Sunday, January 31, 2010

GOA

I braved another tamil movie in the theatre today. GOA! I did not expect anything of it. Just hoped it would not make me want to run madly in the roads after watching it. Maybe, because of the low expectation, I had an awesome time. A very hilarious movie. I loved the digs the director took at older tamil movies. Jai looked smart and did a decent job. I liked the puns in the movie. I guess I really prefer humour to the dark tragedy or reality movies doing its rounds.
Mindless comedy anyone can enjoy. I especially loved the trio's attempt to talk in english. :)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Awareness

I am watching one more of those so called reality movies and I wonder what is the damn need to spew so much of violence and crudity on the screens. They show gang rape, mass murder, bombings etc. I don't mean to say such things don't happen. But showing them on screen in a graphic manner, doesn't really solve the purpose. How is it going to help the victims? How many of these so called movies that mint money by helping the rest of the world see the truth, actually do anything for the victims? I hate watching violent and depressing stuff.

I feel it does not solve any purpose. Does that mean, i am immature and don't want to accept reality? I know what is happening and no matter how graphic the depiction is, nobody can feel the pain or the sorrow a victim went through. The movie makes money and yes, people claim to be aware and some just discuss it over and over again. Oh! Do they really do such things? But how many of them try to do something and not just speak? I just wonder. I dont want to watch such things. Given a choice, i would rather sleep. I want to create a difference. A difference that is not going to come by mere talk and an awareness that fails to reach out to the needy.

Of cocoons and seas

One more month is almost down the drain. My calendar in lotus notes says Day 29, 336 days left. I know there would come a stage when it would be Day 336, 29 days left and it would come by before these 29 days can sink in. Time flies. A cliche that keeps doing its rounds. Now it has found its way into my blog also.

I have a weekend staring at me in the face and i wonder what i am going to do. I am not out of ideas. I want to go bowling, play a few board games,hog home cooked/outside food and of course watch some brainless movie(s). Right now, Goa is the one in my to watch list. I really don't know what to expect from this movie. After the disastrous Ayirathil Oruvan, I really hope this movie is a good one. January has been a month of disappointments in a few avenues. I have been ranting about it time and again directly and indirectly. I know its high time i woke up and started re-evaluating my life in a lot of ways. Anybody who has been shaken awake from a comfortable sleep knows this feeling of being "slightly awake but not yet completely ready to face reality". I am happy to have atleast reached the slightly awake state.

There is something disturbing about comfort. I can see a few raised eyebrows. (I love imagining them. Please. for my sake. :D) The thing is, when you are comfortable in or about something, you just sink into the cocoon and don't notice the world racing by. However, change is something you cannot escape and when it shakes your cocoon, you are thrown out and land in a deep dark disturbed sea, only to be swept by the currents in opposite directions. You dont know which direction to swim in as the fact that you are out in the open sea takes sometime to sink in and you might almost end up sinking. Somebody who has come close to losing everything would be ready for a fresh start and so of course in a way this helps you recreate your life. The initial shock of being in the sea might kill you though. Then you would not live to regret living in your carefully crafted comfortable cocoon. You might live to regret your lack of foresight or live to thank the storm that shook you out and gave you a new cocoon. I dont know.

However, i have decided to fortify my cocoon and have a life boat around. Just in case.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Living on the edge

There is something very captivating about living on the edge. You never know when you'll fall. I can imagine a lot of raised eyebrows and a few immediate judgements from all the know it alls who are convinced i am into drugs. Well, It is not true. Anyway as usual, though curious about public opinion like a normal mortal, i decide to disregard it. For trying to listen to them implies i intend to change what doesnt please them. Since i have no intention of morphing my personality to suit the needs of everyone, I ignore it. If i only hear, it might give them a notion of my listening so there is an issue there again. I guess i shall have to leave it at that. I am sure there is someone out there ready to argue that I am not ready to change myself towards the better. Well, again like a normal mortal, i want to be perfect and I cant exactly love you for saying i have too many imperfections.

I believe in change. Change for the better.
I believe that no matter what, i am my best friend.

