Saturday, November 29, 2014

The return of the cough

So, I thought I had recovered yesterday. Even went to a shop to buy cycling gear  I was planning on using today. All to no avail. I am back in the bead coughing my head away and wondering who I displeased and how despite taking all tablets like an angel this throat pain has not gone away. What do I do now?

Friday, November 28, 2014

Fears

Were all governed by multiple fears. Over the past few months, one has given me a few sleepless nights. Today, I feel it was unfounded. As I was driving back home alone in traffic I realised that by simulating scenarios I've forgotten quite often to enjoy and appreciate the present. I've made myself feel older and tired for no end I can see. I'm going to let go of my fears and live in the moment. It's far more enjoyable. And stress free.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Silences

So, I haven't been able to speak since today morning. I can but not without major difficulty. Since I haven't eaten much since yesterday, I am also pretty weak. I have been extraordinarily silent and just spoke to a customer care executive about an order I was placing online.

I am enjoying this silence. I am not at all used to it and I am still using google chat/ communicator to communicate but I am wondering if I should just stop talking completely. It takes off so much of stress and makes me feel at peace with myself.

Companionship

I've been unwell from Sunday. On Monday night, I woke up in the middle as i was feeling extraordinarily cold and was shivering. I sat up and noticed that Laika was standing and watching me. She was fast asleep when I had gone to bed and she must have woken up sensing that I was awake. I went and sat down next to her and Zoya.

They snuggled up to me and I felt better. They walked down with me as I went to grab a glass of hot water and stayed by my side of the bed until I went to sleep. It is so amazing to have two lovely creatures who without speaking a word make you feel way better.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Monkey menace

We have a banana tree in the backyard and there are a lot of free willed monkeys in the area I live. So, you must realise how popular we are and how many visitors are dying for our attention. Today, my dear husband decided to chase a couple of monkeys away.

We have an open kitchen and these crazy dogs are not allowed into it. They never try to come in either. However, when Sachin was busy chasing monkeys today, he did not notice one that was behind him and was about to jump on him. The two warriors ran to his rescue and chased all the monkeys away. While Laika came back after the monkeys vacated our house, Zoya decided that until the monkeys had been kicked out of the entire row, her job was not done and she jumped through this railing and continued chasing the monkeys (yes, right through it) :



I feel she has a future in a circus or as a show dog. Any thoughts?

Monday, November 24, 2014

Excitement

Sometimes in life, you think you do not want something. One day, you realise that you almost have it. Then you actually have it. Finally, you are on top of the world. For a day, a week, maybe even a month. Then you start the chase again.

What is the point of it all? I am not saying ambition is bad. But I am wondering as to when the race would stop. When the adrenaline will cease to be the important and when a sense of calm will prevail. I am going to reconsider some priorities because finally i feel that the chase, the thrill is just too monotonous for me.

Back to Nature

My dear brother in law took us to an awesome farm for his birthday. He wants to propogate the organic way of life and he took us to this amazing farm (part of green path) to show us how easy it is to live in harmony with Nature.

I walked amid huge trees, saw a tiny water body in the middle of the farm and had fun eating healthy traditional Kannadiga food. Just thinking about the food makes me hungry. I am wondering about the whole point of this rat race I have become a part of. I want to let go of it all and go and live somewhere far away from all forms of electronics for a long long time. Someday, I am sure I will realise that dream. Until then, I am going to try and grow my own vegetables.

If the owner of the farm is to be believed, in 3-4 months, any family can become completely self sustainable in terms of vegetables they need. I am not sure if i will be, but i want to give it a try.

Mahabalipuram - a symphony in stone

We managed to sneak a trip to Mahabalipuram last week. It was so beautiful. I have gone there as a child but the memories of the place arent as fresh as the memories of the trip and the company. It was amazing going around with Sachin and seeing the sights and souds. A few pictures:

The Kovalam beach in Mahabalipuram. Beaches make my heart miss a beat.

One of the five rathas. The rathas are named after the Pandavas and Draupadi. Nakula and Sahadeva got just one. This picture is of Arjuna's ratha. They are all monoliths and they are so majestic. I spent some 30 minutes in the place just breathing the beauty in. Most of the other ratha pictures have us somewhere in the background, so I am not putting it up here. :)

Descent of the ganges(one part of it). If you look closely, you will see Ganges descending on Bhagirathas head. This carving is also supposed to represent Arjuna's tapasya to get Shivas bow. But I never could figure out where Arjuna was and since i love the Bharagiratha story, this to me becomes the descent of the ganges


Since I am sending this from my email, I am not going to risk sending more pictures. But I am so proud of what I saw and felt there.

