Sunday, February 05, 2017

Letting go

I'm getting ready to jump out of a plane now. I've fantasized sky diving for the longest time, but never gotten around to doing it. Now, I'm going to. I'm waiting for my instructor and listening to music. If these are the last moments of my life, I'm wondering if I should say something witty, something poignant, my last few words. Given my control freak side, I'm surprised I'm not freaking out or scared.

Funnily, nothing comes to my mind. I think I have opened my heart and mind so there is nothing left unsaid. I truly don't think these are my last words because I believe my life has just begun and by letting go of all control, I'm leaving it to him to lead me. But if these are, then my last few words are of gratitude. For a life I've experienced. 

My dear Lord, I trust you with my life. Thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you for all the surprises, thank you for all the love, the success, the heartache, the loss. Thank you for everything. I can't tell you how much I'm grateful. Thank you for Jasmine, who is sitting next to me and chasing her tail now. I feel your presence everywhere and I believe in your plan for me. Symbolically and literally, I'm taking the leap, trusting you to find and hold me, or grant me the strength to hold myself. 

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