And yes, what i wanted to say was, as captivated as i am by living on the edge, i realized i don't. I am on stable ground and i actually like it. Stability is a wonderful thing. Like the hope it helps you to get and retain.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Classifications of an unclassified mind

I was sitting and thinking today. I just thought id spend some time classifying people around me. I agree people are very different. But they are also very alike. :)

Type 1 : They work really hard. They are too scared to give out what they want as they arent too confident about getting it. They are characterised by the jealousy they exhibit on seeing someone, who they think is intelligent. Something that pulls them back and prevents growth

Type 2 : They are confident that they are very open minded and can accept things the way they are. No prizes for guessing, they actually aint what they think they are. In their process of being frank, they wound more than just an ego. These are those that applaud what happens in sitcoms and movies because they are different. But refuse to acknowledge those who in real life dare to follow their heart as in a way, they are eternally confused and in the process of finding an identity

Type 3 : This is a little like type 2. But here, though, they are open minded to how the rest are, they are not when it comes to accepting their own faults. They are quite pig headed when it comes to blatant criticism and just run like crazy. Away from all possible issues

Type 4 : These are the perennial acceptors. They accept whatever life throws their way and are too scared to dream as their dreams might not happen. They are in a way very idealistic and optimistic and it is quite easy to get along with them. As long as they believe in their philosophy, these are actually the best people to be with.

Type 5 : A very interesting psychotic, megalomaniac. Who doesnt like power? But then, they think only they have the right to wield it. :D

Type 6 : Extremely idealistic and practical. Very difficult to deceive them. They make you see the truth no matter how clouded your vision is

Type 7 : Those that keep talking about the rest of the world as they are scared of the limelight that might fall on them. Frankly, no grace to handle it and the perennial fear that someone might be doing what they do to the rest of the world to them.

Type 8 : The eternal dreamers. Quite disconnected from reality. All they see is their dreams and the illusion of life they have carefully constructed around themselves. I sometimes admire these people for atleast, they are happy

Type 9 : The ones that always try to be happy. No matter where they are and whom they are with. They just try to lighten up the place and spread humour around. In a way, santa claus. You cannot expect intellectual conversations with them though. Doesnt suit the type.

Type 10 : The wanna bes. Who are trying to figure out what they want to be. :D

And funny thing is, each of us at one point or the other, feel like one of these types. I haven't elaborated all the types i thought of for i am quite sure, it would all seem alike. :)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Change

I am lost in thought. Which is nothing so unusual when you come to think of it. It is something that happens all the time. I was browsing through pictures and the music directory in my laptop. Then, i accidentally stumbled across an old diary. Where i had detailed my spending a few minutes on the phone with a friend. I was so happy then when i had a heart to heart talk with a person whom i am barely in touch with now. My recent call list, except for mom, contains people i met in the last 19-20 months.

Struck with guilt, i started talking to a friend and realized we did not have too much in common now. True, we could talk. But the connection that was there had disappeared. I don't know if it is only with me or if that is how it is with everyone. You lose what you had and search like crazy everywhere to no avail and find it in someone/something else. It is cruel in a way. If what/who we were looking for, is still looking out and waiting.

Today, i realised that i was the one waiting. For perhaps the first time in my life i found out that in a lot of ways, I havent moved on. No. Dont get the impression of me sitting and moping in a dark corner waiting for people to come and seek me out. Please. It doesnt suit me at all!

I am waiting only because sometimes, I seek approval and i still wait for relationships that have lost their sheen long ago to start shining bright. I expect people who hardly know the new facets of my personality, or the new things in my life which lead me to take a few decisions to accept me. Isnt the need to be accepted human nature? As usual, I am defending myself. It has become my favorite hobby of late. In my conversations with my alter ego.

Maybe, this is a peek into my private life. But then, I am not talking about a long lost lover. I am talking about friends I thought I still have. I guess it takes a level of maturity to accept that something is dead and gone and move away completely to new, greener pastures. Even if the green is an illusion, it is something we can seek. Unless there is continuous fodder and attention, very few strands rooted in the heart can last. The others just die and rot away and prevent the growth of other new strands. It is always better to uproot them and throw them away. For you cannot give life to something long dead. And yes, the same old cliche. Change is the only constant in life.

