Friday, April 30, 2010

Gone with the wind

I always wanted to graduate with a black cap in the head and a black cape on my shoulders. Throw the caps in the air like they do in the movies. Unfortunately for me, in BITS, we have a system whereby the last year is spent in internships. The degree is religiously mailed out and that ends it. I am thinking if i should do some small course here and when i finish it, wear a cape and a cap and throw it in the air. :(

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Truth

If darkness is but the lack of light,
Is light just the lack of darkness?
What would light be, if not for darkness?
What would joy be, if not for sorrow?
How worthy is a worthless world
no matter how imaginative the mind that created it?
An illusion only an illusion will be

Convex lenses once removed
have to reveal the beauty that is truth
The passage of time erodes everything away
No matter how majestic and elaborate,
It is the easily invisible weak foundation,
that simply causes the ultimate and definite downfall

The truth, need never bend, need never kneel
need never hide behind the artfully crafted veil
made of flowery empty words..
No matter how bitter,
it is how it is..
No matter how hard,
it is how it will be..
The accepted existence of illusion,
is but a truth, i admit to..
A truth, i never can hide from myself..

Resolve i do however, to never fall prey
to the tempting veil i see,
being made right in front of me..
As always, once you lose something you had, you would realise its value better. :) The lack of internet for a few days and the lack of peace of mind, made me appreciate what i had a week back. I wonder today, if it would be the case that i would appreciate what i have this week some other day. I wish that never comes to pass.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Hotel California

I was listening to a favorite song of mine after a long time. Post dedicated to the Eagles. Some of their songs are AMAZING!

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
this could be heaven or this could be hell
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the hotel california
Any time of year, you can find it here

Her mind is tiffany-twisted, she got the mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, that she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the captain,
please bring me my wine
He said,we havent had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the hotel california
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin it up at the hotel california
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said we are all just prisoners here, of our own device
And in the masters chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab it with their steely knives,
But they just cant kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
relax, said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!

Revaluation

This word reminds me of my 12th std physics paper in the board exams. I'd scored 190 and i was so upset as physics was one of my better subjects. Being the 'obsessed with marks' TN state board student that i was, i immediately applied for getting a photocopy of the paper. I found out that they had not corrected a particular part and applied for a re-evaluation, unfortunately, to no avail. I was stuck with the 1172/1200. I was a little happy as i was able to go to Pilani and mom was joyful that i was not going to be a computer science student.

Today, i revisited that moment. If i had got the extra five marks, i'd have got a different course altogether and for all i know, i wouldn't be where i am right now, knowing the wonderful people i do and working in a positive and employee friendly organization, living the life a lot of people dream about. (For a change i am looking at what i have and not what i dont.)

Maybe, things would have been better, but i do know that this was not something i envisioned for myself. This state of joy, i have attained is also partly due to the 5 marks i did not get some 6 years ago. I wonder how many such instances have joined together to make the picture i am seeing right now. Life, after all, is like a jigsaw puzzle. There are just too many pieces and we would never be able to see the complete picture until they all fall into place.

A few days ago, i was considering myself jinxed. A lot of things in my life were just going completely haywire. Today, i am not so sure about it. I am at times a hopeless optimist and i seriously feel that right now, everything that disappeared when i was just about to catch it, every dream that went down a bottomless drain, was just a part of the jigsaw puzzle. A small piece was made out of the broken heart that i put together later. Everything happens for a reason and if we pause to re-valuate our lives, identifying disappointments, all of us would see how things we have right now have been shaped by what we lost and what we never had.

I expect a few people to complain. Well, even i do at times. But when i look at what i have and forget what i don't life just seems too beautiful.

