Friday, February 12, 2016

Point of view

Everyone is entitled to their point of view. Recent incidents have made me realize that what caused heart ache was not my perception of the incidents, but what I thought we were perceived as.

If I get down to it, worrying about the perception of others is like going down the rabbit hole, or the staircase that comes in unwritten. To some extent, we can control perceptions. But for the most part, we can't. Perceptions are dictated by opinions and experiences people have had.
Biases which exist for eons without us even being aware of it, cannot be changed or even influenced through minimal interactions. Like attracts like. Some people want to gang up with others that think similarly in a certain aspect and crush the rest that don't because they want a validation that their opinion is correct.

Everyone wants a validation for their existence and for actions they take.

I read Tolstoy's anguished commentary a while ago, where he debates the point of everything. When someone like him, at the peak of his glory can have so many questions, how much more would normal human beings have?

How can I even begin to think that it's possible to know a person or how they'd react? How can I expect people to confirm to certain behavioral norms that I think is right or acceptable based on my biases? How can I expect anything basic in a personal relationship when basic is itself relative? I'm mainly referring to acquaintances. I'm not talking about family or friends. One you can't help what you're born with and the other is your choice to live with or lose.

Most conflicts come in when you're trying to form the relationships. Some differences can be tolerated and the others, cannot. It has to break at one point of time or the other.

Maybe, it's easier to just let things be. It might not be such a bad idea to ignore and move on.


The Visitor said...

Perceptions are dictated by opinions and experiences people have had.
The ideas expressed in this post resonate perfectly with mine, including the Tolstoy analogy. Loved this post.

The Visitor said...

Hey! Look what I stumbled upon today ... New learning sometimes (no, no, probably more-often is the right word) requires unlearning

Harini Padmanabhan said...

Thank you. It came from a position of deep contemplation. I am really trying to inculcate a few things I speak about. :)