Taking care of dead things is not my style and I am glad i had that revelation today. In the middle of nowhere. :)

P.S. On a completely unrelated note, listen to Owl city. I am lost in the vanilla twilight. :) Dont try psycho analysing this piece of information. I am just listening to that song right now. :)

Melodies heard and forgotten

I was listening to Savage Garden which lay in a forgotten corner in my computer, today. I was taken back to my days at Pilani and my initial days at HSBC when i used to listen to these songs. Now times have changed and it has found a place in the past i seldom revisit in memories. For a few minutes today however, i was back in the corridors of meera bhawan listening for the first time to my then favorite band in my room mate's tape recorder. I dont want to say i would give anything to get those days back. That is too melodramatic and definitely doesnt suit me and yes, I dont want that back as i am happy with the present. But still, a part of me likes to relive pleasant moments. I used to sing truly madly deeply so often and haunt the corridors of 5th block.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain.. I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever, until the sky falls down over me

Oh! It seems like so long ago! I am so much older and yes, definitely wiser now. I know that i would call my current self young in sometime. I know I would not think the same way about some decisions. Hindsight is sometimes, a curse. I dedicate (music night style) this song, my eternal favorite, affirmation to those days long gone, when i grew up to become a little of the woman i am today

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye


I just hope i dont have to say goodbye to realise the value of things i have now. I hope i dont have to cling
on to stuff that are better of being thrown away. I hope i get the wisdom i now seem to be seeking.

I hope I can live, love and forgive all with the same ease and all with the same grace.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The missing minutes

I frankly dont know how time flies. I woke up at the usual 10.30 types today and after trying to while away time with call after call i look up at the clock and see it is 4.30. Where did the 6 hours go? Is there some secret sieve somewhere through which minutes when under utilized disappear when I am not looking? I really want to know.

Now i have less than 48 hous of what i had planned to be a productive weekend. I decide to do something useful and start writing. Then absolute power corrupts me and i convince myself it would be a good idea to watch it and do a movie review. So again i go back to laze.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Preaching

I have always wanted to write things about areas i am passionate about. Rather, areas i think i am passionate about and feel strongly for. Like the lack of access to primary education for a lot of children, the depletion of our environment thanks us being too busy to care, the many millions suffering from hunger while the rest complain about being obese, how it is easy to be a wannabe than a real person, the pains of growing up every body at every age group faces etc etc.

Every time i start on such a topic, i stop. Not because of lack of ideas but because i feel i have no right to talk. I mean, lets be honest. Talking is one of the easiest things a person can do in this world. All the bull shit about talking things out to solve them doesn't go well always. Most of the time it stops with just talk. Preaching is so easy!

I do not underestimate the power of words. Sometimes they happen to inspire millions. I am thinking if many of my articles which haven't seen the light of the blogging world should be published now. I am not too sure. I am just lost in thought. That seems to be my theme for the week.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

One more untitled

Ok. So here it goes. Gyan at its very best. It all started when i was thinking about what I am doing with my life. I thought of the big to do list i had, filled with things i often dream of completing and often want to atleast begin. Then i realised that there was only one problem with all this. My best friend fear. Most things in life dont even begin because i am afraid of failure and of course incomplete jobs.
I guess for someone who has most of the time got what she has wanted, failure is a huge fear. I believe in luck and hard work. I thought i was running out of the former. I was quite disgruntled and disgusted thanks to the bad luck i seem to be running into since July last year. Then i realised, there was one piece of good luck which more than made up for all the so called bad luck. I am happy when i think about it. When all the self imposed torture tries to drown me, I reach out for the one definite source of acceptance and comfort. I become calm and i realise I am not alone. I know that I am loved and cared for no matter what i have or not have , no matter what i achieve or dont achieve.
I am now going to begin one process I have been postponing for quite some time now. Every time i stop, scared of failure, I reach out and get a hug in return. Whether i am angry or whether i am happy or sad. I dedicate this post to another love of my life.
My cell phone with its post paid connection. Thank god it is so cheap!

