"Here's where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let's make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let's make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don't need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own 'happily ever after' for ourselves"
The quote above was by Jennifer Aniston. Now most people who know me or follow my blog know I'm not star stuck(shahrukh has a piece of my heart but I'm not crazy about him to be honest. Just works that I like him more than the rest). So quoting a celebrity(I meant the TV kind) is the last thing I'm supposed to do. Still this line of hers stuck a chord with me. I really feel that somewhere along the way we've all become so lost in text book definitions(didn't I rant about this last week?) that we've forgotten a very basic thing. Individuals are as similar as they're different. Everyone has their own version of happily ever after seems to be a nice thing to say. (the cynic in me says ever after is over rated)
Last night, when I was talking to someone(a very enjoyable conversation), I realized something. I've been yapping about text book definitions all the while, been aware of biases and still not been trying to get to know a few types of people(there's also the other fact that I've to stay in touch with those I already know)
I'm letting my existing biases cloud my head unintentionally. No matter how many times I come to this conclusion and go through a whole de biasing exercise, somethings happen to shake my foundation again.
I'm not going to become an Aniston fan overnight and go watch friends. But I'm going to derive joy in the knowledge that a celebrity who's so different from me also does agree with me on a few things. Even one that looks picture perfect. I don't want to hear the whole motherhood is a joy line from someone again. All of us deserve our own version of happiness and should learn to accept that what gives us joy might not be what someone else seeks. Of course, if you seek joy with that person, then it's going to be tricky.
I can find my own happily ever after, I'm not sure what my path is going to be and I'm going to promise myself to try and derive joy in ways that make sense to me.