Sunday, February 28, 2010

Faith

It is a very strange emotion. Infact i feel the strongest one (after love and hate, but then, you must have faith in them too right?) Today happens to be Maasi magam and I was unaware of the fact and i went ahead with my usual Sunday visit to temple (I do that when i am in Madurai. I love going to temples. The silent, really peaceful ones that is.) Once again, I was impressed by the strong faith displayed by those there. They believed so much in a power greater than themselves and were ready to come to the temple and pray to please their god. I am a believer. I believe in faith and hard work. There are a lot of incomplete ones out there who fail to do the hard work part and expect their half hearted faith to work wonders. I seriously scorn at them. But then, such people are essential for success. For as everything in life is relative, their being below average and shirkers helps hard working smart people to succeed. So again, i believe in him for having created people like this too.

I read " Have a little faith" recently and the book was quite absorbing. I was thinking about temples in India after that. Re-examining my faith that is. The temple in India is such a powerful robin hood! God gets money from the rich and feeds the poor. There are a lot of temples with acres of land in their name. All the revenue goes to the temple and it is used to feed anyone who comes. I mean, amazing right? When i get to think about it, I am so glad that we have such a wonderful structure for ages. Unfortunately, each system has its flaws and i admit that this one, dependent mostly on the inherent goodness in people and the fear of god, doesnt always work. I refuse to stop believing just because all my dreams dont come true. The most important ones do and life is so amazingly beautiful. I admit i have more than a little faith. :)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Knowledgeable communication

I have realised over time that there are two aspects of communication. One is knowledge and the second is transferring it effectively. This leads to 4 groups of people.
  1. Those who know what they are talking about and talk really well.
  2. Those who have no idea about what they are talking about and yet keep talking for they have the gift of gab.
  3. The poor souls who are quite knowledgeable and dont know how to communicate their knowledge as they are lost in their own world.
  4. And finally, those who can neither know anything nor can talk.

As with everything in life, both the parameters, knowledge and communication are relative. But in a world filled with tongue tied individuals I am getting tired of the few who keep talking without knowing too much. I wish the others start talking soon! I really hope i know what i am talking about. :D

P.S. I take this oppurtunity to apologise to Mallik for having offended him yesterday. Sorry!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

An address

The year is 2000. January to be exact. I am home from school and I sit in front of the computer at home. Dad walks up to me and watches me type a long detailed mail to a pen friend. He beams and says, "So finally you have learnt how to navigate in the internet" I had an email id for a year then.

The year was 2005. May to be exact. I had come home from college and I was sitting in front of the computer in dad's office. Dad walks up to me to talk and sees the screen. There are 7 open chat windows. He stares at my typing and asks me, "When did you learn to type so fast?"

The year is 2010. February to be exact. I am home for a weekend and I am sitting in front of my lovely laptop writing furiously in my blog and simultaneously arguing with a friend in voice chat.Dad comes up to me and asks, "When will you stop typing" :D

I replaced yahoo with google only because gtalk took lesser time to load. I havent stopped typing since 2004. I spent a little time last week reading through old mails and chat logs and today i wonder what i would have done without email. From rediff to yahoo and now gmail. With completely different address books. There are hardly a few in all. Life is funny. How things change. :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

An impulsive pilgrimage

This weekend was a very special one. No i did not do something remarkable like saving the world. I know i am capable of it, but this time, i decided to go back to my faith. (Could be the result of reading Have a little faith by Mitch Albom) I have mentioned at times that i believe in God. On Saturday I had this sudden urge to visit a Narasimhar Temple. Me being the persistent idiot that i am, decided it would be melkote that i would go to.

I convinced a poor friend of mine to accompany me and the wonderful soul agreed. It was a wonderful journey and the temple was so peaceful and quiet. I loved the climb up the huge steps and the majestic idol resting with such breath taking beauty. The view from the mountain was awesome. I couldnt forget it. This was my second visit in the last one year and the trip convinced me of the many more to come. I was also lucky enough to get some prasad from a man who appeared out of nowhere. He gave us such tasty chakra pongal and puliyodarai. Loved it.

I am so glad i was pig headed. I am so thankful. Life is beautiful

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The present past

Sometimes your past decides to confront you. The decisions you so easily made and believed in. The words you let flow and the thoughts you shared. The places you visited, memories from an era long gone. Things you do not even remember. How i wish the present remains the same. You know like everyone can choose a particular day or hours from different days and put it together for a today. If tomorrow never comes to make this today a yesterday. Oh! How beautiful life would be!

Well ok. I am done with dreaming. Getting back to reality, I really dont want a few perfect moments that never change. I so believe that the best is yet to come. :D So no matter how awesome the present is and no matter how much i dont want to let it go, I know that the better future beckons and i do want tomorrow to come. :)

P.S: The line If tomorrow never comes is used. :D

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Footprints in the sands of time

Ok. Picture this scene. It is 11 in the night and a tired individual is sitting in a car. There is a construction happening in the road and the headlight falls on a construction crew worker standing all alone in an orange uniform under the bridge he is working on. There is a lost look in his face and he redefines the word tired. The eyes are sunk in, he looks very fragile under the mighty construction. Now I owe this post to this guy. He set me thinking. I thought about the many bridges all over the world. There are a few whose pictures are sent across as architectural marvels. You might know the name of the engineer who constructed it. Wait a minute, designed it. But we can hardly be expected to know the names of the individuals who worked day in and out for measly wages to effectively construct the same. Labour, nameless labour. I wonder about the thousands who built the pyramids. Their work lives on.

Somehow, today the word team, makes me remember them. Everyday, i wonder what mark i am leaving behind for the future. The footprints in the sands of time. Today, this guy got to me in a way no book or movie ever has. Him standing there just pricked my ego balloon. If everyone wants to be an engineer, there is no bridge to be built for there is the need for someone to do the dirty work too. I realised, everyone has their own place in this wonderful universe. If mine is to leave behind a mark, i would. If mine is not to, then that doesnt mean i wont work hard. I still would, for my place in the universe is to continue becoming better at what i know best and finding out what else i can do better. The whole world is in that way, a team that works together for some purpose him up above wants us to. Just want to know what it is.

Of endless days and nights

I hate falling sick. More so sitting at home. But then last two days both happened and i am wondering where i went wrong. As much as i am self centered and spend most of my time thinking about myself, I still fall sick. Sigh. I hate it. I am just thankful it was nothing serious. I dedicate this post to lata and her awesome cooking that kept me going. :)

In a strange city where i have no family to take care of me if anything happens, I am so glad I have her. I wish I can be as caring. Thank god for friends. Thank god for everything. ( For those that dont know, I believe in god. With all my heart. :) )

Oh btw, the two days in bed led me to finish three books. :) I am eternally grateful to the person that got me those books. :D (My alter ego that convinced me to buy books though i had decided not to.)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Networked

In the era of social networking sites when friendship is just reduced to a word uttered as part of a line to increase your network ( yes, i am referring to the many make friendship with you requests i get per day) I stop to ponder the meaning of the word. It does not open a huge tank of memories to me. I mean, i dont associate that word with just a person or a group of people. I look at it as an emotion I sometimes succumb to.

As the number of sites are eternally on an increase, the number of attempts to really keep in touch are definitely on a decrease.Nowadays, I know what my once best friend is upto based on the pics he puts up in his facebook. My conversations with my childhood playmate has been reduced to a how are you doing in an orkut scrapbook.How many of us really know why a person who sits right behind you is not at work today? Or how the so called people you are in touch with are really doing?I mean about their real issues, real dreams and real thoughts?

Can overflow of data actually be called information? Being the analyst that i am, i have seen cases with a lot of data and no tangible results and cases where a little data can tell us what is the actual picture. Can these online communities replace the real bonding that families share?

How well do we actually know our networking neighbours? I am wondering about this question. From the day i signed up on facebook i get loads of messages when somebody comments on my status or likes a pic i like. But in reality, apart from that one mail in the inbox the person is as huge a stranger to me as he/she was the day before. It is so easy to be someone else. I have read enough blogs to distrust so called strangers in the net wanting to be friends. So much so that i distrust a person i know as it is more probable that his/her real nature is never known.

Disclaimer : I am not against networking sites. I like them as much as any young adult does. I just dont like the so called "want to make friendship" with you mails and the "We think alike" line. So much so that when i actually meet someone who thinks like me, i wonder whether they read my blog or went through my communities in orkut.

