Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Aish had put up a video of the BITS - Pilani music club in facebook. Though i usually dont spend my time on the net watching videos, I did this time and became quite nostalgic. Though i always claim the best is yet to come and also propogate the fact that i DONT miss BITS, for those six minutes, i did remember a lot of things from the 4 carefree,peaceful years spent in a small village in a desert.

The audi, the high enthu in the music nights in our first year, all of our (unsuccessful) efforts at decking up, the comical moves of mine i termed dance, the headaches after headbanging,

Compre preparations, the long walks in and around campus,endless cycle rides, the temple, CEERI,Shiv G , Library(ideal place to sit and chat),my experiments with cake baking, the peacocks i could see all over the place, my (or rather data's) cycle,

Meera Bhawan, the wing allocations,the hour long dinners in the mess , Cnot, the insti(i mean the building not the classes. I missed them even then. :D) esp the FD2 QT, all the numerous crushes i had.. (:D i dont even know where those guys are now),APOGEE robots, OASIS night outs, Med C make up appointments, Akshay

Sharmas mango shake, Redi Rabdi, Mess rasmalai, Nobles Kaju curry, Greenfields Roti, The panipuri thatha, Bluemoon shakes, IC chai...

The tensed placement days, long hours of illuminated souls chattering,Numerous wing trip plans, Jaipur, Jaisalmer, Bikaner and Jodhpur, to Pahadi that i never climbed, Panchavati, Sarson ka keth, Gliders club, 1234, 6313,5212,6305,1205.. rooms i haunted,IPC!pathetic Pilani net,Sky, The sky dog(I am an animal lover. :D),the long bus/train/bus journeys(mdu to chennai, chennai to delhi, delhi to pilani)
All those wonderful people (whom i am so happy to call friends btw.. i dont intend to repeat this line too soon. :D) the most awesome place in the world introduced me to and most of all to the carefree irresponsible me(Carefree now yes. Irresponsible NO!) :)

A post dedicated to all of this and the many other things i have not mentioned because words are too inadequate (or maybe i just forgot. it was only a six minute video. :D)

And yes, i still believe, the best is yet to come. :)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Meaningfully meaningless

For all that was and never will be
For all self immolated dreams
For all those moments of a joy so pure
For all their memories which haunt
For all that could but never would be
A few words are all that are penned

With a string of letters
Meaningful yet meaningless
A one sided conversation i carry on
Unreal desires tempt me to involve you
Unable to discard them,
My scarred remains i look at
and easily hold, emotions at bay,
For new scars want i not..
Words that effortlessly inject, poison into the soul
Better left unprovoked.

The mind questions a tired heart..
What are words to a ear that cannot hear?
What are tears to a heart that cant feel?
A lonesome song escapes my lips
Here i stand,torn between two hopes
One, praying for a solitary note
to reach you someday
But.. Is it pity I want?
Will the pity last
when life throws curved balls?

A stronger hope,wishing you'd come
without knowing i implore
to claim what is yours now
before it is too late
for tomorrow it might cease to be
Or maybe, it will always remain
a valueless valuable

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Garbage truck

Got this in a forward mail. Brilliant insight into life

One day I hopped into a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call "The Law of the Garbage Truck." He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


My attempts at photography from the highest level of the tirukoshtiyoor temple. :)

Yes the orange streak does fascinate me a lot. :D

Ode on a Grecian Urn - John Keats

Thou still unravish'd bride of quietness,
Thou foster-child of silence and slow time,
Sylvan historian, who canst thou express
A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
What leaf-fring'd legend haunt about thy shape
Of deities or mortals, or of both,
In Tempe or the dales of Arcady?
What men or gods are these? What maidens loth?
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?
What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy?

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter: therefore, ye soft pipes, play on;
Not to the sensual ear, but, more endear'd,
Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone:
Fair youth, beneath the trees, thou canst not leave
Thy song, nor ever can those trees be bare;
Bold lover, never, never canst thou kiss,
Though winning near the goal - yet, do not grieve;
She cannot fade, though thou hast not thy bliss,
For ever wilt thou love, and she be fair!

