Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Time

Time they say
changes everything
Time they claim,
makes you forget
or plainly reinforces a memory
Maybe, lets you morph
into an all new being

All the time in the world
my own minute universe
is what I have today
All the time in the world

I really wonder if that can erase
what was
for every fragment
of a common past
lies there - bottled up
waiting for me
to revisit
waiting for me
to rekindle the spark
that initiated all this

Yet another traveler
I bid adieu to
on a journey to carve
a new path of life
and to reshape
what will be

All the will be's
can never replace
what was
It was but a lifetime
a beginning without an end
for me the writer,
this aint a short story
but an epic saga

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Change and Hope

I am so bugged with change hitting me from almost every possible angle in my life. It is almost like when someone tells me this has happened, i can only give them a been there done that line. I hope things stabilise soon. I hope I can find the stability and peace I think I so badly need. Or should I simply wish that I understand what I need and see if i already have it?

Being a believer in fate, I wonder if what is happening is his way of making me, who has never faced too many major issues in life, to see what it is like to have some.

I wonder if all i need is a little more patience and absolute hope and trust in a better tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Humility

I realised today for the nth time that humility is a virtue of the strong and completely self confident individuals. It is only those that are insecure who find a constant need to put down what the others have and to exaggerate whatever little things they do.
Human beings are probably the funniest and the most irritating creatures. The more i observe my fellow species, the more i marvel about how similar deceptively different people are and how different seemingly similar ones are.

Toscano

Yet another italian food joint. I happened to visit the branch they have in the forum value mall. It was quite good! I loved the ambience and the food. Only issue was that they were a little under staffed. Think ill go there with a bigger group and taste variety.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Radha Hometel

It was a completely unplanned dinner and a lovely one too. I have never been to this place before and a friend of mine told me it was really good. So friday night I head out there, unfortunately towards closing time. Still, they accomodate us and we fill our plates up and sit down to a lovely meal.
Every dish was well crafted and my taste buds had a lovely time. I loved their keera kootu and Kovakkai. The chinese dishes were not as good as the south indian and north indian ones. Dessert was amazing and really yummy though I was too full to have too much and nibbled of my friend's plate much to his dismay. Sigh. Wish i can go to whitefield more often. I have to explore more places there. A good place to go to. A little on the expensive side, but quite peaceful and has good food, service and the right atmosphere for a nice conversation. :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

Once upon a time in mumbai

I watched this movie almost a week ago and well, let me say, i did not like it as much as i thought i would. Loved Ajay Devgan and Kangana Ranaut. This is probably the first time i have liked the actress though i have seen other movies of hers and not thought too much about her performance.
The director has tried to give a movie with the right mix of various ingredients and I think he has succeeded in that to a large extent. However, the last 30 mins were a little slow compared to the rest of the movie.

I loved the songs "Pee loon" and "Tum jo aaye". There are a few flaws in the movie mainly where Imran's love story is concerned. It was left unfinished and i guess the director left it to the audience to complete it.The movie tries to depict the human in a smuggler. I just hope they soon stop making heroes out of such anti social elements and concentrate on few unsung heroes who live among us. All those who struggle one way or the other to simply live and not choose the easier way out. Cant their lives be made into movies?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Adios Amigo

I hate good byes. I guess I have mentioned that time and again. Once again, it is time for me to say another good bye to someone quite close to my heart. I wonder - what is this life full of so many things and yet so devoid of a few others? Is this how it was meant to be? Is this what they call growing up? I wish I never had to. But my reality gently reminds me that adapt i must for in the long run, whatever happens, happens for a reason.

I can only silently bid adieu and wish good luck to an awesome human being perhaps one of the best there was. Have a good life! You know I am writing this about you. :D

Monday, August 16, 2010

Independence

We celebrated our 64th Independence day yesterday. It was a day like any other to me. I did not know how I could celebrate the day. I was no longer in school or college to attend flag hoistings and sing the national anthem. THe last time i stood up for a national anthem was when i had gone to watch a movie and they were playing a modern version of it with loads of stars crooning (I did not like it. I like the old version better). In my apartment, there was a flag hoisting ceremony right outside my window, but i preferred standing in attention inside my house when the flag was rised. Somehow I was not too comfortable joining a group of strangers in my night pants.

Later in the day when I was attempting to swim in the pool, the flag caught my eye. I began to wonder and realised that in my own way, i was celebrating the spirit of independence almost every day of my life. I am free of worrying about where my next meal is going to come from. I dont have to care about sustaining my family and yes, I can live my life in my own terms without compromising on my principles too often. (I do have to do it once in a while, but those aint principles which matter)

When i get to think of the struggle for independence, nowadays, i think of the youngsters who were of my age then. Most of them are unsung heros/heroines, who in their own way tried to fight against oppression. All i can do is mutter a silent thanks to them and move ahead with my life which is possible in the way it is because of their sacrifice. I wonder if i deserve it. I wonder what i have to do to feel like i deserve it. In my own small way, i try to do things to make this world a better place. But not all of them make a big impact, most of them are unnoticed. However, the peace of mind they give me is amazing. It is because of my independence that I am able to do such things. I salute to all those who made this possible. I salute to life and everything about it.

