Thursday, October 30, 2014

Letting go

Letting go is not always cowardly
Sometimes it definitely is
Sometimes it is heart wrenching
Sometimes it is liberating
Sometimes it shows bravery
Sometimes it shows a quitter
Sometimes it shows a visionary
and sometimes a definite fool.

As I consider letting go
Evaluate the ties that bind
Every second seems precious
Every minute irreplaceable
and all the years maybe, futile

I see myself through different eyes
Some judgemental, some accepting,
some basically non committal
and some definitely unforgiving.

I see myself transform
from a quitter to a deserter
to a visionary to a wizard.
and I finally realise
I have to make peace

Millions of possibilities abound
MIllions of paths strewn right in front
Some with variations minor,
Some ground breaking,some revolutionary

I am scared of the perceived failure
The perceived loss of face
The perceived step down
from an illusionary pedestal

Will the fear overwhelm
or will the possibility give courage?
Only time will ever tell.
Only time will ever heal.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Puppy love

The house is asleep. The three other occupants in one state of sleep or the other and there is pin drop silence as even the television is not on.
I am sitting and trying to finish something while contemplating about something I did not want to hear but heard anyway. Everything seems either ridiculous or frivolous and I am wondering what is the point of everything and how I am going to cope with myself and what I have to project to the outside world. Then i feel something moist in my hand and a warm nose comes and brushes itself against me. Zoya woke up and came looking for me and I wonder why I even bother about things when there are other things which are far more important like my sleep and all that I have effortlessly.

Things I have worked for and got and some things I did not work too much for and still got. So I just decide to just blog about it and let it be.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Help-less

I've an awesome maid. I mean, I am very comfortable with her and she is also a cook on days I don't feel like cooking. Now, I was out of town for three days and she did not come to work even after I came back for two days. The house was a real mess. After one of my house parties yesterday, where I cooked like a maniac for many people and had some 4 dogs and six people at home, I was despairing how I was going to clean up. To top it i had a temperature and the luxury lover and the neat freak in me were fighting like crazy. Finally, I started sweeping the house and cleaning the vessels when she came in with a ridiculous excuse. I was too tired to even be mad at her and I moved on to the comfort of the bed.

I wonder how people manage without help at home. I know its possible and once you get used to it not so difficult but in the state that I am in, I am not able to think of such a scenario. I have to get out of this dependency.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Blue Umbrella by Ruskin Bond

This ACK deserves a special mention because it captures one of my favorite stories by Ruskin Bond. The Blue Umbrella. The images are mind blowing and add to the beauty of the simple and heart warming story. I think ACK should go ahead and make some of the recent Indian Classics into a comic. I would start with Jungle Book.



If you havent read the Blue Umbrella or seen the movie, try reading the picture book. The story unfolds so wonderfully right in front of your eyes. You get to see a tranquil Indian setting and you get to enjoy the innocence and beauty in the smaller things in life.

The story is about Binya, who lives in a tiny village. She trades her leopard claw necklace with a tourist for her beautiful blue umbrella which she never parts with. A lot of people love the umbrella and want it. The grocer especially has his eyes on it. But his attempts to steal it back fire and he earns the hatred of the village. How Binya and the grocer make peace is the rest of the story.

The plot is simple and the execution beautiful. For someone like me, who lives in the lap of luxury and does not often appreciate the smaller things in life, this book is a wake up call. No matter how many times I read it. When was the last time I appreciated all the expensive furniture or even the blankets i once bought with so much love? When i pause to watch it all, I feel so nice and blessed. No matter what happens in my life, I will try to always be thankful for all that I have and try to take better care of things. This book is a important read for our consumerist generation which has forgotten how to appreciate the smaller things in life.