Ah, happy, happy boughs! that cannot shed
Your leaves, nor ever bid the spring adieu;
And, happy melodist, unwearied,
For ever piping songs for ever new;
More happy love! more happy, happy love!
For ever warm and still to be enjoy'd,
For ever panting, and for ever young;
All breathing human passion far above,
That leaves a heart high-sorrowful and cloy'd,
A burning forehead, and a parching tongue.

Who are these coming to the sacrifice?
To what green altar, O mysterious priest,
Lead'st thou that heifer lowing at the skies,
And all her silken flanks with garlands drest?
What little town by river or sea shore,
Or mountain-built with peaceful citadel,
Is emptied of this folk, this pious morn?
And, little town, thy streets for evermore
Will silent be; and not a soul to tell
Why thou art desolate, can e'er return.

O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with brede
Of marble men and maidens overwrought,
With forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral!
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty," - that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

A beautiful poem i have been in love with for a long time. I dedicate this post to Varun, thanks to whom i was able to reread it. :) (I wasnt threatening you. :D )

Friday, April 17, 2009


I was talking with Sagnik for a long time today. We were discussing obsessions and we concluded that
  • Obsessions obsess you so much that you are convinced you cant last without them for a minute
  • You are obsessed because you want to be and not because there is no other option
  • Sometimes you analyse the obsession and zero in on exactly whats wrong with it. But then, the beauty of the whole thing is you decide to go with whats not wrong with it. For after all,it is worth a try. :)
  • Everyone is obsessed with something
  • Once you are over it, you fail to see what captivated you so much. :D
  • And most important of all, everyone has to be obsessed with something at some point in their life so that they can appreciate the emotion. It is one emotion that cant be explained.
  • Whatever happens, happens for a reason. :)

A post dedicated to rocktaves, Oasis 2005 and yes most of all to poetry. :)

A love song

From the symptoms that abound
I can state love is in the air around
For hours do conversations last
Worries aside the minds have cast
Beautiful smiles light up the soul
For now there is someone
to make you whole
A new being you become
Forgetting where you come from
For now, you are finally home

A home created by loving hearts
Inimitable by mere four walls
A place for refuge
from pressures that surround
for comfort, hope and joy

This wonder called love
I now believe in
For the proof doth rest
right in front of my eyes
I did learn from you
that dreams do come true
A silent prayer i now chant
Asking the almighty to grant
all your wishes
said and unsaid

Sunday, April 12, 2009

12 angry men

I chanced upon this movie thanks to govind, who was kind enough to lend me his dvd collection.

The plot is as simple as it is complicated. A 18 yr old slum boy is accused of murdering his father. A jury of 12 men are given the task of judging him. In the initial vote taken, only one juror,(juror 8) says that the boy is not guilty. He does this, not because he completely believes it, but because he thinks that the boy should be given a chance.As it is a murder trial and the sentence is death, the jury's decision has to be unanimous. So they decide to speak and convince the one man that the boy is guilty

The story proceeds with one person after the other, presenting his argument as to why he thinks the boy is guilty.The juror number 8 tries to explain why it could be otherwise.Thats when you see such beautiful character analysis. The ratio of votes (guilty : not guilty) changes after each voting. You see indecision,confusion,hatred,prejudice and of course anger in each of the characters.

The most wonderful part in the movie, according to me, is how everyone sees something different in the same story. This is where the fact that different views make a complete picture is portrayed.The old man in the jury explains how one witness could have not been speaking the truth.The juror from the slums explains why the wound that caused the death could not have been caused by the boy. Just two examples of the many where I saw how different people can effectively contribute towards a common goal.

Prejudiced Perceptions. Thats something the director has brought out remarkably well. You see an angry father, who has been wonded by his teenaged son. He is convinced that all teenagers are violent and that they are quite capable of murder. There is also one man who has a prejudice against those from the slums. One is a little shocked by how little value he places on a human life.