Fear

I have mixed emotions when i hear that word. When you get down to it, it is supposed to be the one thing that puts human beings off. Your fear of what the system might do to you for disobeying rules, helps maintain law and order. Your fear of living makes you live a life where you do what you are supposed to do but not what you want to do. I dont know if i hate the word. It has led to majority of the wrong decisions i made in my life. I was not able to stand up and say no for fear of hurting someone i thought i cared about.

After three days of introspection I have realised that when it is only fear that guides your decisions, after a point of time, you fail to live. I woke up a little too late and refused to be afraid. But I feel, that you do need the fear for without it, you tend to make mistakes that might affect you in the longer run. I am trying to find a point where i can balance the fear with a little courage and acceptance and learn to live my life.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

They seem to crowd all around me. Mocking at me in a very strange way. When you get down to it, the word mocking has to have strangeness associated with it. For though, mocking as such is not strange(it is the most usual thing in the world), the way people seem to do it is. I was kinda squeezed from all directions and I was suffocating. Gasping for breath. My life dint flash in front of me. But then, i havent lived so long. Was this how the end was? I woke up and realised, all those fears are but demons i awaken within myself. The demons from a past i dont want to revisit. However, they will never let go, unless i let them go.

Today, i decide to atleast try, to let them go. Not fight them, but to just face them and tell them, they are but part of a dead past. I hope it works.

I weep

I weep
Not because you are leaving
But because i know
With time,
You will but a memory be
A sweet one nonetheless
But a memory
Not so much a part
of my life

I weep because i know
with time, change i would completely embrace
and forget the present
for then, it would be a memorable past
I weep because i would grow
I just hope it is not too far away from you.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Obituary

You see it flow
all around you
enveloping whatever is left
of the bits of integrity
in a half dead soul
You see it conquer
all the dreams
all those could have been's
which you know
never would have been
You see it take away
everything you hold dear

For to succeed quickly
you need to let the darkness in
you need to accept that
hard work is simply over rated
that life is never ever going to be good
and the worst you have
is as good as it is ever going to get

I simply sit down to write
a heartfelt obituary
to whatever little hope
I ever have left

I just simply give up
For it is a lot easier
to await a gloomy death
than to look ahead
to a non existent success tomorrow

Losing all possible hope
I hope to attain freedom

Equal Rites

I guess I am turning my blog into a regular review portal. The thing is, I have become obsessed with Pratchett. I have to read atleast a chapter of what he has written in a day. I have finished some 9 books in the last one and a half months. Now that i am done with showing off my reading speed, Ill try to write about the book.

I loved Pratchett in Monstrous Regiment. This book also deals with the same topic and it is quite different and similar to Monstrous Regiment. While the characters in Monstrous Regiment disguise themselves as men, Esk in Equal Rites tries very hard to get into the Unseen University to become a wizard. Her wish stems of a very curious incident that occured during her birth. Everyone knows that when a wizard is about to die, he knows it beforehand. Drum Billet,the wizard, in his last few hours on earth, entrusts the care of his magical staff to the new born eighth son of an eighth son. Only, the baby is a daughter. The wizard realises his blunder too late and is unable to rectify it.

The story then deals with Esk's growing up,how she learns of her powers and the way she starts using them. A female wizard is unheard of in the disc and she struggles to become one. The humor is amazing as usual and the writer portrays the characters beautifully. My favorite is of course Granny Weatherwax, with her wry humour, accurate understanding of human psycology(headology as she calls it) and her intelligent manipulations. :) Pratchett's heros are human and make mistakes. Esk and Simon form an awesome twosome and you learn along with them. Another book which is a lesson on life and everything about it. Well written and witty.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Dreams, Thoughts, desires

I seek an answer
for all the questions in my mind
I search for a string of words
to best represent the thought that questions
I ponder if what i seek
is something I already have
I dream about days to come
without a form, a structure
Days which are but hazy dreams
Days which I know nothing about
Even their existence.

For all that life is,
it is but transient
For all that I might want,
I am but yet another human
One born to think
One born to seek
One born to simply want
without knowing what
it is that I need.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Valuable junk

We attach value - to things. Or that is what we would like to think. Most of the time, the value attached is to the idea behind the thing. I lost something today and was quite hysterical for sometime. (I scared quite a few people in the ten minutes after i discovered the loss) However, soon sense, my eternal dormant friend woke up, whacked me in the head and asked me to stop my tantrums. What was really irreplaceable was the idea behind me getting those things and not the things by themselves. The memories were right there, waiting for me to revisit them.

I remember a few things i lost. By sheer carelessness or by some elaborate plot of fate. But each time, i recovered quite too soon. Be it a friend who was once my only confidante or the awesome purse i had in college. Everything in life, is replaceable at the end of the day. (When you get down to it, so are you. But then, dont start thinking about it. Takes away all the glory i tell you) What perhaps isnt are the memories i have locked away. Somewhere in the depths of my heart, waiting for a rainy day when all I would have is them for company. Looking at my action packed weeks, I doubt if they will resurface anytime soon before I create newer, maybe (rather definitely) more beautiful memories.

A post to you dear froggy. Adios! Wherever you are, know that you were once close to my heart. You were well loved. Now its time for me to move on and find another soft toy. :)