ACK - Indian Classics

I have been reading quite a lot of Amar Chitra Kathas. I finished the Indian Classic collection and I have to say, I loved it.
http://www.amarchitrakatha.com/ack/books/Amar%20Chitra%20Katha/ACK/Singles/INDIANCLASSICS



While most of the stories centered around women were ridiculous (every female wants to marry the king, no matter how many wives he has), Udayan and his wifes really irritated me the most. But if i ignore the modern sensibility and look at the images, it was a beautiful experience. I loved adventures of Pratapan and Manonmani because both plot lines were relatively modern.

I am so glad I got this collection and reading it takes me back to a different time and place and this set of books especially, makes me want to go back and revisit some Indian classics.

My pup bites me

No. I am not referring to the two devils. They dont even bother with nipping let alone biting. I am referring to a friend who had taken Maya home. She had to give the dog back as Maya bit her. I am told that since it is an Indie pup, it will behave that way and only a gentle dog wont. Maya has a genuine issue probably because she fended for herself for a long time. But I am noticing this attitude with a lot of people when they see my two.

A typical conversation with supposed dog lovers who watch me walking the dogs is as follows (the sequence of questions might vary):

DL : "Wow. They are so cute. Are they related?"
Me/Hubby : "No. They are not."
DL : " Which breed?"
Me/Hubby :"They are Indies"
DL : "Oh ok. They are male right?"
Me/Hubby : "No. They are both female"
DL : "Arent you scared they will have pups?"
Me/Hubby : "They are both neutered"
DL : "Arent you scared theyll bite you?" and some folks who are supposedly our friends ask, "Are you confident you can leave them with your baby and they wont harm it?"

I am usually irritated by this point and I give some excuse and walk off. What is so wrong with Indies and what is wrong with having female dogs? They are so alert, loving and so wonderful to be around. I dont think I will ever have a non indian dog ever. People are scared of adopting females. At this day and age. I wonder why. Why can we not just let these guys have homes and why can we not shut up when someone does instead of judging their affordability (yeah, thats another thing that irritates me - you got and indie as you couldnt afford a breed dog? Why are you cutting corners) or their sensibility (Why are you neutering your dog and not letting them enjoy their life?)

I wish the world is a better place to live in.

Happy New Year - SRK all the way

I watched Happy New Year today to complete the Diwali celebration with one of my favorite heros - Shah Rukh.
The movie is about Charlies revenge for the wrongful arrest of his father, an honest safe maker who is charged with robbery that is actually committed by a diamond merchant. He decides to steal the jewels the diamond merchant is guarding and get back at him. He participates in a World Dance competition with a bunch of losers - a safe cracker, a bomb expert, a slum resident, a computer whiz kid and a bar dancer to get closer to the diamonds. How they go ahead is the plot.

It is a Farah Khan and SRK film, so it is definitely entertaining in places despite a ridiculously executed plot. But, if you ask me to compare it to Main Hoon Na or Om Shanti Om, I really cannot. This one doesnt pack in so much. I loved those two movies though they were largely brainless because there were a lot of lovable elements on screen. This movie is lacklusture despite the glittering cast (I saw Bachan junior onscreen after a long time) because the screen play is too weak and there are too many stereotypes.

Even having a sexy Deepika in screen does not do much to counter that. Shahrukh is typical and it is inspiring to note his fitness at his age. Sonu Sood has some scenes riding on his macho shoulders but apart from showing off his abs, he does not do much. In fact, we could have done without a few of his fight scenes and reduced the running time considerably. Boman Irani is a little irritating in places and I wonder why an actor of his calibre is ready to be made into a world class fool. He still does a good job and one ought to admire him for that.

I did not love the movie, but then, I did not hate it either. Thought it was a little slow, I really enjoyed watching Shahrukh on screen and also liked some of the lighter moments of the movie. I wish the SRK, Deepika romance had played out a little and that she did not have to speak in that horrible accent. The dance practice and the India loyalty scenes are super irritating at places and we could have done without it too. The safe cracking sequence is actually ok (they must have copied it pretty well). In terms of the music, though India Wale is not amazing, it can grow on you. But Manwa Lage is playing out in my head even now. I loved the song and the sequence. The movie is a one time masala watch. You will enjoy it if you like SRK and Farah.But please leave your brains behind at home.