Monday, January 18, 2010

"It takes all kinds of people to make the world" A very wise person told this to me today.

Taken at face value, the sentence is not that great. I mean, it does not use big words. There is nothing puzzling about it and of course, there is nothing new in it. But then, as always, the simplest things are the most profound.

I needed a fraud to realise the value of someone who is straightforward.
I needed a heartbreak to appreciate love
I needed a traitor to see how valuable a friend was
I needed a bad day to enjoy the good one
I needed a pathetic movie to appreciate a good one

I know most of you might not agree to this. But then, this as usual is what i feel.
And yes, I dedicate this post to hard disks, Ipods and of course patience. Thank you.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Truly Ayirathil Oruvan

It all started with my dear Preethi telling me about a tamil movie whose trailer she felt was impressive. Considering the fact that she is difficult to please, I decided it would be a good one. So i ended up dragging my room mate at 10 on a saturday morning to this work of a genius. Ayirathil Oruvan is an overly hyped, extensively cheap, partly interesting (for a tamil movie, a few scenes were tolerable) and completely digusting work that has come out of a distorted mind.

Usually, selva raghavan's movies have a few decent songs. This one, even the one nice song has been picturised so badly that i had to try very hard to not puke. The first half starts well. A team of archeologists aided by gun men and a group of horrible labourers go hunting for a missing archeologist who got lost trying to find an ancient chola kingdom. The team contains an over sexed reema sen and the archeologists so called sad daughter. The first half is a mix of a lot of english sitcoms and movies. This definitely show cases how original our man can be. But I guess I forgave him for that once they entered the lost city.

We were the only ones laughing in the theater in a supposedly scary scene when the threesome go mad on entering the 7th obstacle (Oh there are supposedly 7 obstacles they have to cross to reach the chola kingdom)

From now on, I am going to reveal this brilliant plot, so all those idiots who want to watch this piece of **** do refrain from reading further.

Parthiban is the king of the lost chola kingdom. The cholas are very "realistically" shown in a pitch black color. Their customs are depicted in an almost barbaric manner. I am someone who adores the tamil culture especially the architecture of the cholas. This wannabe hollywood ass tries to show the tamil guys as barbarians who come up with horrible dances. I want to make him sit through a presentation of the real Chola culture. Then, he would shut up for good.

We lose track of the initial story of finding the missing archeologist in Reema Sen's supposed seduction of the king. It beats Simbu and his seducing skills in Vallavan. Another scene where i tried hard not to spill my guts out is when madam tries to dance barathanatyam. GOD! Please GIVE ME A BREAK!

The missing archeologist is finally found and then, he is saved by our hero. Awesome scene! Seriously. Beats Vijayakanth movies. I thought Karthi was cute till I saw this movie. He must have been out of his mind to agree to act in something like this. The climax scenes are gross and demean the military men. Does Selva Raghavan think people in the defence forces are so starved? Why did he have to show such scenes?! I was saddened to see a few kids in the theatre. Please please dont take kids along. Their idea of history would be completely contorted.

One of the hilarious scenes in the movie is when Reema Sen dresses up as a Pandian descendant. OMG! I dont know. Calling it pathetic would be an understatement. If this movie becomes even a remote hit and if the producer breaks even, I shall never forgive people who acknowledge such scumbag movies to be good.

Oh I forgot one of the highlights of the movie. Andrea and Reema Sen swearing at each other in English. Swear words pouting out of their mouths and the hero standing open mouthed.

Never watch this movie. Atleast not in theatre. It is not worth the money you would end up spending on it and it is definitely not worth the time. I am sure that dulha mil gaya would have been a better watch. And my dear Selva Raghavan, you are truly Kodiyil Oruvan (One in a crore) who would be better off in a theru kodi without so much limelight.