Monday, April 19, 2010

AgaiN

Finally, i did it! I just hope it is what it seems like. I am moving for the third time in 23 months. Sigh. So many surprises! I wouldnt want life to not change though. I believe changes keeps one's interest in life alive. :)
And, i just hope i get the house rental agreement by today.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Heartbreaking Hunt

Househunting without a broker in koramangala is
1. Tiring
2. Futile
3. Irritating
4. Tanning
5. Frustrating (Which is different from tiring and irritating and futile and is only a combination of the three. :D)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Awakening

After hours of relentless slumber i awake
My mind conscious but still not aware
Like a seemingly directionless cloud
blown around by the manipulating wind,
I drifted towards a distant thought
A conscious unconsciousness
A painful numbing of all possible senses

Stemming from dreams
that refuse to disappear in the storms of time
What has to be done
Need not necessarily be loved
and what is loved in a dream
Need never happen
in a constantly disturbing reality

The manipulating breeze whisks past me
and i slowly look out
of the window.. Which direction is it that i face?
Is that the setting sun I see
Or is that the sun rising in all its glory..

Not equipped with the knowledge
I shuffle around in the light
blinded by the very rays powered to kill or create
I close my eyes to map out fool proof plans
for instances i imagine, knowing fully well
That those whose existence i identify not
would someday come forward to leave me speechless

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Bewitched!

I am referring to the 1960s early 1970s serial. I am seriously bewitched. It is so funny and nice. The main character is a witch who is married to a mortal. I love her mother who is probably one of the most well crafted characters I have come across. I am not one to watch TV serials. I have shunned F.R.I.E.N.D.S and HIMYM but i am charmed by this one (numb3rs too but thats also because i like David Krumholtz :D)
I guess I should thank the bangalore weather for me rediscovering my childhood love for this sitcom. It was too hot for me to venture out this weekend and i spent a lot of time streaming and watching bewitched. HAIL YOUTUBE!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Love

I know it was only yesterday.. But i already miss you so much! I never thought that i would reach this state of dependence and attraction so soon. I mean, we have known each other for years and i have always liked you. However, I was unprepared for this level of attraction. Is this what they call love? All those secret interludes for fear of being seen by those who know me. You never know how fast news travels in a small place like this! I would be killed if caught with you, especially after a few well wishers forbade me from even thinking of you. I know I cant help it and today, finally I am coming out in the open. I am shifting near you so that i have easy access all my life to you. I love you my dear Royal butterscotch! You are an ice cream and nut lover's dream come true.

P.S. Corner house~! I am loving it!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Japanese Wife

Today, I watched this movie in Inox. Unfortunately for me, the subtitles werent working properly and fortunately i had a full fledged bengali speaking friend who translated when i dint get dialogues.

This, is a beautiful movie. In a time when relationships are becoming more complicated each day and when it is easier to be alone than with loved ones, this movie wafts in as a refreshing breeze. The protagnists have been married for 17 years and have never met. They were penpals and theirs was a wedding where each remained committed to the person they never saw, but opened their hearts out to. The kind of love, everyone yearns for. The kind i feel is non-existent. Their relationship is so real and each frame is poetic. It brings out the beauty of the sunderbans and the simplicity in the lives of those there.

I liked Rahul Bose a lot. He has been used well. The widow, who comes to stay in his house has done a beautiful job. Not to mention her son who is chirpy and yet, not irritating. I am really bad at writing reviews for i end up revealing the ending, so i would stop myself here. But this is one movie, that should be watched, even if not for the acting, for the rich beautiful scenic locations.
Heaven: A lazy saturday afternoon with nothing else to do than relax and play paint ball and solve sudoku puzzles while listening to all time favorites on a lovely laptop. :)

Friday, April 09, 2010

After a long time, i am back to spending time doing sudoku. I used to be so crazy about this almost a year back. I don't know when i stopped, but once i did, i never tried solving those puzzles again. When i was cleaning up my room a while back, i just came across an old sudoku book and man, i am back to it. It is such a destressing exercise. :)

Thursday, April 08, 2010

The travelling warrior

In an atmosphere clogged by lies
In a world filled with deception
where words are just empty vehicles
carrying the creator's exaggerated sense of importance
The warrior trudges on..
Shielded by truth
Protected by hope, patience and virtue

For what is real can never cease to be
and what is not can never come to exist
An alternate false reality never can last too long
The beauty of truth never hidden too long

With head held high
and the mind aware,awake and alive
the lonely skeletal figure trudges
towards a better tomorrow
away from the confused, lost kin