The adventures of awesome twosome

We had a very wonderful trip home with the awesome twosome. Here are some pictures from the drive.


This is my drooling dog. I am not giving her up:
 

My favorite person in the world (Zoya stalked her to the bathroom and stayed outside the door)


I am a sanyasi. That bird is the object of my attention now:

Tirukoshtiyoor - where the caste barriers were broken

We headed from Tirumayam to Tirukoshtiyoor which was a short drive away. Tirukoshtiyoor is known more recently for Ramanujacharyas ground breaking preaching. The story goes that Ramanujar wanted to learn from a good guru. (This happens close to 1000 years ago). He comes to Tirukoshtiyoor nambigal and learns from his for sometime. His guru tells him that chanting "Om Namo Narayana" can help him attain mukthi. He is also told that he should not transfer this knowledge and if he does, his head would burst. Soon after learning this, Ramanuja climbs right to the top of this temple and chants this mantra to the masses. He tells his guru that he prefers the salvation of thousands to his damnation. A happy guru forgives him. There might be a few errors in my recounting the story, but i really love Ramanujas attitude and how he really tries to break the caste barriers in a time when it was at its peak. He must have been in his twenties. You can see the nambigals house, his successors live there till date. He must have been in his thirties. It is heartwarming to see this opening up of the doorways into the elite caste. I am glad it happened then. I want to read up more on Ramanuja and see what else he achieved. :)

The temple is supposed to be from Hiranyakasipus era. Hiranyakasipu was killed by my favorite god Lord Narasimha and the idea is supposed to have originated here. The temple was supposed to be the ashram of Kadamba maharishi who had gotten a boon that his ashram would always be protected so he can focus on his higher pursuits. Narayana was guarding the place when the whole world was looking for him to save him from Hiranyan. Hiranyan had a boon from Brahma (for the uninitated) that he cannot be killed in day or night, by man or animal, inside or outside a house and by any weapon. When they finally reached him, the devas werent sure if Vishnu could be up to the task of killing him. An angry Vishnu poses as an 8 ft Narasimhar, showing them how Hiranyan can be killed. Narasimha avatar is half man, half lion and he kills Hiranyan with his bare hands in the steps of his palace.  You can see the Ugra Narasimhar statue outside the temple inside the complex.



The temple also has the Lord Vishnu in different poses. "Aadinaan, Kedanthaan, Nindraan, Amarnthaan" (he danced, he lay, he stood and he sat). There are multiple levels in this temple and you climb through some amazing steps to view all the different poses of the Lord. This temple is a must visit if you are anywhere near Madurai (just takes an hour to reach Madurai from here). The place is peaceful and there is a lot of work going on now to celebrate the 1000th year of Ramanuja.

There is a wonderful and well spoken guide there who knows a lot about the temple. He made me want to read Naalayira Thivya Prabandam after the way he quoted from it. You should engage him. He is the security there and he climbs like spider man. :)



Tirumayam - timeless art set in stone


I love visiting temples. The empty ones usually. I am not a fan of the waiting in the queue to get a glimpse of God. I love going to a temple, soaking the atmosphere, admiring the architecture, thanking God for every thing and of course asking for some more things. We set out to Tirumayam on Diwali day as I have been wanting to visit temples for some time now and since we had a wonderful car with us, we drove down to Tirumayam from Madurai (takes about 1.5 hours). Tirumayam is located in Pudukottai district and the temple is under the Architectural society of India. I have visited the place a few times in the past but this was my first visit with my dear husband and father.

The central shrine in Tirumayam is dedicated to Sathyagreeswarar. This flickr album has a lot of wonderful photographs - https://www.flickr.com/photos/rajushanthi/sets/72157626712577899/ and i have flicked the photo in my post from this one - https://www.flickr.com/photos/lomadi/sets/72157600232190810/

There is major action happening in the central shrine. You can see Vishnu lyind down on Adisesha, and all the devas right above him. Brahma can be seen in his nabhi (belly button) sitting on a lotus and Bhooma Devi has taken refuge in his feet and Lakshmi in his heart. With one hand, he is calming Adishesha and with another, he is seen comforting Lakshmi while there are fireworks unleashed on the two demons who are disturbing his peace.

Its a beautiful sight to behold. The temple has a pushkarani also which is a calm and beautiful place. The drive from Madurai was good for the most way and there were a few bad roads. I loved the temple yet again and I am so glad I can go and enjoy such wonderful places in my own country.

Madras - the movie like the city (has to be experienced)

We have a tradition whenever we go to my place, Madurai. We always go for a night show. My father wanted to take us to the newly opened Inox and having seen the posters of this movie all the way on our drive through Tamil Nadu,we wanted to watch this movie. This is one movie, you have to experience for sure.



The plot revolves around a wall in a housing board. The wall has been the point of contention for two political parties, which split post a disagreement. The patriarchs from both the parties try to conquer the wall and leave the task behind to their successors. By a stroke of luck, one man manages to get his fathers picture painted on it. A series of misfortunes occur near the wall and the wall is marked as jinxed and nobody goes near it.

The heros friend, a member of the opposite party, Anbu, wants to make the wall his. He wants to do this to fight against the superstition and also to prove his capability to the party leadership. He is appointed the youth committee leader and his desire is fueled even more. What happens to the wall finally forms the crux of the story.

The director takes you on a very intense, interesting ride. The local politics, the slightly over the top romance, the very beautiful friendship between Karthi and Anbu, the locals and their football player craze (Anbu's son is called Ronaldo), the struggle for water, education etc. is told very effortlessly. This is perhaps one of the best tamil movies I have watched recently. It flows really naturally. Whether idiots like these should be shown on screen is a separate debate altogether and  I am not ready to get into it as yet.

We have a few brilliant and effortless actors carrying the film in their broad shoulders. Karthi as the educated youth in a largely uneducated neigbhourhood, Anbu, his friend who has a lovely wife and kid and is still crazy about politics, the politicians themselves and even the heros mother have all done a great job. The heroine is better forgotten. The music is unintrusive and the Blue boys in the movie are a pretty nice touch.

I loved the climax and though you expect a few supposed twists, the screenplay makes up for the predictability. The movie has to be experienced. But I cannot guarantee if everybody can stomach it.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Distributed love

So these are the pups we helped move. I so miss feeding them in the evenings. :(

What evenings are about

This is what evenings are about - just watching the world go by. For as many hours as we deem relevant. :)

Phone woes

Smart phones make you dumber and if anything, they get you so addicted, you dont know how to live without them without exhibiting withdrawal symptoms. I had a lovely nexus 4 until my doggies decided to play football with it. The service is so pathetic that in 2 months, i have never managed to get the screen replaced. I am using an older phone. A Nokia Lumia 620.

The power button and the volume control doesnt work and I have to press the phone down even if i want to unlock it, and i end up restarting it. Funnily, I have gotten used to it and since repairing the nexus is anyway expensive, I am working on saving towards it than spending just like that, the way I am usually used to.

All was initially tolerable and then fine until yesterday when my phone decided to crash again and this time it was not switching on. I left it on charge and it always displayed no battery and then it was showing some updates as being installed. Leaving it plugged in all night did not help. Finally, I removed it from the charger and let it be for the whole day. In the interim I was exploring my options and finally decided to go without repairing the phone. Until the phone decided to pity me and started working!

Now after checking it was working and connecting it to my laptop to transfer all the photos out, it has crashed again. But I think its installing the updates again. So let us see where this takes me. Crazy world. I hate smart phones. I want to live without a phone. I am sure I will be ok and perhaps even more punctual. But I doubt that the fantasy will come true.

Unbound

I've been reading a couple of books about indian women who work. The one by the radio city CEO, "lady, you're not a man" was hilarious and thought provoking. She did not subscribe to too many stereotypes and she was calling out a lot of real issues. Largely of middle class women and gave enough practical advice on how to handle things.

Yesterday, I read "Unbound". It spoke about a variety of issues indian women face and I have to agree, I have either faced a few myself or seen women around me face it. But I wonder what's the point of books like these. Does it make men more sensible? I doubt that would happen as they have it ingrained in their heads that they are amazing and perfect and they are a better gender.
The nice ones are actually nice already and practical and I thank god that most of the ones I run into are nice.

The ones I actually have an issue with are a type not too many speak about it. Where there is condescension indirectly, never a direct discrimination. It's like, you will be a better parent as women are naturally gentle. Or you are a better cook as women are more patient. Or, why don't you order, women are better at this.

I quoted some nicer examples, but I am sure you get the drift. I wish I can kill men who behave like this and more importantly women who are ok being treated like this, as the two psychos in god bless America do. But it's not a solution and without all these jokers, I don't think I'll find life funny. I have such an escapist attitude. I can't solve for it, so I'd rather laugh at life rather than fight it out. :)

Four seasons - my pained stomach

Yesterday, we went to four seasons in in orbit mall and I am still suffering from the side effects. Firstly the place hardly has anything vegetarian so I guess I was in the wrong place actually. Even based on what was in the menu, half the dishes were unavailable. After much contemplation we ordered and the lemon soda, which they made with mint and which had much more mint than either lemon or soda.
The corn kabab was good but the other dish was so pasty that I swear I can still feel it in my palette after washing my mouth some multiple times.
The malai kofta had a nice gravy but the kofta was very average and the soya paneer gravy was spicy and probably initiated my screwed up stomach. The stuffed kulcha was decent but not done in places and I am actually feeling very unhappy about the expensive experience.

I doubt ill ever visit the place again but what I wonder now is, how many of us are ok with average and below average fare served in restaurants and how we don't seem to care how much it costs us financially and also medically. Medically is the after effects in the long term. We've not eaten out too often nowadays as we used to, but were working on cutting even that down.

The threesome

Friday evening we had a guest at home. Maya, the pup a friend had picked was staying with us on Friday evening as her then master wanted to give her away and we were looking for a house for her. My friend who has a kennel volunteered to keep here but she had a sick dog so we kept her one day it was a very adventurous day. We had assumed Laika would be the one who would have a problem and had tried to introduce the three to each other in a tennis court. Nothing happened as we hoped as though Laika calmed down maya kept growling at her and Zoya for some reason took an instant dislike. She was in her hunter stance forever.
I had to bring maya home alone. When I came Home carrying the pup, Zoya jumped up and brought her down. She dint hurt her but I could see the dog was traumatised. I had to leave her out and these two in for the night. I thankfully had got a crate from my friend and I could lock maya in it for her safety. Laika, figured out a way to lift the crate off the ground and these two kept running around the crate to scare her.
We locked them up inside the house and I spent time with maya before she slept.

Sat morning, I was with maya in the terrace and these two stood outside after they were back from their walk and kept crying. I continued to ignore them and play with this pup before locking her up. I wish they'd been friends, but I did let them all be as I wasn't going to keep maya. I wish maya finds a home soon. She is happy in the kennel with two adorable dogs for now.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Knowledge

Have you ever noticed how much knowledge is more often than not, just a mere perception?  I have seen folks with a lot of depth and understanding of a subject, claim they know just a part of it. Then I have seen some jokers who know nothing much about a subject, claim to be experts and talk as if they know everything about it.

How do some get the confidence and some not get it? I know that in the long run the truth comes out, but in the short run, i find it funny, irritating, sad and sometimes downright depressing and hilarious (at the same time). Sometimes, I wish I had the ability to time travel. That way, i can see the moment of truth some day in the future and the current moment of falsehood side by side and convince myself there is justice somewhere.