Friday, January 15, 2010

I know

I know that I love myself no matter what
I know I have come a long way
I know the future is uncertain
I know that life changes in a few seconds
I know that who you are decides what you become
I know you can change who you are if you want to
I know that life is more about living than anything else
I know that today is all i have
I know that what i love today need not be what i love tomorrow
I know that you my friend might leave me any minute
I know that time is a man's best friend
I know that opportunity knocks twice
I know that love is always around the corner
I know that however, it is easier to hate
I know that a single sentence can spoil beautiful essays
I know that the unexpected things are the most dangerous
I know it is more dangerous to keep expecting something horrible
I know that even if storm clouds gather, underneath, the sky is still blue
I know that all it takes to tide over a bad day are a few affectionate words
I know that most misery is self inflicted
I know that happiness and prosperity come when you least seek it
I know that it is impossible to not seek the two

A few things i learnt in the last two decades of my life.
Today, we celebrated pongal in style. I have been quite grumpy lately and thanks to my room mate, i was able to shake it off today. We made 7 varieties of rice, vadai and aviyal and hogged it.

Sometimes it is music, sometimes it is the people i talk to , sometimes it is a good book. But food, always soothes me in a way nothing else can. :) All my restlessness is a little subdued today. This post is more of a note. I wish you all a happy pongal.

And, I thank everyone who put up with my wailing. I really owe you guys one. :D

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Non existent Philanthropy

I have a lot of uncollected, unpenned thoughts in my head. I want to get rid of them. I wish it was as easy as using shift+del in my laptop. Sadly, it is not. The human brain, despite being a much more complicated device than a mere computer does not have this facility. Memory seems to be a gift i sometimes think I am cursed with. There I go ranting again like a 70 year old who has seen too much of life. I am as usual deviating from the title of the blog. I guess it should read, also about Non existent Philanthropy among other things. Think about a man who knows there is a diamond in the rubbish heap. He would hunt for it, for its value. Sadly, I doubt if anyone thinks of anything in my blog to be valuable. Except for a psychoanalyst. :D

Anyways, now I am not going to deviate. Philanthropy is something people seem to love talking about it. However, recently, i have come to feel that it is almost non existent. You never do things without wanting anything in return. There always seems to be something you achieve out of every action you do. So, at the end of the day you are not doing anything for a greater good. You are doing it to be remembered, to do something with your time. In what you consider has the world's approval to be a noble cause. If anybody takes offence to this statement, i sincerely apologise. Even if you are doing something because it is the right thing to do, you do feel happy because you do it. You do get something out of it. At least simple happiness.

I feel 2010 might be a screwed up year for me. Things haven't been going too well and so, today, I pledge to the noble cause of making myself happy. Things that have my stamp of approval. I refuse to call myself a philanthropist. I am self centered and yes, selfish. I would do things that make me happy. If the world thinks it is something great then well and good. If not, at least, i would be happier. For, it is pointless trying to make the rest of the world happy at your expense. :)

P.S. I am sure there are those that would want to curse me for my blog. Believe me someday, you might thank me for it. :D

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The light conflict

There is now a conflict happening between my two alter egos. The optimist and the cynic.

The optimist firmly believes that at the end of the tunnel, there is a light. One that is very strong and bright enough to lead me out. I see very slight hints of it at the many existing curves and I want to run madly towards it. I walk slowly, assured by the hints I get. I refuse to change my direction for i know for sure the light would see me through.

Now my cynical self is convinced that the light does exist, but it is not a ray of hope for that is something born out of an imaginative mind. In reality, it is but an approaching train and I better head faster in the opposite direction. Life might be crappy, but i would definitely be alive. The hints are like food particles placed in a spider's web for an unsuspecting fly. A tragic train driver, is waiting for a good kill.

I wonder which one to listen to. As always, the optimist wins and the cynic just claims that I would come to my senses one fine day and then, there would definitely be a "See I told you so" moment.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Relationships

Subbu asked me to write about relationships. I wish i had it in me to classify relationships into different groups based on the strength and the bonding in it. Over time, one thing that life has taught me that, there is a certain level of bond that you can share with someone. But there is definitely no guarantee that it would continue to remain so. The best and the worst thing about life is how easily things change over a period of time.

