You know that person that wakes up every single day wanting to achieve something? The one usually called a fiend for their working style? The one that just cannot stop going on and on and is just restless all the time? That is me. Your typical hardworking, in love with the chase individual. (Only time I relax is when I am reading. Even then, I am reading multiple books. I finished 8 books one weekend this month)
Now, I cannot let go of anything I set my mind to. I think about it night and day, forsaking food and sleep in a few cases, because these things just do not matter when something else is out there, that is waiting to be done. I am obsessive and everyone around me knows how crazy I can get when I am on one of my projects. It could be something at work, training my dog, cleaning the house or even writing something.
There is one problem with the chase. It ends. One way or the other. Either I get what I want or I realize I will never get what I want. Here is the funny thing. After either outcome, I take a tiny break and then start all over again, with some new goal. My obsessions and addictions are so temporary and fleeting. (Could be something I worked towards for years as well, but in a long run, everything is so tiny no?)
Is it such a bad thing to be always chasing something? Or like my friend says, should I actually find something that drives me all through my life? Writing has been something I have loved and hated over the years. So, perhaps, that is the chase that will continue to thrill me and every other thing is a means to that end. Perhaps, that will change.
I seem to have wondered about the same thing three years ago. It is eerie that I have not changed an iota in all these years in this aspect. Yeah, butterfly, flit around and have fun.
Like Tolstoy says, "Pleasure lies not in discovering truth but in seeking it"