Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Stepping back

Ages ago, I wrote about knowing the difference between persistence and stupidity. Rather knowing which causes you are going to see a positive impact if you keep persisting and which are the ones where you are banging your head against a wall, hoping it will crumble. 

I am now trying to take a step back and evaluate my life and honestly, I realize that I have been acutely stupid in a few cases. I hate thinking of myself as stupid. :( So, I am trying to firstly forgive myself and secondly accept it is ok to be stupid, even eternally.

When you contemplate, life seems far less scary because you can truly see where you have come from to where you where. For me that picture always brings a smile on my face. Maybe I have a bloated head. But that same bloated head is being constantly banged against a wall and it was the thickness that prevented my skull from being cracked. 

In a few cases where I had to just walk a few inches forward to get what I wanted, since I had  a bleeding head, I ended giving up. And, I did not understand where I was doing what. I am still not sure if I know, but accepting I am stupid has been liberating in a way, so let me figure out how to do what I need to do next. 

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