You grow up, your friend grows up and then, you are stuck with someone you hardly know. Or someone who is so childish and immature that you dont know what to do with that person. Unless both people grow up together, there is no scope for continuity.

Then, there are relationships which help you become a better person. Any relationship that does that, is valuable and beautiful and lasts long.

In my life, i have at times been really bad at judging a relationship. I dont judge my friends. I dont care about how crazy they are or how weird their ideas might be. I am sure people find something lacking in me too. But, what i am bad at, is in deciding whether a person is my friend or not. In the recent past, my decision to call someone a friend has landed me in a soup. People who I havent called one, have come to my rescue as in reality they were those that were always there.

A lot of times, someone you can talk to is mistaken to be someone you can trust. There is a huge difference between the two. This happens mainly because, when you talk, there is nobody who is listening. People selectively process what they want to hear and ignore the rest. They judge you based on that and throw a sentence that would completely shock you and leave you cursing your big mouth. I have to thank a few people who have stood by me time and again. I am lucky to have them and I am really grateful for their acceptance even if not their understanding at times.

As i was saying a few sentences ago before i started wallowing in self pity, when you trust someone just because you can talk to them, there is going to be a lot of trouble. That is another relationship. I can talk anything. But i cant trust you because you cannot accept me for what i am. You prefer my flaws.

Everyone has flaws. There are two types of flaws. Those that you cant live with and those that you can. In any relationship, it takes quite a while before you can figure out what you cannot live with. As funny as it might sound, I have realised it is true. I am glad i realised it atleast now. Last weekend, i spent a lot of time evaluating relationships. Not the people. But the relationship. I ended up sending a few sentimental mails and calling up people who i thought mattered.

Relationships are not like a mirror. You do not only see what you give.Sometimes you do not give anything but get a lot back. Sometimes, you give a lot and get nothing in return. Seldom can you find a balance. The balance that keeps the world going.

Then there are bottomless pits into which the more you put, the more you are asked for. People are often deceived by the innocent looking hole and once they decide to satisfy it, they deeper they get in, the more difficult navigation becomes. They lose touch with who they were and get sucked into bottomless pits of self pity.

There are those with whom you dont have to keep talking. A call once in a while and you immediately reconnect. What has happened in your life becomes immaterial. You are glad for the minutes you get. I love such relationships. I treasure them and the moments spent together with such people.

Last but not the least, the form i am the most scared of, are the bonds you create when you are troubled. When you feel all alone. You get comfort from the understanding you are confident you share. Once your troubled times pass, you find nothing negative to discus and dissect and it disappears. This is a dangerous thing and it ends up hurting people not ready to move on.

I have a few more ideas in mind. But I am not able to organise the same. My mind is a blur and all i want to do is sleep. I guess I shall continue this sometime later.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

On the Wing - Owl city

I love this song. :)

Breathe and I'll carry you away into the velvet sky
And we'll stir the stars around
And watch them fall away into the Hudson Bay
And plummet out of sight and sound
The open summer breeze will sweep you through the hills
Where I live in the alpine heights
Below the Northern Lights, I spend my coldest nights
Alone, awake and thinking of...the weekend we were in love

Home among these mountain tops can be so awfully dull
A thousand miles from the tide
But photos on the walls of New York shopping malls
Distract me so I stay inside
I wish the rockets stayed over the promenade
Cuz I would make a hook and eye
And fish them from the sky, my darling, she and I
We're hanging on so take us high
To sing the world goodbye...

I am floating away
Lost in a silent ballet
I'm dreaming you're out in the blue and I am right beside you
Awake to take in the view
Late nights and early parades
Still photos and noisy arcades
My darling, we're both on the wing, look down and keep on singing!
And we can go anywhere

Are you there?
Are you there, or are you just a decoy dream in my head?
Am I home or am I simply tumbling all alone?

Questions and lack of answers another meaningless title

All of us want to be accepted.
For who we are.
For things we do.
For ideas we harbor.
For dreams we create.
For emotions we have.

Why do we so hate to be shook out of our cocoons of comfort? To have ideas questioned? To be antagonized? I personally am at a loss. Sometimes, though i initially hate it, I embrace change and adapt so fast. I forget what the past was like. Then there are other times that i so detest change. I guess those are times when something i hold dear is threatened. It can be just a simple idea I had about something not too major in my life.

I dont want to be melodramatic and say that it hurts all the more when somebody i trust does the questioning. It is not true. But then, in a way, it indicates a failure that shouldnt have been there in the first place. The failure of a simple, beautiful thing called trust and my inability in communicating an idea or an emotion. I guess life is all about moving on and not placing undue importance on anything for at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason and then I dont want to sit and ponder about the mysteries of life right now.

And yes, as grumpy as I might be at times, I do know that just because somebody doesn't believe it, the truth cannot become a lie.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Lost in fresh water

I was drowning. The water was covering me from all sides. I did not know swimming. I remembered reading the newspaper report that there were droughts all over the country. Then, where did so much water come from? Was it real? The suffocation definitely was. I visualised all those swimmers I saw long ago on the television. I tried flapping my legs and hands up and down. My physics teacher was telling me,"A body which is immersed in water would displace as much liquid as the weight of the body." Why dint i seem to displace any? I wished this was a small pool. I could just displace everything and I would come out of the pool. But this was not a pool. This was an endless lake.

My athletic efforts were temporarily rewarded. I came up to catch a whiff of fresh air. But that was all i could get.I was going down and I could not come up. I expected the memories to come. Like they do in all those movies. My mind was a blank. I was not aware of anything else except the water. I was sure that if i survived, i would be hydrophobic. Without being bitten by a rabid dog. That was my last thought as i drowned.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010



Avatar

I watched this movie sometime back. I fell in love with it. I dont know if it was the paradise "PANDORA" portrayed in such a visually stunning manner or if it was the magic woven by the inhabitants of the planet and by this i mean the birds that flew, the fierce animals and the athletic Na'vi. Whatever it was, i was enamored.

The characterization was beautiful. The way Jake reacts when his avatar is able to use his legs, Neytiris moment of decision making when she decides to not kill him but save him, the contempt for Jake that transforms into admiration among the members of the team are but a few scenes i admired in the movie. I somehow felt at peace with the world when i saw Pandora. It is possibly the closest to heaven that i have ever imagined.

Every scene in the movie was artfully made and every character had a role to play. I liked Trudy. The spunky lady just stole the show with her attitude. Jake and Neytiri were ofcourse brilliant, but then, they were Na'vi to me.

I did not have a chance to watch the movie in 3 D. I am just waiting for the right place and the right time for the same. Truly worth a watch.

Monday, January 04, 2010

10 in 10

I had decided not to make any resolutions in the new year. However, this part of me which likes to have an aim, did not like it and so here i am back to making resolutions.

  1. To eat atleast one fruit a day
  2. To avoid conflicts whenever possible. With a temper like mine, it is sometimes difficult to control my emotions when i am provoked.
  3. To keep in touch with those who matter. Atleast mail once a week.
  4. Write the book i claim i have been working on. I have 3 ideas. Should atleast expand on one. :)
  5. Go on a vacation to singapore. :D
  6. Lose 10% of my body weight. (Somehow 10% sounds better than the actual number. :) )
  7. Be positive and happy. Remember life is all about living than grumbling
  8. Get my licence (This is cheating in a way because i know i would get mine. But putting it up as a resolution is a good way to ensure i would atleast get 10% in my resolution rank card)
  9. Reduce eating out. (For someone like me who frequents fancy/weird restaurants 2-3 times a week, this is a toughie. Of course the direct result of this over a period of time would help resolution 6)
  10. Join a gym. Or atleast get exercise equipment at home like mom. (Using it would be the next resolution. Again part of point 6. But this is a long term fitness goal.)
These are the bloggable resolutions and I am quite happy with this list. I shall have a goal tracker each month. :)

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy new year!

My first post in the new year! Happy new year!