I am going to research more about Tamil architecture and feel proud of my heritage and try to preserve it.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Travel

For the rest of this year, I have a lot of travel lined up. I am heading to an engagement in Chennai, then perhaps going to Mahabalipuram, Mallappuram for a wedding, Madurai, Tanjore, Kanyakumari on a road trip, hopefully Kabini for a couple of days and we start the next year with Badami and Aihole.

I am really looking forward to the travel as we decided to travel locally rather than go abroad. I want to experience different types of things - architecture, temples, beaches, wildlife etc.

I hope it works out and I can have a long and happy vacation. :)

The best laid plans

I thought I had my life all mapped out. Relatively at least. But the last few days make me wonder if a human being can even plan. I mean, the contingencies in life are so many and however detailed you think your plan is, something as minor as somebody changing their mind can change your life. :)

But anyway, that being said, I am wondering if i should be a little more flexible leading me to see a lot more possibilities or if i should be rigid about a few things and seeing only those that matter there. I really do not know. If anything I am getting to know for sure how exciting life can really be and how many opportunities abound in the world. How many things are there waiting for you to greet them and hold them and how all it needs to see it is to lift ones head from a computer screen.

Admission Criteria

When we take these guys for a walk, we often meet some dog lovers. We have found a 1.5 yr old now who is super active and loving. Her older sister is maybe around 4 and she is a little scared of these two. I chat up with her mom frequently and we discuss a variety of topics.  Today, for the first time, I asked where the kid went to school. She was in primary and went to a famous school near by.

The mom then told me about a few admission horror stories. My favorite one was about this ridiculous rule in a school which makes me want to slap a law suit on them. The teacher initially refused the application form because the kid was born in November. Then since the mother insisted, she told her that the other criteria of the school are even stricter. The mother of the kid has to be a housewife and the father should earn more than 2 L per month. Pay slips have to be provided. A working mother is acceptable only if she is a doctor or is in a flexible role that allows her either social standing or proven responsibility.

I find the rule to be super sexist. What if the mother wants to work and the dad doesnt? How can they dictate the salary levels? And seriously I cant get over this - how can they subscribe the need for a housewife? I have nothing against house wives. I can really see the need for them in a lot of cases when there is no social support to bring up a kid. But this rule is insulting in two ways:

1. It assumes a working mother cant take care of her child
2. It assumes only a male is a provider and he cannot be a caregiver.

Another interesting rule, they refuse applications from children of people who work in the press. This is a very famous school in Bangalore. I wonder what i should do about this. :|

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Closer and sadder

We went to bannerghatta zoo today. We were not able to do the safari as we reached late but I got to look at most animals. I loved the wolves as they reminded me so much of laika.

While we were closer to the animal kingdom and I got to see so many animals I was also sad as a lot of birds were caged and so many animals were in enclosures while they should be free in the wild.

But considering that were trying to catch a cobra that's near my house right now I'm wondering of well be able to adapt if we have to live closer to animals.
The pics are of the caged and the free snake.

Following the heart

Everyone melts invariably when they hear about somebody following their heart. Even the most cynical person at some corner of their heart appreciates it. But I often wonder as to how do you know what the heart wants. And frankly when reason collides with passion I'm confused. I doubt the passion and then I feel that I'm not passionate enough. I forget about it for a few days and then the battle begins again. Why can't reason and passion meet midway?

Friday, November 14, 2014

The virtual word

Today, I ordered groceries online - again. This month, i have ordered it thrice. I had ordered the monthly essentials online and it was so easy to pick items and wait for it at home rather than in the store. I was doubtful about the quality of items but thankfully it was pretty good and I was relieved. I continued ordered even weekly stuff online and if the quality remains so, I think Zopnow has a convert. I would rather shop online and spend the time I would have at a grocery store (travelling, picking things, waiting in the queue and finally buying and driving back) on other things.

My only issue is that sometimes, items i want are not available and we do not get it. Since I am not a very particular house keeper, I think it is ok for now. How things change in the future is still up for discussion.

Another interesting thing I noticed just today, these guys have dog food as well. They dont have the brand i prefer but I am sure with time they would But the thing is, i love taking them to the pet shop as the owner is extremely sweet. They are also given a bath and i stock up for a month. I wonder if someday, the virtual world will replace that. I really doubt it, as I love the attention these guys get there.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

The lookouts

As a friend drove past our house the two devils stood and watched him pass by and then waited until he entered the house before becoming four legged again! :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Sunday, November 09, 2014

A time to feast

I am a big foodie. I worship food and there was once a time when I went to a restaurant every weekend. Rather every day of the weekend. I still eat out a lot. But not as much as i used to. I have actually lost all interest as the quality of food has become so pathetic in most places I eat and I just dont feel like eating there. I wonder how the restaurants ever sleep easy. Considering the many stomachs they ruin every single day and some lives they perhaps cut short in the name of profit. I guess there are a lot of businesses that do run like this.