5 lessons Excel taught me

  1. The first choice is not always the right one. This works for both choices you have made before and those you haven't. Vlookup or a life changing decision, your first choice need not be a right one. Mistakes,despite the frustrating side effects, help one learn.
  2. There is a sensible, shorter way of doing a lot of things. Ways which would make anything a much more pleasant experience. For this however, you have to spend a lot of time researching, face setbacks and be extremely determined. Whether it is combing a horde of formulas or managing a sudden outbreak of challenges, patience, determination and the will is required.
  3. However, in an attempt to oversimplify, adding too many formulas might just cause excel to hang and the work book impossible to send across. You would lose all that you shed blood building. Some people i know stick to jobs they hate, people they cant stand and things they dont want because it would lead to a better tomorrow. A few have turned so bitter and unhappy that i wonder if the tomorrow is ever going to be better because of the sacrificed present. Over-simplification and patience doesnt work always
  4. It is very important to recognise when to quit. Somethings, cannot be done because a way has not been invented yet. Either you invent a way or accept your limitation and go ahead with living.
  5. The simplest addition makes a job much easier. I compare that addition to a smile or a small ray of hope one has on a dark gloomy day.
There are two older posts of mine too. If you liked this, you might like them too. One inspired SAS and another inspired by Powerpoint.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Injustice

Sometimes in life, injustice has this way of prevailing. I know it is said that in the end, truth alone triumphs, but in the short run, things which happen do not give one this confidence. Times like these, i look at things like this. Rather, attempt to look at things like this.

  1. Life has to be balanced. So when you are blessed in one scale, you might have to be cursed in another. Just to maintain the balance and prevent the scales from tilting completely. Too much of anything is not good.
  2. Also, there is one more thing. Unless you really yearn and struggle for something, you would never really appreciate it.
  3. Adversity and Injustice are strange friends. They help you find out real relationships and how people around you are. A person's reaction to your problems and his/her reaction to injustice to anyone reflects the true character of the bond and the person. Even if the bond is strong, if one of the parties is weak, it is useless and same is the case vice versa
  4. Injustice also helps you find out how strong you yourself are. Whether you have a backbone or a plain simple glass column fitted in the back.
  5. And more than anything, life teaches you the art of being patient.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Good bye Chennai

They tell me that i would appreciate what i have after it is taken away from me. (They being my alter egos). So here i am, appreciating the wondercity bangalore after 2 days in sweltering hot chennai. A few instances which made me love the city i live in better

  1. Auto wala charging me 80rs for 1km in broad day light. ( Thankfully had my sis along else would have nodded my head. Bangalore has meters! Worst case they have quoted Rs.30 for a kilometer at 4 in the morning)
  2. Complete lack of traffic sense in the roadways. (I thought madurai was bad. Chennai is horrible in comparison)
  3. Absence of funky eat outs (I located little italy in a nondescript basement after a lot of research. The buffet was not only more expensive, it was also not as good as the one i have in bangalore)
  4. The best (worst)thing happened in the place every chennai-ite i know boasts about-the beach. I took off my chappals and was walking breathing in the fresh oil stench from all the small stalls that had their abode in the sands. I then saw a little boy pissing in the sand, encouraged by his mother. I just wore my chappals and fled back.
  5. The heat. I know I lived in Pilani when it was 50 degrees. But after sometime in bangalore, i am so used to it.
Disclaimer: I dont intend to insult any chennai-ite. I know a lot of you love the city despite its faults. I've similar feelings for Pilani. But seriously, I can never imagine living full term there.

P.S Post dedicated to my sis and the few friends who made my day. M^2, V, S

Friday, April 02, 2010

Carpe Diem

Experience is the best teacher. It has taught me time and again, that the best laid plans cannot take everything into account. Elaborate is not always elaborate. The problem with planning too much is that, we are at a loss if the plan fails and if there is no back up. To prevent such a thing, all i can say is this, "Impulsiveness rules!"

Just follow your heart and grab the oppurtunity there that you are so scared to catch as it doesnt fit in with your well laid plan. :)

This, is my justification to myself for hopping into a bus heading towards chennai. :D