For those of you that havent watched the movie, i dont want to spoil it for you. So i am not revealing the plot any further. I am sure that those that have would agree with me that this is a movie that has conquered time. :)It set me thinking and this is what i have decided after hours of contemplation that human beings havent evolved much in the last 50 odd years. (Thinking i can do only for a little while. I am an ENFJ you see)

Saturday, April 11, 2009


I was listening to him after a long time today. He used to be my favorite when i was in school. After all these years, i have listened to better singers than him but he still manages to entrance me. Apart from his voice, I guess i like him because of the good music and lyrics in most of his songs. (I am a biggg sucker for romantic songs in any language) kai thatti thatti azhaithale.... Sigh..
Tamil is a beautiful language. Srinivas a nice singer

If Tomorrow never comes...

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

Friday, April 10, 2009


This is what i want for my bday!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Its better

Its better to be:

  • Silent than say things you never mean
  • Inactive than do things for the heck of it
  • Happy than try to change what cant be
  • Anti-Social than put up a fake smile to please someone who doesn't notice it anyway
  • Irritating than be irritated

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

The end

The signboard blinked in the distance. He sped towards it, pausing just for a moment to register the number that it indicated - 200km was all that was there to go.He zoomed forth, noticing that the rod in his speedometer,whose technical name he had forgotten was touching 100. He would call it a pointer in his mind, this white rod that told him how quickly he was heading towards the end. The speed was a mere number that did not mean a thing to him. The air blowing in through the window transported him to his huge bedroom, reminding him of the breeze that blew in through the window ,near which on the wall hung a degree, calling him a mechanical engineer. Another lie, a combination of words that represented nothing to him. He had once been so elated about being an engineer that he got the degree framed as soon as he got it. Now it just signified years of effort that had been useless.All that he could recount were the name of one or two courses.

"Maybe i remember only what really counts" he thought. Trying to forgive himself, had become his recent hobby. Forgive himself for the lost years, the lost dreams and the lost relationships.There had been so many things he had wanted passionately, dreams he had dreamt for years together,that were no longer a part of who he was.They just seemed quite meaningless to him. In his search for happiness, he had lost himself to his desires and then ultimately lost his desires to time. It came back to him in a flash. The image he remembered to the smallest detail without having a photograph to his aid, the very one he had been trying to remove from his over loaded brain. It was of the first day she had walked into his life with her dyed and styled hair and those long earrings. Always floating,his magical girl never walked. He felt he was peeping through a heavy mist and watching a stranger, who just resembled him a little. He no longer was anything like the man that he had been.

Everything always came back to her. She had been everything he had wanted. Smart, funny and oh so happy! For someone who took life very seriously, spending time with her had been a refreshing change that was not meant to last.In an attempt to erase her memory, he pressed the accelerator harder.He felt that all that he ever had now was this speed, which just like his life did not mean anything. She refused to go away from his mind, though she had found it so easy to walk away (without looking back), leaving him behind with just a few memories. No.. He couldnt call memories that haunted him every living minute few. The red light in the distance morphed into a bindi just like the one that always decorated her forehead. He could see her calling out to him from the darkness.She was telling him she regretted everything and that it was only him she had always loved. The honk of a passing lorry woke him up from his dream. He skidded to a halt just in time and avoided hitting it as it flashed by in the crossing.

He looked up to see a sign board, another one of the multitude that decorated the highway.This one advertised a happy home and a happy life, things he knew he could never have despite the millions he had. His thoughts went back to her. The days they had spent discussing their dream house.All the money he had saved for that was now just mere numbers in his bank accounts spread across different countries. Without her, everything was lifeless and useless. He saw lights in the distance decorating a bungalow, in an attempt to showcase someones happiness, they were wasting electricity.The varying colors of white,green,light blue and yellow flickered as if to remind him of his colorful girl who no longer was his. The girl he had lost to his busy schedule. She had left him as he never had any time for her and he did not notice she was gone till it was too late.He sped into the driveway slowing down finally to park his car

"The groom has come" He heard his sister scream. His mom came down to greet him. He walked into his house, the day before his wedding with some random stranger whose name was all he knew and all that he had to know for this arrangement of convenience. Here was finally someone who would worry if he did not eat on time and who would ensure he looked presentable, atleast for a few years till the charm of being married, wore off. He could escape his mothers ceaseless nagging with easily faked happiness "You should have come earlier" His relatives told him. He smiled. A smile that did not reach his eyes but one that was more than enough for them.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Love Sonnet XVII -Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so close that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so close that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep.