Monday, August 29, 2016
Sunday, August 28, 2016
I watched TV after a two week hiatus. I saw these really great ads for Havells.
The first one is of a kid studying in the flickering light and this lady sets him up with a light from her house. He feels his book light up, looks at her and smiles.
The second is of a girl standing outside a saree shop alone and asking someone to come soon and pick her up because it was dark. The shop owner runs in SVD switches on the light. They share a smile. I love both these ads. It reminds me how the smaller things in life sometimes mean a lot. Also about how a story can be told in a matter of minutes. Beautiful. Keep it up whoever you are.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Today, I was browsing Facebook(I'm one of those daily browsers who doesn't post much in terms of content. Or so I like to think) when I came across a friend suggestion. This lady was wearing a short skirt and hugging a tree. I couldn't recognize her at first. Later I realized, this was one of my neighbors whom I'd never spoken to, possibly because I'd pegged her as very conservative. Then, I spent sometime looking at the Facebook profile pictures of my friends. I realized something interesting. We all have a mental image of ourselves and sometimes, that might be in complete contrast to how the world sees us. We could be chirpy, pretty, sensible, angry, sexy, youthful, serious, old, patient, impatient, etc etc. We try to portray that through images and in a controlled environment like Facebook, we work on our pictures to express ourselves. We can't always be how we see ourselves to be. But the times we are, we can definitely preserve that memory.
How I see myself has changed so much over the years that sometimes, it doesn't make any sense to me at all. The girl from 5 years back, might actually find me quite irritating now and the current me is finding that funny. I wish there's a way to plot mental image evolution. If only I can look into people's heads and see how they see themselves. It will be fun.
Friday, August 19, 2016
Every time I read the word ornery, my brain usually replaces it with ordinary. I don't understand why that happens. Given that one means bad tempered and the other just means something average, I often wonder.
I remember the first time I read the word. It was when I was reading William. Someone called him an ornery boy. Anyone who has read William knows that the author uses a very colloquial way of writing. But still, ordinary did not sit well in that sentence.
I found the meaning and I did remember it.
Perhaps because I knew ordinary first, it still doesn't register. Maybe I should try using ornery in more sentences and let it stay in my head. Hmmm
There are days
When a lobophile hates words
There are days
When a foodie starves, willingly
There are days
When conversations seem pointless
There are days
When nothing makes sense
There are days
When the pain makes you forget
Every single pleasure
But these are the days
That exist to remind you
Of all that's also good in the world
For you can't identify the light
Without the darkness
You can't value love
Without the pain
You can't value words
Without the silences
And you can't value companionship
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
I've been rereading Sophie's world. This was one book I absolutely fell madly in love with when I was very impressionable(sometimes I think I still am). Anyway, reading it makes me wonder about eternity. Are we all just forms that come together, because we're what we're perceived to be? If there are no perceptions, if there are no judgements, how would we be? How much of our physical form is inseparable from our mental view of who we are? Would we look different, act different if we thought of ourselves differently? Given that even millennia are meaningless when we think of eternity, can a few seconds actually be equivalent to millennia?
These are all random unrelated questions, but perhaps they are related, in that they all came from me in this exact same order.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
I am in love with valparai and sethumadai. We ended up here when we least expected it and this trip has been such a revelation. I realize how much more I can do and see what all I can possibly do with life. When you least expect it, life throws surprises your way and if you're ready to embrace it, you get rewarded in ways you never thought possible. A wise person told me, you might not get what you want, but you'll get what you deserve. That's what I believe in too and if anything the last few days have reconfirmed that belief. Life is beautiful.
Monday, August 15, 2016
Yesterday, we were planning a drive from Cochin to Madurai(that didn't happen). There were two routes shown in the ever efficient Google maps. One was ten minutes longer. I was thinking we should take the one that took less time when I noticed the distance. The one with ten minutes more was actually almost 100km longer.
At that point, every person thinking of going and looking at maps has two choices. Go through a more scenic route, that will slow you down, take every minute as it comes, crawl along watching the world. Or go through a faster route, with speed as your constant companion and good roads egging you onwards.
Both the travelers will reach the same destination and even at around the same time. But it depends on the person as to how much they'll enjoy the path. Someone who wants the beauty will derive great joy from the scenic route. The time wouldn't matter as the experience that would matter to them was the immersion.
Someone who thrives on the speed and the easy roads will love the second path. Put them in the opposite paths and reaching the destination will be the only joy they derive. If they have any energy left that is. Sometimes in our enthusiasm to reach a destination, we forget the fine print. Sometimes you don't even realize there's a fine print. Life is funny that way.
If there was no time, what would you do? I thought of this today when I was reading a very interesting article in brain pickings. Removing time from the picture will make life a lot more interesting and definitely more confusing. Would money continue to have value? My concept of money is again, as something that is given to me for work done that is typically time bound. When I was doing all this thinking about time, we missed the route we were supposed to take and ended up taking a different one. Neither of us were perturbed as we were not on a time limit.
Here is where this gets interesting. At work, we all have time limits. You need to finish things in a certain time limit. Else ultimately your company is not going to make money. So how do you tie timelessness with this? Timelessness is your personal choice. You can talk about it, implement it in your time. It isn't that time doesn't exist, it is that time doesn't become a measure of what and how you do. When you are getting something in return for your time, that someone else depends on, you have a choice, to only do what you love and by virtue of doing something you love, time doesn't matter. Or you do it even if you don't love it, because you get that time in which time doesn't matter. You are still bound by it, but not as much as you would be otherwise.
I'm racing against time most of the time. I set SMART goals where the T (time bound) is also a factor. I set it for everything. Including writing. When my friend told me to write with the assumption that everything I write will go into the trash, but the fact that it is going into the trash will reduce the probability of something going in the next day, I was upset. "why should I waste time" I argued with him. But it wasn't a waste of time. It was an investment, a practice. Somewhere along the way, in trying to live my life, I've forgotten to enjoy the process. The path is more fulfilling than the destination, because the destination is just death.
Saturday, August 13, 2016
I don't notice the birds or the bees
There didn't interest me then
They don't interest me now
I don't see the beauty in unexpected places
There's so much to admire in all that's known
I don't see a brand new me walking around conquering the world
I don't see a gamut of unknown emotions
With you, I see what is, for what it is
And I still continue to observe
And for that, I love you
I keep evaluating new ways to express myself. (Ok, my photography blog has to be updated, i have the pictures, i am just taking my time in posting it) I found this video blogging website someone had recommended to me.
I tried a couple of video recordings and I actually liked it. Maybe, I will create these journals and store them somewhere so I can revisit it a few years later to see how I sounded. ;)
Last night, we were supposed to go to Thailand. We had driven down to Cochin when a friend messaged me a news article about blasts that rocked the country. We started evaluating staying back.
Since I'm an analyst, we decided to look at the expected value. The probability of the blasts happening again near us, multiplied with the value of our lives, subtracted from the probability of nothing happening multiplied with the cost of cancelling/rescheduling our trip. As logical as I claim to be, I couldn't put a value to my life. So the cost of going ended up becoming huge and we cancelled the trip. This got me thinking. We can't rationalize(at least I can't) when there's a perceived threat to our lives, no matter how miniscule it is. Why is that so? Given that there are billions of lives in the planet, why do we all think(me) that we're so indispensable?
Maybe, like my friend says, it's all about wanting to thrive. I can't ever accept that in the scale of the universe I'm a nobody. I'm convinced that even as a tiny particle, I've a role to play. Maybe that's my ridiculous ego at work here. Maybe, it's much more than that or much less than that.
Friday, August 12, 2016
I always thought I was the mirror and you were the shadow,
You found yourself in me and I gained meaning
What is a mirror if it reflects nothing?
What's a mirror if it cannot help you find yourself?
I loved the symbolism and you loved the view..
Little did I realize then, that mirror and shadow we weren't,
But two mirrors facing each other, setting up a million realities
Each as meaningless as the other
And every single one lost forever
The crack in one reflecting light from elsewhere ;
The other facing death penalty unknowingly,
For with the loss of one identity, comes the destruction of another,
Unless new meanings are found and new directions sought!
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Sunday, August 07, 2016
Thursday, August 04, 2016
I guess everyone, goes through a stage in their life when they keep seeing a million options and they don't know what is going to happen. Each road seems either as good or as bad as the other.
I've a very strong fear of the future now. I don't doubt that I'll face it, but I'm scared of the changes and how the transition phase is going to be. Maybe Mars is in retrograde or something right now. Or I'm just as imaginative as ever and creating scenarios when there are none.
Wednesday, August 03, 2016
It is really so easy to fall into a habit. I think the human mind is conditioned that way. Sometimes I think if you'd followed routines in the times gone by, predators would have figured it out and eaten you up. So you could not have had a routine necessarily but you could have a few habits. (my excuse for those times I'm not punctual)
Sometimes, once we break a habit, no matter how comfortable it was, it becomes very difficult for us to get back to it. You feel bad, as you remember the joy the experience gave you and are actually sad too, knowing it's never going to happen again.
I'll take a moment, to remember a few habits- good, old, interesting and bid them adieu.