Monday, February 15, 2010

A whole new world

To hold eternity in the palm of my hands
To watch time fly by
and then see it pause
to unveil joy, ecstasy
To experience what it is like
this breaking down of defences
To live and not worry
about anything else
To forget the consequences
and just breathe in the breeze
that surrounds me..
Breathe in the beautiful fragnance
and close my eyes to horrors of the world

Listen to the happiness in the air
that reverberates all around
Memories of a dead past dissolve
as the waves of beauty lash out
to drive it far away
New moments, new dreams,
a beautiful whole new life
Love,Affection, Trust,Honesy
Stuff only dreams are made of
finally i find
Never to be lost again
I pray to all known Gods
As I hold eternity
in the palm of my hand
and hold close the change i sought
The change i hope
never is taken away


P.S Inspired by a whole new world. :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

My name is khan

I am just back from watching my name is khan. I am so glad i woke up early on a saturday morning for the same. The movie was brilliant and it is so difficult to believe that our dear tear demanding, purely sentimental Karan Johar has directed this movie. True, the movie does have a few emotional scenes, but they werent impossible to digest. I did not like earlier Bollywood movies taken with 9/11 as a backdrop. This one however was really different. It wasnt too melodramatic and the characters were very real. Kajol as a single mom, my dear sharukh as a 'different' person, the children in the movie, everyone had done a good job.

The story line is a little predictable at places and there are a few tear jerkers that neednt have been there. Still, the movie shines till the end. There is no place where you think the movie is bad. I am so glad i adore shahrukh khan. He proves his mettle. A wonderful watch. A movie that also makes you think. Ages since i saw something that made me sit up and take notice. My heartiest congratulations to Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan.

My name is Harini and I am not a movie critic. Just trying to be one. :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Intelligence

I never placed too much value on intelligence. I mean, in school when i saw people not making marks i used to attribute it to their lack of work. I mean, with hard work, anyone can do anything. But then, with maturity, i understood the value of something called IQ. (Which is ofcourse completely useless without a good EQ) I realised that there are people who are inherently more intelligent and find it a lot easier to do things the others find a little daunting. This injustice makes me angry a lot of times. There are so many who work hard to get something and there are a few who just get it quite easily. I really wish there was balance in the world. For those out there about to question if i am intelligent or hardworking, ill say i am both. :D Less of the latter sometimes though. I feel unfair advantages are unfair no matter how much you can justify its presence. :)

Three outcomes in life

A little bit of gyan. What follows has just been a predominant thought in my head. (Yes, the very fertile imagination i have does help me think about philosophical stuff even when i am multitasking.)

It is this. You want something. You get it. Then three things happen.

1. The "Grass is greener on the other side" phenomenon sets in and you start wanting something else someone else got. Nothing anyone says can convince you that you have a good deal. You sit and moon around and wish you were the other person. It is such a painful stage and yes, i pity those going through it. Mind you, i dont mean to say you are jealous. You just wish for something you think is better

2. You examine it closely and slowly start seeing holes/blemishes in it you did not notice before. You start cursing your observation first and wonder how you failed to notice the faults earlier. You wish you were luckier. Sometimes you can be philosophical and say, "The moon for all its blemishes is beautiful" (That is my tamil movie appreciating personality no 123's line.)

3. You are happy with it and adore it long enough till 1 or 2 happens. :)

I just wish the initial part of phase 3 lasts long in most cases. :)

Btw, this came by when i was considering buying a new phone. Any suggestions? Cant take a camera phone to work. So do keep the restriction in mind. :D

P.S. Post title not inspired by chetan bhagat.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Being myself

I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.

In the recent past, I have come to repeat this line to myself a lot of times. Years ago, I used to think it was so easy being myself. Now when maturity has crept in, i realise what a daunting task it actually is. First, you have to describe this myself bit properly. Second, you should be mature enough to accept it and enter a process of continuous self improvement . Now this is very difficult for you really have to be a saint to accept your flaws. Third, Peer pressure, something that affects everyone. You seek an acceptance ( as i crib time and again in my blog)

Finding a balance between being accepted and following your heart and loving your life is sometimes a bit difficult. As usual, i pray for maturity and I pray for wisdom.