Bangalore which I used to adore for its variety has become a place I no longer trust. I wonder why things have to change so much and so badly. My time to feast outside is over but I do feast at my own house. I cook everyday and on days I dont feel like, I get my maid to make me stuff. This has worked out pretty well for a few weeks now and I love what I am eating. Everyday feels like a feast. I just wish Bangalore goes back to maintaining the quality it did and makes me fall in love with variety again.

Accidents galore

We have converted our car porch from having concrete to having a granite base. It looks lovely. But, Zoya does not think it should smell so too. She ends up peeing there once in a blue moon. Today, was a double bonanza and i had washed it before leaving to the doctors. We came back a few hours later and went in with the monsters to await the gas delivery man.

He did come and i was sitting and watching modern family when there was a loud noise. Sachin called out and i rushed out to see blood in the car porch and the cylinder on the floor. The man had slipped and fallen on the floor. We did not have cotton at home and i rushed to get it from the neighbor. His head wasnt hurt and the bleeding in his leg had stopped so we could bade him goodbye.

Nobody had ever slipped before and we were too shocked for a few minutes to react. I ended up mopping the place and hoping my maid also does that every day.

Friday, November 07, 2014

Thanking him

We are trying to write a book. In an attempt to get back to writing, I wanted to write something semi - autobiographical and so I have been trying to revisit my childhood. I realized how much I had enjoyed the smaller things I had then. A cake, a bhel puri seemed like such a great deal then. A trip to Chennai to spend time with my cousins that happened some 15 years ago, is so fresh in my mind. Then, going to a theatre was a great incident.

I eat out so frequently now. Any cuisine I think of, I can eat it in any kind of setting. I go around all over the country and I stay in the most wonderful of places. I watch movies in my home theatre or at good movie halls. Still, I am not as thankful as i used to be for what i have and what i get.

I wonder why. Where did i lose gratitude along the way? I want to thank him for all that he has given me and I am surprised that spending a few minutes thanking him doesnt happen every day. I am working on making sure I set aside sometime everyday to be thankful for all my blessings.

The games Laika plays

We love our house. It is the perfect refuge from everything and we love spending hours at home. Either in the terrace or lounging in front of the tv - you get the drift. We misplace things but we always end up finding them and we also think, our house is doggie proof. We think we are in control and we know what these guys would destroy and what they wouldnt. We have been convinced that as long as cupboards are locked and doors closed, we are doggie proof.

We went out to play badminton with that assumption one day last week. The court is pretty close to our house and we can always watch the house from the court, just in case some unsuspecting innocent is chased by the goons who live in our house. Usually, Laika howls to her hearts content when we are in the court We used to take the two along and tie them in a house nearby and play. They would play with each other or just watch us. Until we realised a few folks were uncomfortable with having dogs around and these two were no longer the small pups they were. So, we stopped taking her and she never, ever let us forget that she belonged in the court.

That day, she was strangely silent for quite some time and we congratulated ourselves on our ability to make her get over her obsession with the court. Now, did i tell you we have a shoe rack in the place we have gated to keep our beauties? It was one of the many pieces of furniture we designed and got built.

I come back from playing while Sachins chatting with a neighbour and I see Laika with something brown in her mouth and a brand new shoe right next to her. I wonder how she got a new shoe and I am thinking that someone has thrown it on her when Sachin comes back and shreiks "How did she get it?" I give him a puzzled look and he is like, "Thats my Hush puppies shoe which i got recently. How did she get it?" The door of the shoe rack is closed and we go in and open the shoe rack, so there we see the pair and Laika comes near us as though nothing has happened. How did she even manage opening and closing the door, we will never know. She is just an incorrigible dog.

Ek Villain

I was watching a few scenes from this movie. (It really is not my kinda movie, so no way I would watch it). The villain kills people who are rude as his wife is always shouting at home. I dont want to kill rude people as that really does not achieve anything. The world would be a better place if people are polite. If they are not, it is going to be very unpleasant, sometimes intolerable, but yeah, i am not psycho enough to think killing is going to solve my problems. It might solve for that person but I have noticed negativity and rudeness are like a disease. They keep spreading and never truly go away. The only way to tackle them is to combat it with politeness. I met a few really polite people today and they had such a nice way of telling me things I did not want to hear. :)

I wish everyone can learn to be polite and not be a villain. I am trying everyday to be the person my dogs think i am. A heroine. :)

Thursday, November 06, 2014

Change

I always thought that I could adapt to change effortlessly and that my risk appetite was low, which was why I was scared of the change.

But lately, I am wondering if i am even interested in making a change because I am so in love with the comforts I have created for myself. Is it wrong to seek comfort? Or is it wrong to keep seeking even if I am not dissatisfied with what I have in hand? I really dont know. Or am I actually seeking only to realise this is going to be as good as it gets because life is multi dimensional and what looks good from one angle need not remain so from others? I dont know and I am wondering right now.

I am wondering if i really know myself and if my judgements about me have been off in the first place.

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

If you don't like dogs

I saw this cute pic of a dog in fb. Its caption reads " If you don't like dogs, I don't like you. "

Now I couldn't agree with this. One thing my dogs have taught me is acceptance.
Accept any food and eat it like it'll disappear if you stop.
Accept being made to wait or any discomfort and still jump at joy on seeing the owner.
Accept a dressing down and come back in a bit to unleash love.
Accept a bad mood and try to make it go away with a lick or a tail wag.
Accept any kind of walk and enjoy the wind, the paper that can be salvaged, the bird that's hopping and anything else with equal relish.

The unconditional acceptance makes me want to be a better person and makes me realize every single day that the world looks different for all of us and that its a beautiful place.
If you don't like my dogs, I won't dislike you but I'll feel sorry for what you will miss in life. :D

Sunday, November 02, 2014

How old are you - makes you think

I've been meaning to watch this movie for quite some time now and I finally got around to it this weekend. I actually loved the experience. The plot follows a 36 year old housewife who has dedicated her life to her husband and kid. The husband wants to settle in Ireland and has managed to find a job for himself there. He cannot take her on a dependent visa and he wants her to find a job for herself. She is unable to do so as she is found to be too old and she faces issues with her daughter who dreams of living abroad. She owns up to an accident has husband has committed but things get out of hand as her licence is not valid and she might be jailed. Her ungrateful husband throws her to the dogs and she is scared when she is called to meet the IG. The IG reveals that a question she daughter asked in her school has impressed the president of India and he wants to meet her. The IG office takes care of the case and she is all set to meet the president. She faints on seeing him and her life takes a turn for the worse. Her family leaves the country without her and she meets her friend who reminds her of the girl she once was. How she turns her life around forms the rest of the story.

Manju warrier is amazing. She is so perfect in the role and I have fallen in love with her perfection. The plot of the movie is simple and though unbelievable in places it's not too overboard. The music is a good dressing and I found it pretty pleasant. The movies got a brilliant cast and everybody including the snide lady who makes the heroines life hell and the in laws, daughter and husband have done a good job.

The larger question the movie poses around when a women's dreams expire is very close to my heart. I've been lucky enough to be able to chase my dreams but I know enough who haven't been able to. Like the woman who's ready to drop everything the moment she hears her daughter cry, like the woman who is looked down by her husband and thought to be not good enough, like the woman who doesn't even know how to dream any more, I know there are enough. Even if just a few start thinking about their dreams after watching this movie, I think it's more than enough. Life changes one day at a time, one person at a time.

Motherly instinct

There's another indian dog in my community. He's a sweetheart and loves playing with the jokers. A new pugs come and I am usually doubtful about how these two get along with smaller dogs so their interaction has been limited. Now the other one is super friendly and the two were playing for sometime.

Now when dogs play they nip. They don't mean to bite but that's how they play. The pug lady did not see her husband letting the two dogs to play and she came running when she thought her dog was being bitten. She started hitting the poor dog and did not stop even when the owner came to take him away. The owner got beaten too. She justified it later calling it a mothers instinct.

I wasn't around when the incident happened. Someone who saw it told me and asked me to be careful around these guys. Though I stand by my friend, I am actually able to see both sides in this case and I do wish life was less biased. But the truth is everyone has some bias or the other. There are those biased against dogs. There are dog lovers who are scared of big dogs. We can try to be enlighten edge and get over a few of our biases but it's not always going to be easy. We at least have to try.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

There is a god somewhere

Every where I turn I see something bad.
Everything I hear, there are traces of negativity
Everything I do, something disturbs me
It's one of those days I try to claim
Then I look up to the sky and see him smile

He tells me how much is in my mind
How clouded is my sight
And how, poisoned my words
There is a god somewhere
Watching over me
And I really want to be the wonderful person
He made me to be.
Neither success nor fame nor all the wealth in the world
Can save someone who sees the negatives
Neither failure nor infamy nor poverty
Will kill a soul that wants to shine

There is a god somewhere who has given me
The right emotions and let me choose
How I react
My dear God I want to be how you wanted me to be
From this moment
From this second
I am going to try.