I am a strong believer in the adage that everything happens for a reason. Even if I am down in the dumps, I always come back convinced that regrets dont help and that every single thing that has happened, has happened for me a) to either get to know myself better or b) to appreciate my life, or c)to know who my friends are or d)to make me stronger. I used to think I am cynical (which perhaps I am), but I am a philosopher and an optimist more than anything else. So shoot me if I am not upset about something I ought to be upset about.
I have been taking a few hard decisions over the past few weeks/months. In some cases, they question my fundamental understanding of who I am and what I really like vs. what I think I like. For someone who used to think that I really knew what I wanted, accepting that perhaps that was not what was ideal for me in the first place is a very difficult thing. But then, can i regret either what I wanted or what I had or what I want and what I have or what I am ready to sacrifice for what I will have?I really cannot. When I look at the whole picture, I have to accept that if I did not want what I wanted then, I would not have had what I had; and without that, I would not have known what more I wanted and I cannot get, what I have or what I will get. Makes sense?
It will if you think of a painting. The inter relationship between the colors is so very essential for the final work.
Or of a constantly growing jigsaw puzzle with many straight edges. We make sense of the jigsaw by creating the outer ring first. That is so much easier right? But what if the jigsaw puzzle has a lot of such straight sides - even in the middle of the puzzle? That is how life is. It keeps becoming bigger and better and what was once an area of focus just fades away. You cant help having focused on it, because without the focus, there is no completion at that point. But thats not the only thing. The picture grows. You as an individual, the jigsaw, keep growing and becoming different. Accept it and move on. Stop contemplating the what was, what could have been. There are so many things coming up, in the unique tapestry that is your life.
You want to add regrets to the mix? You are welcome to that, but that really does not help in anything except slow you down and take your eyes off the prize.
Like Richard Bach says in Illusions, ""You are led through your lifetime by the inner learning creature, the playful spiritual being that is your real self. Don't turn away from possible futures before you're certain you don't have anything to learn from them. You're always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past."
(Maybe I should stop contemplating so much. :))