Tuesday, April 05, 2016


Vanity about my appearance was never my vice. I never knew there were jeans just for women. Over a period of time, I have started trying to look a little better groomed because sometimes, only then do people take you seriously. Anyway, all this rambling was to just drive home one point - I have never given importance to my appearance. I always felt it was secondary to who I am. My brain and other things took precedence.

The last one week, has opened my eyes to a reality of a different sort. I have bleeding lips thanks to the vitamin deficiency and me, the person that doesn't care about how I look usually, is hating getting out of bed and going to see people. (That means I am hiding under the bedsheet, wailing and making life difficult for anyone trying to come near me when I wake up. Zoya is confused. For a change,she wants the walk more than I do.)

I mean, I do look like a vampire that just finished feasting on young meat. Perhaps, I am going to scare a few people away. (Not perhaps, I am definitely going to scare people away). I have looked scarier in the past (walking 2 dogs with uncombed hair can look super scary, let me tell you). But this was a different feeling. I felt incomplete and so unhappy to be going to face the world looking like that. Not to mention the fact that lack of food was also driving me crazy. I can rationalize it now ( I still look like a vampire). It was my reluctance to go to office looking like this that was my wake up call (I love going to work. It makes my day!)

If someone like me with oodles of self confidence and usual devil may care attitude can be ashamed of one's appearance and scared to face the world, what about people who dont know any better? Have we screwed everyone's heads with a certain vision of beauty? Is there any way around this? Is breaking all mirrors (metaphorically) the only solution? Beauty is seriously over rated. (I am sitting in office and staring at anyone who stares at me though I am grimacing internally)

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