I hope I continue making a hundred mistakes and be who i want to be than succumb to the circumstances and become a stranger i see in the mirror. Thank god I am sane.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Happy birthday dad

Today was the birthday of my favorite man. Daddy!

Over the years, our relationship has gone through a lot and now we have reached a state of acceptance. (Come on it takes a lot of acceptance to accept me. :D)

I am so glad to have a father like him. I guess in a lot of ways, most of my traits came from him. (Oh my recent dialogue whenever anyone says anything is ,"I inherited it" Scientific blame game. :D) So yes, here i am back to the post. Happy birthday dad. Have an amazing year ahead. I dedicate this post to him.

An interesting read

I got this piece as a forward mail. Thought i'd just post it in my blog. :)

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Development

Self development. How do you quantify it in such a way that it meets with approval of the rest of the world? How do you get them to see how much you try to make things work? In an effort to get appreciation for an internal growth, do we lose track of the actual growth and deceive ourselves about our so called capabilities?

It is always easier to talk about something as if it means a lot to you than to actually make it mean a lot to you. If i get a certificate from someone saying i have learnt something, does that mean i have? If i dont have a single certificate in my area of expertise, does that mean i am not knowledgeable? Somehow, this outside opinion and all certifications a person is crowned with, fail to amuse me anymore.

I have seen engineers from leading colleges who are such idiots that even an average student from a local college would score higher on the common sense front. The certification of the outside world. I really wish there were better ways to evaluate. I dont mean to curse the system. Frankly, i was lucky because of the system. The reservation policy in TN drove me to perform better and rush to BITS and the good college tag got me an awesome job in recession.

However at times when i am a little less self centered, i wonder about other smart people in the world who are stuck in things not so great just because they did not have the right chance or they were plain unlucky.I dedicate this post to all unsung heros/heroines of their own right who have found the internal peace they sought and who ceaselessly strive to become better human beings.

Thursday, February 04, 2010


Saw this strip and it just expressed my state of mind. :) only here it was 1 in the morning and it was a bond i chose to form and not one i was born with. :)

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Quotable quotes

I just spent a day home away from work after a long time. The few moments in front of the comp and a few of my favorite quotations came up. Dedicated to all that was and ever will be.

I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Getting caught is the mother of invention

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content

You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame

Humankind cannot stand very much reality

Free advice is worth the price

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance

The road less travelled

Does the road less travelled really exist? I mean, how can one quantitatively conclude that the particular road you have chosen to travel by is actually the one less travelled by? Before we get into drawing parallels between the paths we choose in our journey called life and the literal roads we use to get from one physical destination to the other, i want to experiment. I see a dirt road. I am on a car. I get into it happily and claim I am different. I am taking a road less travelled. By a car maybe it is the case. But does it hold good for someone walking? I doubt it. By taking my vehicle into a road not designed for it, am I not risking its safety just to showcase my supermacy/uniqueness? Wouldnt it be better if I just got down and walked? But why would I do it? It would mean sacrificing the comfort of the car and then, when I walk, it is no longer a road less travelled by that mode of transport.

Even in our journey called life, some of us are always ready to boast about how different we are and how unique our choices seem to have made us. However, i always wonder if our difference is only with the immediate group that surrounded us the moment we made the choice. For, there would definitely be other spanning all age groups who did something similar. The television compere of current days can be compared with a person who coordinated dramas/theru koothus earlier. Are we really the unique snowflake we claim to be just because we assume we are doing something different? Or are we unique because our basic personality is? Even if our choices are nothing spectacular? Are all the experiments to stand out and remain unique really worth the trouble?

I am not against experimenting to find what suits me. But I am also cautious for i know there are things inherently unsuitable for me. I can use the experience of others as a guide i can refer to. Going back to the 12th standard days, i remember looking at my french guide, though i ultimately wrote my own answers based on my understanding of the guide. I made a 198 then. I just hope something similar happens in life too. I am not so cut off from reality that i would assume what happened in an exam to be duplicated in something that means much more than an exam. Should i take the road which i assume has been less travelled? Or is that a stupid plain assumption and am i going to be mugged like the many before me?