Sunday, June 30, 2013


True focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity. How do I go and then stay between the two zones? I am still evaluating the options

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

To be or maybe not

There it stands
Somewhere in a distant corner
Not so distant any more
It walks
Alternating - playing with my mind
Knowing fully well
I've noticed it
Knowing fully well
There's a little me somewhere
Scared, scarred and just tired
Not ready for the battle.
I see an alleyway
A hint of a hope
A tiny silver lining
I see it clearer in my mind
I know I can escape

The warrior in me
refuses to give up
I look the monster in the eye
And just face it

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

So what

So what if everything is a what if?
So what if every day is different?
So what if the odds are definitely against it?
So what if normalcy would be deemed a thing of the past?
So what if it might not be?
So what if its the last thing that might be?
So what if i lose everything i hold dear as of this instant?

So what?
When the stars become mere black holes
and when the world as i know it turns to dust,
would it matter?

When the breaths i take for granted each second
cease forever
and when the memories are somewhere far far away
lost in a universe beyond the point of recall
would it matter?

Should i now bet on all that isnt
bet all that is?
I know not...

Friday, June 21, 2013

All my life

All my life, someone or the other has kept telling me about how much my life would change due to something or the other. When I went to high school they said I'd not have time for anything but education. When I went to college, they said I'd change my outlook towards what's cool and what's not. When I started working they said that without an MBA I'd not get what I want. Then they claimed I wouldn't love what I do. It was old fashioned they said.
When I got married they said everything would turn upside down.
I listened, wondered, worried and let it be. With time I've accepted that some rules are there for exceptions to not even acknowledge them. There are a few who create the trend and who keep trying to live life in their own terms. A post dedicated to the few I know and the many I don't who set their own rules and change the trend. Thank you for being there and making me feel normal when I crave for normalcy.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The best laid plans

Just when you think you had it all figured out,
Just when you begin to build castles
Just when you dream of fluffy interiors and funny bouncy dogs,
Just when you think you have hit the sweet spot,
Just when you finish drawing the best laid plans,
The key players just turn and run
The foundation shifts just a wee bit
and everything disappears before you blink

The best laid plans are too much fun
All cos mostly they remain there
In our minds and in our dreams
for my dear friends time and fate intervene
I see destiny carve a path real different
and I wonder - how can i survive?
Knowing fully well i will
Knowing fully well that the curved balls are the most fun
Knowing fully well ill start planning again
Knowing fully well that while i want it to succeed,
This one too will meet its predecessors
In the world where dreams and hopes and lost aspirations wander
In the world where there are a lot of what ifs
In the world where hope springs eternal

Locked away in a forgotten compartment in my mind
I have dreams and plans too many
I regret not dreaming even one
I regret not losing even one
But wish I do in my bleakest hours
that some what ifs could have been
and i take a minute to mourn for one which now
is closest to my heart
and carry on...

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Man of Steel - This steel rusts

I am a huge fan of superhero movies. I am ready to suspend common sense for hours and enjoy the ride. Enjoy the visit to fantasy land and fly in the moonlight in bikes or in the sky with funny men in strange suits, or with secretive rich kids or with an alien or even with a God. But this time around - man, i could not watch this massacre of a movie knowing that a mind like Nolan's was behind it. How could he do this to us?!

The movie begins well - the first five minutes atleast. There is a dying planet and brilliant mind which is seeking to save it with his loyal wife. Another soul intent on saving the planet chooses a different route which results in a bloody coup. The two friends clash and a "hope" for the planet is shot out in to the sky. Then the fight, the destroyed planet, the bad theatre (Q cinemas) all added to my angst. Top it with the disconnected story telling and a curious reporter following an alien who has covered his tracks, whatever that means. The plot goes completely downhill after an alien ship is spotted. I dont even want to talk about it here lest someone who was dying to watch the movie accidentally reads this and curses me.

Superman in this movie, is not dying to show his blue and red suit, he tries to save the world when he thinks its time and is ready to give up a lot to protect his identity. Still, he is not able to bring a lump to my throat. There is no emotion in the movie and that is what irks me more than the screenplay, the lack of chemistry between the lead pair or the sad villain. I felt nothing when earth was being destroyed or when Lois Lane was attacked or when she was saved or when Superman was convinced that Earth was his home. Nothing and I am so sad i watched this movie with so  much expectation.

There is no point talking about the actors or the screenplay or the music.I am just too sad to continue beyond this - plus my brain is failing me as i forcibly sat through this brilliant piece of art for hours. I am so not talking about the climax because if i start i am not going to stop.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

How do you

How do you even acknowledge, let alone judge, evaluate and strategise to destroy the demons that are out there when you are busy struggling with the ones that keep coming from within?
Even if you manage to focus on one damn demon, what about all the rest which keep jumping around hoping, praying and preying on the little attention you have left?
Interesting to only think about bang in the middle of the night.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Taj Conspiracy - Manreet Sodhi Someshwar

I don't usually read Indian mystery novels unless they are extremely popular and in the recent past, i have not had the chance to figure out what is popular so effectively, i have not strayed beyond the safety net of established authors. A birthday gift ensured I picked up and read one end to end. I have to admit - I enjoyed the experience.

