Often, when we are confused, we do things that we would not have done normally. Now, I dont think this is a sign of weakness, because the thought still belongs to you and I am someone who thinks that the thought is as bad/as good as the act.(please dont get into an argument over this. I have a theory on parallel universes where your deepest thoughts manifest and you are up to no good in that one anyway. Blame Sandman and his too real nightmares for this)
I have been doing a lot of abnormal things lately (normal for me as my friend keeps remarking) and today, while I was reading Lillim's attempts to kill the Lord of Death, I realized that ultimately, I needed the experience to realize that what I have, is as good as it is going to get. Now, for someone as insanely driven as me, accepting that something is good enough is a big deal. I have finally accepted it. It can definitely become better, but only by itself (all that energy is not going away so easily!).
Not by including something else from outside. This phase of my life, is called "Defining a new perfection"
I know that a few of my sins are waiting to come back and bite me in bum when I least expect them to, but given how life keeps making me grow up and wear big girl pants, I think, I will survive.
Looking at the way Laika stares into my eyes, I am convinced, I did something right, not too long ago.