A very wise person asked me today, if i know the difference between control and strength. Rather, what the difference was. Honestly, I immediately said, "Strength is knowing things will be ok even if they are not in control"
Do I truly believe that, yes. Do I actually implement it in my life? Not always. Often, I hold on to ideas, dreams, aspirations and even a habit, even though I might not like it, because it offers me the ability to control it to some extent. Maybe, I will be ok if i let go of it. Not maybe, I will actually be ok if i let go of it, but the fear of letting go and losing control over rides my belief, in my strength. Will I truly be able to rise above the obvious and reach a stage where I have control and am strong or even one, where I am ok drifting and accepting that once in a while I have to let go before I swim against the tide towards what I want? There I go again, talking about swimming against tides and controlling my actions. Will I ever reach a stage where I will be ok letting go of control completely and surrendering myself to the will of the universe? Take life, one day at a time? Like one of the sadhus I aspire to be like?