Monday, October 13, 2014

Changes

Life is funny. A few months ago, in every thought I'd want to come home just to see my dogs greet me. I never thought I'd push meetings as walking them became a priority and that I would use lovely towels as their bed sheets. Well, am doing that now.

A few years back, I never thought I'd live the way I do now and be married to who I am to now. Well, i am and I am having the time of my life. God has always been so kind to me and every time I've cried over spilt milk, he has shown me over time that it was spoilt in the first place or just maybe too fatty for me. :D

When I left my first job, I was so sad.. I loved the company and the people but the timings were impractical for me and I really needed a lifestyle change. (Waking up at noon and eating at odd hours, I was starting to resemble a beached whale.) But now, I am so in love with my job and I think I've met some of my best friends in this wonderful place. I never thought I'd love a domain or a job so much and have so much fun working that I would rather work than read on certain days. My lifestyles improved too and I never miss breakfast or lunch.

I'm now contemplating a few changes I see coming and when I consider just these three, I think one way or the other, I'll find a way to handle and adjust and move on. I will thank him up above sooner than later.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Offline

I was speaking to a friend today who mentioned that there are no phones allowed in his office. I was wondering how he managed. I am so used to mine that I can hardly imagine being without it in office. But to be honest, I actually don't mind being without it either.

Usually I stay without my devices for at least a couple of hours everyday. Either when I play or read or walk and it's is wonderful. This constant connectivity really kills me. And believe it or not I have a theory that when you call someone and they don't pick it up, when you mail someone and they don't respond immediately, when you ping someone and the response is slow, when the internet doesn't give you a page you want to browse, the compounded rejection in a lifetime causes as much stress and unhappiness as a broken heart. It's just my graphic way of viewing the world and perhaps my intense dislike for phones that ring and slow internet has a lot to do with this.

I am now wondering how I can disconnect more. How I get rid of the hours I spend watching TV or browsing the net or looking at my phone and what other things I can do in that time. I mean, there ought to be other forms of entertainment and a couple of hours day should be enough for those. Let me go figure.

Amar chitra katha

I'm a huge fan if Aman chitra katha. I have a lot of pleasant childhood memories reading the same and I have been hoping to get the entire collection for ages now. Thanks to flipkarts billion dollar sale, I managed to get it for half price. Plus with an EMI of a year, it is so light in the pocket. I'm so happy and I've been reading a lot of the books this weekend. It came in already and as ever, the only thing I ever buy online continues to be books. Tintin, asterix and now this... All brand new and all at 50%. I love online shopping.

From the streets

Yesterday, we went to feed our stray pups and noticed that all of them had infections due to their living conditions. My resolve to move them was so great I was tempted enough to move them home. I decided to satisfy myself with getting medicines for them and applying it. Just when we were about to leave, a neighbour came to where we were, with a tiny pup he'd almost run over,as it was in the middle of the road. She was so starved and tiny and I almost started crying. She started wagging her tail when she felt me (as I had fed her once and she I like to think remembered me.) We brought her home and then she did not know how to drink from a bowl. I spent sometime showing her how to drink and she was actually starting to look alive after our doggie cerelac meal. I called up some more NGOs wondering how to care for a sick pup without mothers milk.
Thankfully, one NGO was ok picking her up and they were kind enough to be ready to accommodate the other four as well. We had a major adventure trying to get all 4 along with hope into the car and then driving 40kms to the other end of bangalore. Still, am now so happy that they're moved and I would like to hope they find homes soon. These dogs deserve so much more.

Thursday, October 09, 2014

The morning people

They tell me I love the night as I am lazy and haven't experienced the effectiveness of the morning. I don't mind waking up early. I'm actually up by 7 most days now and 630 on some days. But, I love the nights. I love the silence and I love the dark. I can't understand the morning people and though I'm not becoming one, I am trying to see if fitness can be achieved one way or the other.

