Monday, September 29, 2008


This friday and saturday i was in the Kabini River Lodge. We had gone there on an offsite. It was a wonderful experience. The place was so beautiful. I dint have the heart to leave it and come back.

Forest Safari and the River lodge

Morning boat ride

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Lost innocence

My dear little girl
where are you now?
Lost in the cruel world
the world that squeezes out
the life in you?
Where is the innocence
that i saw in your eyes?
All i see now is hopelessness
Has knowledge given it to you?

Why did eve fall?
Why did she forsake paradise?
Paradise i saw
reflected in your crystal clear laughter
I see you smile now
A smile that doesnt reach
up to your eyes
A smile that is just
a mere twist of the lips..
My sweet little girl
do you ever really smile now?
Why is this despair
so prominent?

With wealth comes happiness..
Oh.. do you remember how it felt?
To be carefree
To feel with all your heart?
To see the sun bounce off tree tops
To see the stars shine down
showcasing their joy to u

Were the wise men true afterall?
are best things in life really free?
I wonder..
I really do.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Why are you an idol?
Just a mere idol
an idol to which
i cant talk
An idol completely
out of touch
with my world
An idol that
can never recognise me
for what i am...

Why are you still so fascinating?
Is it the fascination
borne out of sorrow?
The fact that
you can never be mine?

The heart longs for the unattainable
But what good is this longing?
Solutions-it does not offer
Comfort-it does not give
Seeds of hopelessness
it sows in me..

Hoplessness so uncharacteristic
Hopelessness weighing me down
every day of my life
A hopelessness i shed this instant

Sans hope no life i desire
The golden thread holding
many souls together
The beautiful rainbow
The life giving elixir..

Hope i substitute
the hopelessness with.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Idol worship?

An idol
on a high pedestal
oh! I stare at it
Spell bound by its perfection

Somewhere i am sure
exists a flaw..
I search very carefully
spending hours gazing at it...
It mesmerizes me all the more

Oh! How i wish it were mine!
How i wish i knew it better!
Where did it come from?
What is it that it wants?
Why is it here?

A mere look sends my heart flying
away and away into a fantasy land
so far away
A mere imagined look..

How i wish it were mine!
Who created it the way it is?
I see people pass it by
without inspecting it closer..

Relieved am I
Its my idol
and mine alone..
A passer by stops
to look at it

I hold my breath..
"The head is not shaped well"
She tells me..
relief! Pity floods my heart..

How could she fail to see
How could she?!

I gaze at it fondly..
Its mine afterall
to admire..
I just wish..

i wish and wish..
Its mine forever
to love and adore
and learn from

Lessons on humility
lessons on life..
Lessons.. just for me..

Perfection in poise..
Perfection in everything..
is what i see..
I who could never see beyond faults..

Widened horizons..
Thanks just to it..
Is this what they call love?
Or is it just idol worship?


I see you smile..
I reach out..
Move my hand back
afraid you'll notice
afraid you'll know..

The pleasure in this fear..
Oh i have not words to describe..
Wish i could churn out
miles and miles of poetry
and dedicate it to you..
Watch you read it..
and smile..
Oh! Just smile..
Wish i could see all that you do
through your eyes..

Wish i knew who you are
for what you are..
I just wish
You do know all that you inspire..
or shouldnt you?

What do you think?
What do you seek?
what is it
that makes you tick?
Wish i know..
Wish i am the something
you seek..

All wishes i ever had
Have somehow come true
Trade them all i think
for just knowing you..
For possesion i dont want..
As thoughts of you
just do..
compensate for everything..

Just knowledge i seek
of the one person
who makes me feel alive
of the one person
who makes me feel
like a 3 yr old..
tiny lost
and oh so gullible..

A word of praise
A word of affection
Have i do all stored away
in a tiny corner..
What is it that
you see me as?

