Friday, October 28, 2016


Should you know despair to know hope?
Should you know pain to know pleasure?
Should you know love to know neglect?
Should you know anger to know calm? 
Are the opposites needed for meaning?
Or are things just as they are?

I knew black independent of the white,
But the blackness more obvious
as the whiteness was when both were known..
Is it that simple then? 
The intensity of everything, much more
when the contrast comes to play..

The emotion no less valuable, 
Just a lot keener, a lot stronger
with the contrast to lend value..

You rise from the depths,
The pleasure of the high - longer!
You fall from a height,
The fall - just harder

Love,just is
Pleasure,just is
Hope, just is
and Calm, just is..

But it also is not..

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Setting the world on fire

I thought I was setting the world on fire,
I forgot I was the center of my world
I burn this instant, by myself and bright
My vanity happy at the light, despite the pain,
The darkness around clears, but at what cost, I wonder?

Did I set myself free? 
Or did I imprison myself in a burnt out husk?
I burn bright this instant,unable to extinguish,
Powerless to change the course I have set in motion..

Too late to turn back, too late to hide- 
the bright light a dead give away, 
No longer the dark, my friend to surround me..
No longer the dark, my companion to protect me,

Unwittingly, I called upon his foe
Oh, why did i tempt fate so?

There is destruction - unseen, unimagined
My limited mind, having never perceived
the extent of the damage..

I reach out, then withdraw,
Destruction is sought not,
Even by the abnormal..
For there is just damage in the wake..
Was rebirth just another delusion?
Was I better off, hiding?
Should I have picked a delusion - with better chances of survival?
Could I have?

Thursday, October 20, 2016

What is normal?

A couple of days ago, at a work dinner, we were talking about Ramanujam who had such brilliant ideas that he revolutionized the world of math as we knew it then. We progressed to speak about painters, artists and other people who had ideas, people who we call genius. 

I began to wonder - what if there were a lot more out there, these geniuses, who just never expressed them in the right place at the right time? What if they were locked away and considered insane, instead of being applauded for their genius? I mean, someone who questions the norm is either too smart or too crazy at times.

What is sanity anyway? Isn't it an over rated figment of our imagination? What is normal? What was normal once is no longer normal now. We struggle to fit in, to stand out, to move on, to reach out, in short, we keep struggling as we think about some semblance of normalcy, that we aspire towards.

What if you had no ways and means of knowing anything else but what you do? What if truly revolutionary ideas are accepted without being questioned too much? Rather, what if they are debated without being judged? What if things can exist together as much as they cannot? What if we make peace with all the what ifs and acknowledge that nothing can ever be normal the same way nothing can ever be unique? Would life become simpler or more complicated? And aren't simple and complicated just mere ideas?

These mountains

These mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb ~Unknown

A friend of mine had this as her Whatsapp profile picture and she sent it to me, to make a point about something we were discussing. It got me thinking. I have been lost and I am not ashamed to admit it here. I would have been a few months ago, as I usually know where I am going. I am the one that always has a plan in mind and works hard to achieve it. I know what I want to do, where I want to go. A few months ago, a couple of things happened which have led me to question my definition of right and wrong, my world view and every damn thing. I am not ready to talk about in a public forum yet, but suffice to say, it has made me want to be a lot less judgmental about life in general.

The last month, I have not expressed myself. I have just been lost in thought and driving myself crazy. Staying with my friends has helped me a lot (Thank God for them and their belief in me even if i am insane) and I have put down a few mountains I have been carrying. I have not been carrying them for a long time, but it seems like forever. Maybe, that was an interim state in my life and this is a new stage that is very different and still very similar to the earlier one. 

I refuse to carry the mountain any more. I am going to climb it and get it over with. 

Sunday, October 16, 2016

When they go low

People will go low, lower than you ever thought they could. Michelle Obama says, "When they go low, you go high". That is interesting - so is me maintaining my state high as it is higher than the low they have gone to? Or should I actually go higher than where I am? I am just pondering about the quote because I did love it and I want to remember it.

Waking up

Sometimes, you wake up, though you've been wide awake for hours and you realize, you were actually fast asleep. Now, the hazy dream like state was nice, but you were actually letting your muscles go to waste, because you weren't using them in reality, only in a fantasy that was nonsensical. Maybe the fantasy was more real than reality, but it is in no way, shape or form, real. What do you do? Go back to sleep or stay awake, stay away and move forward? I think I'd like to keep moving forward and damn the pain the consequences.

Saturday, October 15, 2016


Sometimes in life, when you don't really know what to do, I think you should try something that puts you out of your comfort zone.
It's OK to be wrong about a few things. What's not OK is to not accept you were wrong and cling on to things that don't make sense or things that ought to keep evolving.
So what if your identity is one of those things? What if your identity is not related to what you thought it was related to? What if you are as big as you are small?

Wednesday, October 12, 2016


Someone I know had posted in FB - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and throw the seeds so that someone else can also have lemons without life giving it to them. Why do i even post it here? Right now, I feel words have lost their meaning and I have no energy to write about anything else. Hopefully, I start writing random nonsense soon. :)