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

The mystery of the missing dog

I am having a very crazy week at work. My training starts at 7 and I have regular work which goes on till 5-6 and then, I have some more work in the evening. I am loving it. Really. I have learnt a lot. But the flipside is, I am not walking my dogs in the morning as I usually would and I getting very less time with them. They dont wake up before 7 and I think 4 days with my darling husband walking them is not going to kill them.

We leave for work during a break and leave the maid to lock up this week. Today, we come home in the evening later than usual and I only see Laika outside crying. I was so surprised and shocked as Zoya is not the one who usually runs away and Laika would never let her do it alone. I run inside the house and open the door and Zoya comes running out. She has been accidentally locked up inside the house and lasted more than 8 hours without damaging anything except a few things we had made a mistake of leaving in the ground. Their toothbrush, my chappal and a very unfortunate lego. All the books lying around, my sofa, soft toys, bedsheets, were untouched. She hadnt even dirtied the house.

She was crying at being seperated from Laika. I felt so bad and shocked at my maids carelessness. But thankfully both were fine in a few minutes and continued playing. Zoya was a little clingier than usual for a couple of hours but it was fine. The missing dog is an angel. I mean, when I am inside the house, she tries to go exploring at times and she dirties our porch at random times. She did not do anything today. And, she was fine after being locked up inside a house while Laika was in her car porch for so long. I am happy.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

The world in a blade of grass

When I was in school, there was a story. The last line had a thought which has stuck with me for so many years. The crux was that, man can do whatever he wants, but he can never recreate even a blade of grass. Now, a lot of people will argue this point with me and I really am not ready for the debate.

While walking the dogs today, I let Laika play in a patch of grass. She kept sniffing and started eating the Indian grass on the patch of Korean grass. I usually dont watch her for too long and ask her to walk without lounging. But today thanks to my splitting headache, the air was doing me a lot of good and I kept watching her. She had such a pleasurable time and then came to me herself signalling me to go. It was nice to watch her and it did remind me that the extent to which animals connect with nature and enjoy the moment, I am not able to. I am trying to take each day one second at a time and not worry too much. For whatever has to happen, will happen and I am leaving all of the worrying to him up above.

Maya - a silver lining

One morning, when we were walking the terrible two some, a tiny puppy came running. Laika started growling and she got scared and ran far away. We saw her two days later from a distance trying to make friends with everybody walking by. People walked past and some tried to scare her away. I went looking for her in the evening and she was missing. I thought the rains or the big bad dogs finally got to her. I felt bad but forgot about her after seeing 6 more pups. A friend of mine had come down for navrathri and she was a dog lover whose dog had passed away recently. So i took her to see the 6 pups and on the way back, this one comes running and when we say hi, just turns over and rolls. She loved being petted and so badly wanted the human touch. She hung on to my friends leg and her eyes, were oh so beautiful. I have no clue as to how she managed to fend for herself at such a young age. She was taken home and suitably christened Maya. When I next see a pup and feel hopeless, I am going to remember how Maya found a home and remember that kindness exists somewhere and be happy about it.

From futility to hope

The other day, I was driving back from work and I saw this dog with some 6 pups. All tiny and active. I remembered the dog as a pup because I had initially mistaken her to be Zoya's sibling. She is infact hardly a pup herself. Maybe around 10 months old. Now she has a litter herself. I spoke to a neighbour who wanted pups for his farm and he is thinking about picking two up. When I went in search of them, I saw 4 more pups which were slightly older. Then the 11th, which is another story altogether. But these 10, I was so upset. I mean, I see my dogs everyday, I see how much happiness I get from them and how healthy they are because they are fed and taken to the vet and inside the house. The same dogs which could have had a different life if they hadn't had a home.

I am trying to get these pups adopted and will definitely have the mothers neutered. But in the meanwhile, while I was wondering how to live with seeing them everyday in the roads, I decided to do something about it and go ahead and feed them something in the evenings. I have done that for two days and I am going to do it for many more. I am still working out details on how to manage when I am out of town, but I am sure something will come up.

I am trying to do something about things instead of feeling bad. I am trying to be the change I want to be. I just hope I don't let myself down.