The question i want answered..
do I really now?
I know not..
I wish i knew my thoughts better
I wish these endless wishes
someday end.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Tagged by archana madam

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I would forgive him. :) I think real love is all about forgiveness and acceptance.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
hmmm.. I wanna go on a world tour and eat stuff from different parts of the world. This is a dream that can come true.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
hmm.. Thats difficult. I have kicked people as and when i wanted. :D

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

I wanna open an orphanage.. after i go on my world tour. :D(charity comes after oneself.)

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

I dunno. I have never thought about it.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Loving someone. It makes you feel alive.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

Till i am bored of waiting! I cant wait forever right?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Find another person to secretly like. :) There is no dearth of people.

9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?

Someone who fits the role.

10. What takes you down the fastest?

Lack of food.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

Perhaps a published writer working in a good company or an MNC. Perhaps married to a guy i want to live with.

12. What’s your fear?

I am afraid of the dark. Sometimes.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

An ultra conservative and modern mami.(sorry archana.. couldnt think of anything else. :D)

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Rich and single.The suitors would easily follow.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Reconsider whether to sleep again or to get out and say hi to the world. :)

16. Would you give all in a relationship?

I frankly dont know.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

Tell me who the two are. :)

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

Forgiveness is easy. Forgetting. NO. :)

19. If its your last day and you have one call to make, whom would you call. Dont tell me your mom. Someone else. (Original qn:What are your three most important expectations in love )

Ill call this friend whom i have stopped talking to. Just to say goodbye. (so that i never need to talk again anyway)

20. List 6 people to tag:


Monday, September 08, 2008


The freedom it gives
The loving winds of change
caress her face
All her worries gone...
Can soothing whispers achieve so much?
The weightlessness of it all
Oh! The pit is bottomless
There she falls!

"I see an ending!"
she tells me
as i try to catch her..
"Its not so deep
you see...
you cant understand
its love for me.."
Oh! the pit is botttomless
She slips right out
of my hands
"Its so pleasurable
I no longer am
who I was
oh! The changes
that come in me!"
The pit is bottomless
I scream as i bend to catch her..

"My dreams!
There they fly away!
Away and away
What dreams were they?
Why were they there?
Ah success!
Thats what i wanted..
Here it is in my hand.."
She grasps at the empty air around her..
I hear her go on..
I lose her voice
Oh! The pit is bottomless!

I cant bend further..
I cant stop screaming..
I hunt for a rope...
It aint so late i hope...
She refuses to catch it..
" this is my home now.."
She tells me
going further and further down..
So far away..
Yet so near

Her voice continues to haunt..
The guilt in my heart..
"Oh! Where did i go wrong?
Why did i let her fall?
Why? Why? Why?"
I scream to the skies..
My endless rope
extends into her pit
Here I wait
for a tug...
Hopefully not for eternity
Why is the pit bottomless?
Alas! I wish the despair
disappears soon!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008


I was just wondering as to when we will ever stop wanting. Everywhere around me i see people who cant stop wanting(Add me to the list too)The endless cycle of wanting something and not really appreciating it for a long time after getting it is something that i feel is not at all healthy.Maybe human beings survive due to constantly wanting more.(can also be interpreted as by constantly being excessively greedy.) But is the new thing one wants ever going to make one really happy for a long time? Is it going to change a person's lifestyle so much that they can never want anything anymore? I dont think there exists one thing which a person wants that after getting it, she/he would say,"I dont want anything anymore. I am really happy with life." Is there such a thing?

I have always wanted things with all my heart. I am overjoyed after getting them. But after sometime i end up seeking something else. I have taken this resolution (a tough one for me atleast) To not want something unless i need it absolutely and to appreciate what i have. (including getting a cab driver who cant drive) I wish i can keep up this resolution for a week at least. I am convincing myself that I dont want anything. ( I am just hoping that i dont claim i need something exotic and go ahead and get it just cos i dont have it and i think i should.) For the most beautiful things in life go unappreciated all the time.