Monday, June 27, 2016

Inner Peace

They say that a lot of people in the world are depressed. I used to wonder why they dont just talk their emotions out and make sense of them.

Then I realize that it is not that simple because, what happens to the problem, depends on the end recipient and it is not always a pretty picture. 

In India, counselling is still not that easily accessible and confiding in family/friends is how we typically prefer to solve things. A few things I have seen happen that could be preventing opening up when there is someone waiting to talk to you: 

1. People are surprised that others are actually talking about something so personal with someone who has no clue what is happening and why they are being confided in 
2. Some are secretly glad that the person's life is not as perfect as it seems
3. Some try to offer half-hearted advice to sound concerned and genuine. 
4. Sometimes, people who should actually be there for you, use that opportunity to point out all your flaws without really listening or being there for you. I guess, no matter how important someone seems, they just cant let go of an opportunity to critcize
5. People are lost in their own issues which are sometimes bigger than yours and cant really be there for you. 

I am sure there are a lot of other things that happen and that scares me. The kind of anger and sorrow building within people, that can cause a lot of damage, can actually be taken care of with someone just listening to them, not judging and someone being there for them. 

Has living away from family and having friends who prefer to be around you just to have fun screwed up the society much more than we would like to admit? And are the supposed relationships we cultivate with like minded people, actually making us more closed to different view points which can help us cope better? 

Take being stuck in a bad job for example. If you are with people who do a job because it gets you an income, you will think it is normal and do something that kills you a little every day. 

Meeting someone who can actually tell you that doing what you like, even if it is not very very lucrative might actually change your mind - about being stuck in doing something you dont enjoy to accumulate things you dont really need. 

As I look around me everywhere, I accept that I know very few happy people. Some are unhappy because of their jobs, some because of their spouses, some because they dont have a spouse, some because of the money they cant spend, some because of the money they spend, some because of their children, some because they dont have children..The list is endless and very very scary. 

I wonder if we are all doomed to be unhappy and stuck in creating an image that looks great from outside but is broken within. I refuse to accept that, because I still believe that within each of us, there is an infinite capacity for happiness and no matter how bad it might seem, we need to get out of things, habits, relationships and jobs that dont bring out the best in us. If we are not able to derive happiness from the world, then it is ok to be selfish and define a new definition of happiness, that might make sense for just us, even if it is not accepted by everyone. Not letting the society dictate what is right can take away half the problems.

Funnily, though this generation claims to be one that breaks conventions, it is stuck in scarier conventions and with doing things that are far more self destructive. Maybe, it all boils down to finding out what makes us happy and maximizing that happiness.

Like Po in Kung Fu Panda, we all need to figure out a way that is going to give us that inner peace. It could be a pet, it could be a way to express creativity, it could be being alone.. But we need to figure out what works and it is as simple as that. 

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