The plot begins with the murder of the supervisor of the Taj. A researcher - Mehrunisa, discovers the body when she comes to the Taj ahead of opening time to keep up her appointment with the supervisor. Arun Toor, the supervisor was a friend of sorts and she is surprised and shocked. Further misery and grilling awaits her in the police station when the body disappears. We, the lucky readers get to meet a python taming creature who feeds the dead body to the pet python. Why the supervisor is murdered and left in the said position in the said place forms the crux of the story. There are a lot of interesting stories around the Taj effortlessly woven into the book (on how it was a possible Hindu temple, how it was bought from a Hindu king etc etc). As much as i love conspiracy theories and as much as i don't think its a symbol of love, i have come to admire the Taj over the years and I really don't think it matters as to who built it for what. What matters is the beauty that it is.

It is nice to read about dal, roti eating population that i am familiar with in a book. But the same thing works against the book as none of the characters are people you would encounter normally. You have a half Persian, half Punjabi female protagonist who is interested in Renaissance art (come on it was Da vinci code which got majority interested in the art from then), then there is this professor who has spent his entire life studying the Taj (he did not remind me of my grand dad who incidentally has published books on the Meenakshi temple), then there is this weird niece of his who is a Kashmiri pundit. The two policemen are the straight cop stereotypes and I could not connect to them. The jihadi waiting to blow up the Taj, the nutty character who recounts gross tales through his diary and the urine drinking politician are just wasted to a great deal and we could have happily done without them.

As much as the plot was an interesting Indianized take, I really felt that book could have done with a lot more editing. The chapters just begin and end real randomly and I had to spend a lot of time trying to not lose track. Mehru has fire but she is still not warm enough to inspire me or make me fall in love with her characterization. The almost romance was too shallow for me to enjoy it and none of the other characters, even the Pamposh who is my usual type struck a chord with me.

The mystery is not too apparent and for that i have to give it to the author. A pretty decent read but not the best there is. 3 on 5.

The thrill of the chase

"Pleasure lies not in discovering truth but in seeking it" - one of my favorite characters in a television series quoted this in an episode today. I went ahead and found out that it was Tolstoy who had said it eons ago.

I love the chase. Be it when i try to make sense of some really difficult data or when i try to figure out what it is i should do next or when i am planning a nice long vacation - whatever be the case, i love the chase. In a way, I have a "what next" existence. I really need to keep moving all the time. Finding new goals, defining new horizons and constantly making sure I am doing the best I possibly can. I enjoy periods of complete solitude and silence when i recalibrate myself but it is usually a very small portion of my eventful life. I realize and accept the role the chase plays in my life and I wonder how long am i going to seek? When shall i stop and find pleasure in the discovery? Or is it just that this attribute of the life I love is going to be a permanent one - maybe that even defines me? Or does it already define me?

Monday, June 03, 2013


I dont know how i missed this movie. Could be because it was just around in the indian theatres for a few days. Could be because i did not see the alien in the image.

For the uninitiated, the 2011 British American movie follows the life and times of an alien who is trying to escape from the big man with the help of two British geeks who are on a road trip in the US of A. The foulmouthed, cigarette smoking alien has been around for a very long time and is more human than most humans. He has a funny bone and is a pretty interesting watch. The situations the two geeks face (who is adam shadowchild) is a lot like some i run into in life but the line is very strongly drawn there. They are too ridiculously geeky. Their bond is also lovable in its own way and maybe because i was in a forgiving, happy mood, i envied the relationship.

The geeks are joined by a god fearing damsel who is shocked beyond words by the antics of the alien. You watch her "evolve" from detesting Darwin to calling herself "Charlotte Darwin" and you really cant help but like her for her growth.

The cops chasing the alien to take him back to the base are the only sad part. Playing hide and seek? Really?!! Thats testing the limits. The agent and the voice on the phone are again a little too cliched but definitely more tolerable than the two nuts.

A definite watch. Not once but maybe just twice. :) Maybe i liked it as i watched with an awesome set of friends. The movie was hilarious, thought provoking and entertaining.

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

First things first - This phase of my year is called "Deepika Padukone almost fan". I somehow wanted to watch the movie as she was in it. Beat that logic. Anyway, that phase also coincided with the "i want to watch a fluffy movie" mood. Which is what i want a reader to remember before delving further into this review.

I loved Ayan Mukherjee's "Wake up sid" and i was convinced i am going to enjoy parts of this movie and i actually did. The chemistry between the lead pair is lovely and barring a few idiotic logical flaws (how did deepika's character manage to muster enough money to go to Kulu Manali overnight? the fight with the gundas is just ridiculous), a few cliche stereotypes(Laura Aunty, Deepika's over protective mom, Ranbir's lovingggg dad), a few out of the place scenarios (how are you playing holi in the middle of summer? then, how does it look like Rajasthan in December?!) the movie was actually pretty ok and in a way entertaining

Deepika and Ranbir did their roles pretty well. They had to of course enact the illogical scenes but if anything they have matured with a finesse and i enjoyed watching them on screen.

Deepika, seems too simple for a girl who is a doctor. The hours of study and the dedication is not something anyone can muster and for someone like that, she tries too hard to simple or sexy. Just a little jarring when she does all her dances and her i have to win everything attitude gets bugging at places. Aditya Roy Kapoor can act and i guess he will do much better in the movies to come. Kalki has a funny role and i really dont know why the director got her such a silly fiance. You can also marry normal people and they dont have to go jump into a pool right before an engagement and go hug a guest and wet his suit. I might do that if i cant stand the guest of course but thats not what this software engineer's intention is. I hated that characterization and I m not going to forgive the director for that.

A feel good movie that is decently made. A one time watch.