house wit a big garden. In the garden, there was a rose bush. One day, Uthara saw two butterflies sitting on a rose. Naughty keshav was playing with a balloon in the garden. The balloon burst near the rose bush! The butterflies flew away. Uthara ran behind them. They sat on a tree trunk. A little squirrel chased them away. They sat on a stone. Their pet cat tom scared them away. They entered the house through the open window! An excited uthara ran to her mom. "Amma Amma Two butterflies came into the house!" Amma said "Go find out where they are." Uthara ran into the play room. No butterflies. Were they in the kitchen? No. The maid shooed her away. Were they in the bedroom?? No! Uthara opened her cupboard to make sure they weren't there. Keshav came running. "Uthara, Uthara, come lets watch power rangers!". An exhausted Uthara went to the hall. Oh! Who do you think was sitting on the globe on top of the television? The two butterflies! "Amma! Amma! Come soon"screamed Uthara. Amma opened the window and sent the two butterflies away!.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


My friend was just telling me about to a visit to an orphanage. That set me thinking. Here are kids who are deaf and blind. What am i doing usefully with the senses i have? I don't know. I am just thinking.
I take this moment to be happy with what all i have and seek to hone them rather than complain.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


Brilliant lyrics. I just love this song. (As someone remarked, I know i say that about every other song...:))

smile an ever lasting smile

a smile can bring you near to me
don't ever let me find you gone
'cause that would bring a tear to me
this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

talk in ever lasting words
and dedicate them all to me
and I will give you all my life
i'm here if you should call to me
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

Monday, October 08, 2007

Broken wings

She saw it far away
the bird that had
a wonderful song
The song she loved
The song she had wanted
all along.

She chased it
her desire giving her wings
Magically, she flew
She flew
she flew
tiring herself...
Finally catching up

It turned
oh! what was it she saw
there in its eyes
Nothing but pride!
The chase of hers
had created it.
In her frenzy,
dumb girl, she was
had not noticed
the song was reduced
to a cackle.
Laughing it was at her
Laughing at her desire,
Laughing at her love
for its song..

Alas! Her wings broke
she fell down
deep into the valley
of fear,loneliness and sorrow..
the long forgotten song
echoing in her heart.

Friday, October 05, 2007

The seat

This was definitely the end of the world. Hers at least.All that she had ever worked for. Her work, her trials, her sacrifices, 20 years of her life. It was all over. One setback. All these years, she had taken everything. All her dark clouds in hope of one silver lining. But this rejection! She could not take it anymore. She was tired of it all. Tired fighting alone. She remembered the pills. They were there, safe from prying eyes in her bedroom. The table by her bedside.Her one companion-constant,silent and stable. She trudged wearily to the terminus.She quickened her pace as she neared. The quicker she put an end to her misery the better. The faster she ended it all, the better. Nobody cared about her anyway. Not even him. He who had created her in the first place. Her presence or absence dint matter. It made no difference in the world.She was just one among the many.

The bus was almost rolling out when she reached the terminus. On a normal day the optimistic woman she had been, she would have waited for the next bus.Not today but. She was in a hurry. A hurry to end it all. The kiss of death.She was a coward. Jumping in front of a moving bus to die, dint catch her fancy. What if somebody saved her? What if she was not killed but just wounded? Crippled, for life? What about the people who saw her? Their disgust? It would not matter anyway. Not where she was going. Her cowardice and fear won over in the end. The painless way out was anyday better. The pain, never could she bear. She avoided it. Always. She ran behind the bus hoping to catch it.

In college, it seems a long time ago now. She had this lab once a week. There was a glass plate in her place. It had fallen down so many times. Never broke but. One fine day, it just slipped from her hand and fell on the table. A drop of merely an inch. It broke into pieces. Her teacher mentioned something about fracture mechanics. She never could follow the jargon anyway. To her, the glass was like human beings. They accumulated all the hatred inside themselves. A minor incident would let out all of it. She had watched relationships end over seemingly minor issues. Always the spectator.

Wasn't she in a way the glass now? Bigger falls she had survived. This minor one was breaking her apart.No use thinking about it now. It was too late. Funny how quickly thoughts cross the mind. She had been running behind the bus thinking. The bus screeched to a halt and the conductor impatiently waved her in. Another woman got in with her. One of those nameless faces that was there everywhere in the planet. The ladies seats were all occupied. "Great!An uncomfortable journey. The last one anyway!"She was looking around the bus. Staring at the faces she saw. Memorizing them. The lady who had gotten in with her got a seat. She was motioning her to come. She dint move. The lady waved impatiently. She walked and took the window seat offered and murmured her thanks. She watched the sky. The clouds parted and the sun shone with all his radiance. Suddenly, she felt this warmth within. A reassurance that all was not lost. It was a mere gesture.But one of affection. From one stranger to the next. He had created all of them. His presence. She saw it in the sky. She saw it in the stranger. He did care. In his own way, he was showing her his presence. What if the publisher had found her work of five years plain crap? It was maybe, an indication that she should work on her next novel. Or maybe one to show that she should search for a new publisher. It was his loss for all she knew.

Her misery, this suffering, this pain,they were to test the glass. But then, she realized, she was not the glass. She, was a diamond. Ready to withstand all the pressure. The clouds that had threatened a storm disappeared. She reached home and started her next work.

Thursday, October 04, 2007


I used to keep a diary once. I was very regular. The fear of people reading it was always there. I started writing in some code which only i understood. But then, nowadays, i stopped. Now thanks to blogger, i have my own private blog. Its hardly been two days and i have been posting like crazy. The fact that none can read it and none will judge is such an outlet. Though i seldom really get affected by what people say, having a blog all to myself to write down whatever i think is great. I am loving it. Of course, flaunting it to myself at least. :)